- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
Hello everyone! I’ve been a long time lurker and this is my first post to ask for some input.The dilemma of who will walk me down the aisle has been a ongoing stress for months now.
BACKSTORY: My mom and dad got divorced when I was 2. My mom remarried and got divorced after 10 years. My then step dad and I never got along well until he got sick. Long story short I relaized alot of thing and our relationship changed 100%. Unfortunatley, he passed away in Septemeber. She married my step dad now when I was 17. He has been amazing. Always there when you need him. From day one of meeting him we have always had a amazing relationship. After my parents divorce my dad remarried as well. My step mom and I have not always seen eye to eye. Ever since I got engaged our relationship started changing for the better…until now.
Here is my issue. My ceremony is outside and there is a long aisle to walk before we get to the guest. I want my step dad to walk me to a tree before we arive at where the guest are seated and my dad to walk me the rest of the way and to give me away. My dad is not having this. He told me either he walks me the whole way or my step dad. Of course I was angry when he said this so I said my step dad. He keeps telling me that he won’t get mad or upset but he clearly has. I feel so caught in the middle. I love my dad and I want him to walk me down the aisle and give me away. But I also adore my step dad and want to give him the same oppurtunity. My dads argument is that my step dad did not raise me and hasn’t been in my life for very long. I do understand this but I don’t feel like he understands what a amazing relationship I have with my step dad.
I’ve talked to many people about this situation and everyone I know in real life has told me that this is crazy for my dad to be mad. Then I talk to my dad and he tells me that all his family and friends think it’s crazy that I would even give it a thought. My step mom told me today her family is horrified at the thought of this.I’ve seen so many friends do this at their own weddings. I’ve also researched wedding bee and all the answers I have found are telling me I’m not crazy.
I spoke with my step mom today about comments that were made by her at my shower (she asked my matron of honor if she thought me and my fiance would last and if she thought we were a good fit). I’m supposed to go over there tonight after work and hash this whole thing out. I hate this whole situation because it’s changed my relationship with my dad, step mom and sister. Even my FI and my mom. It’s caused so much stress and tension with everyone that it’s making the whole planning process horrible.
So now to my question…am I crazy for wanting my step dad to walk me to a tree? And what do I say to my dad to let him see why this is important to me? If he sticks to his guns do I just let him not walk me down the aisle and the relationship forever be changed?