(Closed) Who walked you down the aisle

posted 5 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 2
Member
1541 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I walked down the aisle by myself. Although my dad is a good dad, we aren’t close (parents divorced when I was little) and he tends to stress me out so I really didn’t want to be next to him right before the ceremony. 

you may be suprised to find that your dad will understand or at least won’t be all that suprised. He must know that you guys aren’t close. You could also cop out a bit and say that you think it’s an outdated sexists tradition. 

As for how you convince other people- you don’t. its not their decision. And if they know the situation, they should be proud of you for not just conforming to norms. 

 

Post # 3
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

my mom and my brother. 

Post # 4
Member
698 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My dad walked me down the aisle.  I’m extremely lucky and have a wonderful father (I’m a daddy’s girl through and through), so that was an easy decision. I think my mom was a little disappointed that I didn’t ask her to walk me down the aisle as well, but luckily I just pulled the tradition card. We incorporated her into the ceremony in a different way.

Post # 5
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Walk down the ailse with whom ever you are comfortable with. This is your day and even though you have a dad doesn’t mean he should walk you down the ailse. You could always walk yourself down or grandpa or brother (if you have one)

Post # 6
Member
760 posts
Busy bee

My parents divorced when I was young and I’ve known my step-parents since I was 3. My father was not the best, but he was around and my stepdad, although we were never close, he was there and would pick up the slack when my dad didn’t come through. My dad is the type of person who thinks they were the best parent and expects his honor at my wedding. 

I am having both my dad and stepdad walk me down the aisle. My stepdad will stop halfway and my dad will finish giving me away.

Post # 7
Member
758 posts
Busy bee

I haven’t spoken with my father in years. Originally, I wanted to walk down the aisle alone, but my mom was really upset about not getting to walk me down the aisle.

I think I’m going to offer to let her and my brother walk me down the aisle. 

Post # 8
Member
257 posts
Helper bee

My Dad walked me down the aisle but I’m lucky to have been able to make the descision easily because my family life is very happy and stable. I’ve been a guest at weddings where brides have been escorted by other family members (brothers, uncles) and anything works depending on your own situation. Through a friend of my sister I heard of a wedding she attended at which the bride was walked down the aisle by the groom! The brides father had passed a few years before and she adored him. Even though she had a good relationship with her mum and her family in general the groom met her outside the Church and they made the walk together. Anything goes really although I don’t like the idea of being escorted by more than one person, but I can’t put my finger on why. 

Post # 9
Member
8995 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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MrandMrsN:  both of my parents walked me down the aisle, although I originally only wanted my dad (if anyone at all). When I told my mom I didn’t want her to walk me down the aisle she was utterly crushed so in the end I decided that she cared more about walking me than I cared about her not walking me. My husband is Jewish and it’s their tradition that the groom is also walked down the aisle by both parents so I felt better about being escorted due to that as well. He was walked to the front of the seats, I was walked to him, then together we walked the rest of the way up the officiant. 

Post # 10
Member
8995 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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WasMissNowMrs:  probably because being escorted by more than one person is just awkward because you kind of trip over each other! 

Post # 11
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee

I haven’t had the best experience with my dad over the years so I didnt think he should have this honor alone. Also from a divorced family – he has done a lot for me to not want him to do it. I did still want him to walk me down because hed be really crushed, but I also asked my mother because shes the one who basically raised me and really the only reason why im a sane, normal person haha. So I think she also deserved to walk me down. I dont think you should worry what other people think as it really isnt their day and may not know your whole backstory. Maybe tell him youd want to walk down alone so you can have that moment with just your husband seeing you walk down the aisle in all your glory. I don’t think theres really a specific way to let him down gently especially since he assumes hes going to he doing this. But good luck though! I know its a hard situation. 

Post # 12
Member
257 posts
Helper bee

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LilliV: If I sat and gave it thought it probably would come down to something like that!… “I can’t be seen! My dress is being hidden!”… The little things lol.

Post # 14
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

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MrandMrsN:  I think that’s a perfect idea!

Post # 15
Member
1344 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

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MrandMrsN:  I came from a lousy set of parents too. I’m struggling to decide how to handle the traditions that involve parents on my wedding day. 

My mother and most of my siblings will not be invited to the wedding. We are estranged and when I tried to make peace before the engagement (so I knew they didn’t just want an invitation) they had no interest in being nice. 

My dad hasn’t even congratulated me on the engagement despite his mom (my grandma) being very happy about my Fiance and our upcoming nuptials.

I don’t even want to invite my dad, but it would upset my grandma so I will. I will definitely not have my dad walk me down the aisle. We might be on speaking terms but he is basically a stranger to me. Being on his arm for the entire walk up the aisle would be the most contact with him in all my life combined. I’ve never hugged him before. 

I’m considering having a close guy friend walk me down the aisle or maybe by myself. I’m worried about what my FI’s family will think though. It’s kind of a society wedding. There will be a lot VIP’s, government officials, etc.

My FI’s mom passed away a few years ago, so I think we will skip the parent dances. 

I don’t think you should worry too much about who walks you down the aisle. Choose whomever you feel most comfortable with or who deserves the honour the most. 

 

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