Post # 1
So as some of you girls know my parents are divorcing and whatnot and it’s becoming less amicable by the day. My question is, who do I take dress shopping with me? I don’t have any bms that I can take (2 are out of state, 1 is my little sister and the rest just don’t care), but I know my dad wants to go really bad. My mom is kinda like meh, I don’t care and I’m not sure if I want to take her anyway because of what’s going on with my family right now. I’ve always shopped for prom and everything with my dad, but this would be the first time that my mom could go shopping for a dress with one of her daughters and I kinda don’t want to take it away from her. What should I do? Has anyone been in this situation before?
Post # 3
im sorry that youre going through all of this right now 🙁
i voted to take your dad. it seems like it would mean a lot to him and he wants to go. i would still ask your mom one more time & if she says she doesnt care, then leave it at that. don’t bend over backwards to make her go, especially if you dont really want her there. the last thing you need that day is someone who is going to be miserable. its supposed to be fun!!
Post # 4
I say take you dad, since it sounds like it’ll mean a lot more to him and he will be more excited for you, and that’s what you need-someone who’s excited and will give you input and support! Do you think your mom will be at all upset if she isn’t involved in picking out the dress, since it seems like she doesn’t care too much about your wedding planning?
But just wondering, why can’t you take your little sister?
Post # 5
@veganglam My little sister is only 15 so she’ll probably go no matter which parent I pick. I can’t really tell if my mom would be mad or not, but I know that she’s upset with me already about some other wedding stuff and I honestly don’t even know if I want her at the wedding. She seemed really interested in going back in like September before everything started going downhill and we even shopped around a little bit and looked at a couple stores. I know she “wants” to go but I’m just not sure if she actually does or if she’s going to badmouth my dad the entire time I’m with her.
Post # 6
It seems to mean more to your dad, and also, it’s good to have a man’s opinion on these things (if he doesn’t get bored shopping).
I say take him. Maybe when you make your final choice, or if it comes down to two dresses, you could take your mom for final choice?
Post # 7
Does anyone else have any insight on this one? I’m truly on the fence about what to do.
Post # 8
I said dad. It sounds like it means a lot more to him, so while the traditional role of “dress shopping” usually falls on the mom, there’s no rule saying it has to be your mom! If she doesn’t really care, odds are your going to get a “meh” response to anything… whereas your dad will be more into it. The odds of choosing a gown on the first trip are low… well, I usually don’t rec. buying straight away… but you could do another “mom” trip after. Then maybe do the rest on your own. I personally got a lot more done without anyone.
Post # 9
My parents are divorced too, both with new people, so I empathize. 🙁
Take your Dad. It sounds like he’s more invested. Reassure your Mom if she comments by planning some other wedding-related task with her alone she may be more interested in.
Post # 10
I say take them both! You could do some shopping with Mom, and if you find the dress then wait. Go back, try it on again, and make the final purchase with Dad! (or vice versa) That way Mom gets to be there when you fine “the one” and Dad gets to be there when you seal the deal! They both get to be there for a special moment!
Post # 11
I agree with Beachy Bride’s suggestion, I’d probably take Dad first for the search (since he seems more into it), and Mom for the final purchase. They both get the experience and hopefully it will be less stressful on you and a more pleasurable experience
Post # 12
Thank you everyone who has been commenting so far. Right now I’m still thinking on it because I know that I want to find the dress the day I go and try stuff on, partly because I hate shopping and partly because I’m fairly sure that I’m going to find what I want the first time around. I’m also going to be buying it the day I find it, so it wouldn’t really work to go twice. Plus, I’d feel really guilty making them both drive up here just to look at some pieces of cloth sewed together. I guess I didn’t make it very obvious in my previous posts, but my entire family lives about 2 hours south of me and we would either have to meet at the store (wherein that means I have to drive an hour to meet them) or they would pick me up and we’d drive over together. Then that night they’d most likely drive back home. So in total it would be between 4 and 6 hours of just driving for whomever comes up here to go shopping.