Post # 1
So my parents have both passed away and I am only left with my stepdad who has never really been there for me or my sisters. When he found out about the wedding plans he had his new wife talk to me about if he was going to get to walk me down the aisle. I avoided the question because I have yet to decide how to tell him no. My family and fiance’s family, who I am very close with, want me to stick up for myself and tell him no because of all he has put us through ahe doesnt deserve to. He can also be very mean to my fiance. I thought about having my grandpa walk me, however, my stepdad can be an emotional bully and I am afraid of the drama he will cause if I not only tell him no but that someone else is walking me. I think the only real way to handle the situation is to walk myself halfway and have my fiance come the other half to meet me. That way I can include my stepdad in other small things such as the dance but not allow him the important role of walking me down. Any suggestions on this or how to still tell him I want to walk myself?
Post # 3
I think that you should stand up for yourself and tell him no flat out. There is no reason for you to be bullied into being walked by him or not being walked by grandpa on your wedding day. If he begins to be really mean to you or your fiance or if he starts to create drama, just don’t invite him.
Post # 4
I love the idea of you asking your grandpa to do this.. I would tell your stepfather that you are asking him to do this as a way of involving your parents, but that you have reserved the first dance for him to honor him too.
Don’t let him ‘bully’ you into doing something that you don’t really want to…
Post # 5
“no thank you.”
DO NOT let him guilt you into this. It’s your day and this is a very important part of it.
Post # 6
Was a time, when the 2 BIGGIES reserved for the FOB were walking her down the aisle (giving her away) and the Father-Daughter Dance.
Although some Brides still honour their “Dads” with both, times have also changed.
Many Brides don’t partake in the whole “Giving the Bride Away” idea anymore, so they walk themselves down the aisle, while others have used the occasion to incorporate others dear to them (Both Parents, GrandParents, God-Parents, or if there has been a Divorce or Death then someone else who has been special to them in their life)
It is however the FIRST occasion on the big day, when the Guests do get to see the Bride, so can be fairly significant in regards to who you bestow that honour onto.
The Father-Daughter Dance, is even less of a tradition. There are certainly Brides who skip that totally…
But again like the Walk Down the Aisle, it is something that can be done in countless permatations.
If you are comfortable with giving THAT honour to your StepDad, and really want your Grampa to walk you down the aisle, then I say go with it.
YES you will need to tell your Step Father your plans… and I would make it very clear to him WHY you’ve chosen your Grampa (I personally LOVED your reasoning). That it is a way of connecting the generations of your family together… old with new, past to present, and a way of representing those who are no longer here to share with you.
I would think that most reasonable people would be able to understand this. If your Step-Dad is sooo upset that he says “forget the first dance then”… so be it. It really isn’t that huge a loss.
Hope this helps,