(Closed) Who wants to partake in a vent on this lovely Friday?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2000

She is probably is trying to convince herself of that Very thing.

Post # 4
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

LOL I’ll play. I hate just in general when people make comments about having a big wedding and how “you could spend that money on a house or savings blah blah blah” – what I choose to do with my money is none of anyone’s business. I want a big wedding. I’m having a big wedding. I can afford it without going into debt or ruining my chances of buying a home when we are ready. People need to just STFU about other people’s choices. You are not superior or special because you don’t want to spend money on a wedding. And I find that people on the bee, which is a WEDDING WEBSITE, are even more guilty of this than people IRL. I don’t get it at all. Why come into a thread where people are talking about things for a larger wedding and s**t all over it? It makes you look like an a**hole.

Post # 5
3726 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@ShabbyChicBee:  She’s just jealous and envious. Should they ever have a grand celebration, kindly remark how you fret for her finances as well. 🙂

May her ankles swell and break the thongs on her flip flops.

Post # 6
11697 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@ShabbyChicBee:  thankfully most of my friends have recently gotten married so they get it.  My sister is the same, she can’t imagine spending so much money on a wedding blah blah blah but the shit they spend their money on – are you kidding me!?  Her FH smokes a fair bit of pot, they have a Blue Ray colleciton that is just insanity, they have a Wii, XBox, PS3 and probably a PS4 now.  a 42″ TV in the BEDROOM…yet they rent a rather small house, are supposedly saving to buy one but I don’t see how that’s happening….

Post # 7
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

@ShabbyChicBee:  OMG

FI’s family does weddings like that. Not that it’s a bad thing. That’s just how their family does stuff.

His mom had a somewhat small church wedding. His uncle had a backyard BBQ type wedding.

His grandparents (His grandmother remarried nearly 30 years ago) had a little courthouse thing.

And his sister had a courthouse thing (it was planned within two weeks)

So they can’t IMAGINE doing it another way. They look at us and are just so BAFFLED. “WHYYY don’t you just go to the court house or have a small ceremony?”


It’s so frustrating because it’s not a life or death type situation. It’s a just a choice. I like parties. I want a party. And you know what? They consider me the “thrifty” one of the family. And I am! So it’s not like I’m going overboard with my wedding either. A lot of DIY, a lot of good deals. Only 120 people. Come on! A budget of 10K – 12K is not grandiose!  

I don’t understand the whole “I did X this way and I can’t understand why all the other people and cultures in the world would do it another way.”

How fscking ethnocentric can you get? 

Post # 8
12247 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@ShabbyChicBee:  My SIL wanted a wedding, not a grand ballroom affair, but a “Wedding”, and got pushed into a quick-and-cheap wedding when she got KU. She definitely has made some “why spend so much money” comments (not at us–our wedding was 4K, but about her cousin’s 60K 300 person Chicago bash)



Post # 10
2354 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

@ShabbyChicBee:  Ugh. Girl, just feel bad for her. She’s probably trying to convince *herself* that she doesn’t need a wedding of any kind because she’s realized even if she wanted one, she can’t really have it right now. Probably just trying to make the best of her situation.

@MsGinkgo:  Yep… everyone just spends money on different things. It depends on what your priorities are. (For instance, having that huge Blu-Ray collection seems kinda dumb to me. They’re fairly significantly more expensive than DVDs and I don’t even LIKE them- they look kind of surreal to me. The first Blu-Ray I watched was The Dark Knight and it almost gave me a headache. But some people INSIST that it’s Blu-Ray or nothing. Personal preferences.)

I don’t usually need to vent, but I’ll participate today.

It’s not wedding-related, but I’m going to vent anyway because I have to drive two hours today, from Orlando to Gainesville, which is where my University is based, to go hunt down an advisor.

This is partly my own fault. I was waiting around on my study abroad transcripts to be mailed in so that all of the requirements for my Spanish minor would be met. I started getting nervous because it was taking so long, and did a degree audit and realized I could still get my minor even without those credits. So then I went to apply for that and for graduation.

Which is when I realized (back in September) that I’d messed around and missed the graduation application deadline by 5 days. Not the END of the world- the instructions were to speak to an advisor about being permitted to apply. Worst that could happen is that maybe my name wouldn’t be printed on the program or something (I don’t really care, just give me my degree!)

So, being a distance student this year, I e-mailed my advisor to explain my situation. No response for two weeks. I figure, okay she’s busy, maybe she missed my e-mail. I e-mail her again. Zero response. I’m getting kind of ticked at this point because I’ve never had a problem like this with the advisors before and this is, y’know, actually a PRETTY important issue.

I’d have gone sooner, but then I had already purchased plane tickets to go see my husband overseas, my grandfather had surgery to replace his pacemaker unit, and there was my cousin’s wedding.

So now today I have to spend 4 hours in the car for what will likely be a 15-minute meeting (I’ll get my minor sorted out and they’ll either tell me I can still graduate in December or I’ll have to wait until May), all because for whatever reason my advisor can’t answer an e-mail.

/end very long, whiny, bratty rant.

Post # 11
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Rant on!  I have a relative who makes those same types of comments and it takes all my effort not to sink to her level.  I agree with PP’s in that she’s making those comments to make herself feel better about her own wedding experience.

Post # 12
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@flapperphilosopher:  I totally agree with you.  We are having a big wedding but doing it on a budget because a) I am a teacher and make no money and b) I personally could never spend more than $15,000 on a wedding.  But that’s just who I am!  It’s the same way when I go shopping.  I tend to have expensive taste, but I won’t drop $400 on a Coach bag when I can spend $50 on a good purse at Kohl’s.  I’m just thrifty.  But I’m not going to judge the girl who buys the Coach bag.  I’m not better than her and she’s not better than me.  We’re just different.  If you want to spend $100,000 on your wedding that’s awesome (so long as it doesn’t put you into unmanageable debt…in that case I’m going to question your decision).

Post # 13
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@rachelmichelle:  ughhhh I HATE when advisors aren’t on top of their emails.  Like, it’s your job to advise me!  You’ve got to be there to help me out!  Feel for ya girl!

Post # 14
1231 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

We’re having a small wedding and it has nothing to do with money. I’ve been to tonnes of big weddings though and they’re always so beautiful and fun 🙂 To each their own! Anyone who makes comments like that needs to shush and be respectful!

Post # 15
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@ShabbyChicBee:  My cousin has been dating her boyfriend for ten years. When I got engaged, she was happy for me to my face but wouldn’t speak to me if I tried to text or call her. She started to rant one day about how it isn’t fair that she hasn’t gotten engaged yet and how it’s been ten years… They just bought a house together and are in the middle of renovations. This is a woman who has had EVERYTHING handed to her her entire life and has had the ultimate all American girl life. I had a very tough childhood and young adult hood and grew up very poor. I think it’s ok for something not to go by the book for her. My stepmom keeps saying “Oh I feel so bad for so-and-so” Well, I don’t! I get married in a week and would like for the focus to be on the happy day not on the fact that my cousin is sulking because something isn’t going her way for once. Whew… There. Said it!

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