(Closed) Who to spend Mother's Day with?

posted 5 years ago in Married Life
Post # 2
Member
498 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

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TheSpecial:  Why don’t you both stay together and spend mothers day with one mom, and then celebrate with the other on a different day. 

Post # 3
Member
200 posts
Helper bee

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TheSpecial:  I think a good thing is to switch off year to year for this. So one year his mom, one your your mom, and maybe alternate the father’s days the other way. So you know, his mom your dad one year, your mom his dad the next year? And making a date with the mom you won’t see a fews after or before?

With my mom it’s kind of easy because her birthday is within a week of Mother’s Day so if I am with SO’s mom on Mother’s Day I just make sure to be with my mom on her birthday, and she is nice about that, understands that SO’s mom is a mom too and thinks it’s nice I make an effort to see her, etc.

Post # 4
Member
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Can you have dinner with your parents on Saturday? That’s what my DH and I usually do on holidays, spend the day before with one family and the day of with another. Sometimes we even have both families to our place, but you’d have to have the room to do so. 

Post # 5
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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TheSpecial:  DH and I always split up for mother’s and father’s day. My dad and I always go fishing on father’s day and my mom and I always do brunch on mother’s day. I prefer it because I don’t often get alone time with them. Once we have kids, this will change!

I think alternating years would be a good solution for you. Or just not celebrating ON the holiday, sometime that week. 

Post # 6
Member
3828 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Everyone is different.  My DH usually spends fathers day with his dad and i spend it with mine.  We usually try to see both moms on mothers day.  It depends on the parents too. DH’s mom would hold a grudge if we didn’t make sure we saw her on mothers day, my mom doesn’t give two farts if i see her on the exact day.  

Post # 7
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

My parents are the ones that live 2 hours away, so I usually left to spend mother’s day with my mom, who has since passed away. Obviously now I make sure I spend it with my Mother-In-Law since she lives close (20-30 mins away) and she’s really the only mom I have. I never minded splitting up much, I also figured it was nice 1 on 1 time with my mom and DH with his mom and the same with our dads. I also see his family much more often than mine so it made sense to me to take some time to spend with my parents.

If you’re going to try to split the day between families and make sure that you both go to each, you’re going to have to get together with your side in the future (since they live the furthest) and perhaps bring the plans to them ahead of time, that way it works with your schedule. You need to let your dad know your intentions to see both or to work around your school/work schedule and so he needs to be able to compromise. I’m not sure what to tell you about this year, although you certainly have time to change plans if your dad will change his mind, but I think going forward you should tell him what you’re willing/able to do.

Post # 8
Member
4521 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Can you invite both ladies over to your place? We may split for now (although this year we’ll be coming back from our honeymoon on Mother’s Day) but once we have kids, we will of course want to celebrate being parents as well as having them, lol.

ETA: our problem is that his bday is May and mine is June, so sometimes celebrations are lumped.

Post # 9
Member
11517 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

Honestly – I don’t think you actually need to spend these days with either. 

I think you need to awknowledge the day but I don’t think you need to go out of your way to see your mothers. 

Maybe I’m a jerk, but I just don’t think you have to (if they lived down the street it would be a little different).

 

First time i went to visit DH’s family was mothers day weekend 10 years ago this year (wow..) we had to go out for breakfast with his mom’s family (which was an ordeal) then we had to go back out for an early dinner with his dad’s family (which was odd seeing as both his parents had passed away already).  It was just so much running around.  The kicker – we went to the same restaurant both times.  They now live a 2hr flight away so we don’t have to deal with it.

 

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 3 months ago by Profile Photo MsGinkgo.
Post # 10
Member
927 posts
Busy bee

It sounds like the fact dinner will be late is the problem, can you have lunch with your mum at the half way point instead?

Post # 11
Member
949 posts
Busy bee

We normally spend Mother’s and Father’s days with my parents, as they live a 15 min walk away and my husband’s mum lives a 2½ hour flight away (his dad passed away before we got married). We could technically try to spend Mother’s day with both our mums, as Mother’s day in the UK is on a different day than it is here in Finland.

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