(Closed) Who will be in the delivery room?

posted 8 years ago in Pregnancy
  • poll: Who will be in the delivery room with you?

    SO/FI/DH ONLY

    SO/FI/DH, MOM

    SO/FI/DH, MOM, MIL

    Other (Explain)

  • Post # 47
    Member
    2184 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @Bazinga:  Outside of the medical staff just DH and I. Were not TTC yet either but I’ve thought about everything to do with it. The only other person I would remotely consider is my mom if it was necessary (DH passes out or is sick at the time etc…) I have a few reasons……

    1) my mom doesnt live here and she may or may not even be here in the province when it actually happens depending on when I’d go into labor vs when she booked a ticket for etc….. 2) Im not sure if WE are going to want houseguests during that time…. I’ve heard from every single person I know thats given birth and read a lot about how you might feel when you get home and having ppl in your face 24/7 can me like OMG im going to freak out…..get out of my house/leave me alone! I had a friend who loves her fam to death but it was just really intrusive …so she was not a happy camper…and thats what would happen if my parents were here (no where else to stay). 3) If my mom was there I know my DH would make a big deal out of his mom too and well.. I like her and all, but I dont want my IL’s barging in on THAT! ….4) I have decided that I want some alone time with my DH and the baby right after birth….Ive just heard horror stories of people not even getting to hold their baby yet and all the parents and IL’s and siblings are in hogging the baby and the mother is laying there like….GTFO….NOW… or they arnt recovered yet and people are barging in……..I personally want to wait until Im out of recivery before anyone (including parents) are told they can come! (personal choice). Again this is so all the grandparents feel equal……yes MY mom is my mother and IM the one having the baby…. but my IL’s are very dramatic and I would never hear the end of it if they werent included….(and trust me…. their drama is something that cant be ignored)

     

     

    Post # 48
    Member
    504 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I had just my DH with me when our daughter was born. I’m not close with my mom so that wasn’t even an option. It would have been nice to have my best friend there for part of the labor if she was able to be there, especially since I was in labor for over 36 hours and my DH could have used a break. Honestly though, I was in so much pain that there was nothing anyone could have said or done to make me feel better. 

    For the delivery, I would never have anyone other than DH there (and medical staff of course). The moment of birth is SUCH a magical and private moment that I think should be shared only between the baby and his/her parents. 

    Next time around, I have to have a c-section so only DH will be able to be there anyway. 

    Post # 49
    Member
    1164 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    My due date is tomorrow (Eeek!) and I only want DH in the room with me when I give birth. My mom really wants to be there though and I’m kind of worried she might just show up at the hospital. She doesn’t understand why I don’t want here there. It’s nothing personal, I’m a really private person and I just don’t want a lot of people around when I’m giving birth. Not to mention my mom can get quite anxious and I don’t need any extra anxiety around me. My DH is an EMT/RN so I’m confident he will be a good enough support that I don’t need any extra people in the room with me (other than the medical staff of course).

    Post # 52
    Member
    8700 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I was fine with my Mom and sister being in the room until transition, but DH REALLY wants it to just be him and I! So it will be, and I’m fine with that.

    But my sister (who is 12, BTW) DESPERATELY wants to see her niece being born! So for #2, I’m going to see if I can make that happen. (My 20 year old sister actually watched the birth of my brother when she was 11, so it wouldn’t be unusual in my family)

    Post # 53
    Member
    721 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Just DH.  I am very private and haaaaate feeling vulnerable around people.  I can handle medical staff just fine because it’s their job and they’ve seen it all, but ain’t nobody else seeing me in all my laboring glory!  Honestly, I’m going to do my best to hold off on ALL visitors until we’re home and have had at least a day or two to get settled in.  I am fully prepared for this to be a fight with Fiance and his family.  In any case, none of this will be relevant for several more years.

    Post # 54
    Member
    567 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Just DH for me. I’ve gone back and forth on whether I want my mom there, but I think not. I am interested in the idea of having a doula there for support, though, so I’ll be researching that.

    Post # 55
    Member
    2265 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @Bazinga:  i haven’t really decided, but it will either be DH and my mom, or just DH. NO ONE ELSE. i’d prefer no one else see me crap all over myself! pass on that thanks! haha

    for other parts of the labor i may not mind having my dad and sister in there, MAYBE Mother-In-Law, but at transition i’m definitely kicking them alllll out!

    Post # 56
    Member
    423 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    My mom might very well drive me nuts.  I love her to death.  We are very close and have a great relationship, but she.. I don’t know.  Tries too hard or something?  I had a procedure when I was 11 and she was there and I just about wanted to kill her.

    For me it will be my twin sister, who had a baby in 2012 and DH.

    Post # 57
    Member
    239 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @Bazinga:  just my husband. I think it’s important to respect your husbands wishes. Your mum should understand if she isn’t in the room. It will be the birth of a child who is part of YOU and your HUSBAND. I personally only wanted us in the room, along with a midwife and/or doctor and our student midwife. I had a complicated biRuth and ended up with a medival team of about 8-10 people. My mum popped in with my brother about an hour before I started to push. They sat outside my room and heard my sons first cry 🙂 and my husband announcing “we’ve got a boy!” 

    I hope to do the same next time 🙂

    Post # 58
    Member
    2127 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

    My husband for sure & if he was comfortable with more people, I would like my mom & sister there too!  I don’t need them per se, but they’re company is always welcome around here & they would be a nice distraction.  With that said, my husband’s deserves to be comfortable & have a say in it too which I totally respect if he just wanted us two & our new family! 

    Post # 59
    Member
    37 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    DH has already admitted he is not going to deal well with delivery. He gets queasy and nervous  as soon as we step into hospitals. He also faints at the site of blood! So even though he is going to be in the room, whether it’s hiding behind a pillow or whatever, my mom is definitely going to be in there with us too.  

    Post # 60
    Member
    2292 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I am not pregnant, but I have already decided it’s just going to be me and my husband. I have a really good relationship with my mom, but I know she would be very emotional. I know myself well enough to realize that in that situation I will need someone who will be supportive, but in kind of a football coach way. I get extremely uncomfortable and a tend to shut down when people around me get emotional so it would be best to just have my mom come by as soon as it’s over rather than during.

    Post # 61
    Member
    4145 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I think that you’d find that having all those people in there while you are trying to push a watermelon out of a button hole would REALLY be obnoxious. Giving birth is definitely not a party and you don’t get a huge room either so unless you want one of those 5 people seeing your baby come out your hoo ha you might want to pare down your guest list a bit!

    As you said though you aren’t even TTC yet, so wait until you are actually pregnant and at the point where you are thinking about a birth plan to get too worked up about who you and your DH each want in the room.

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