Post # 1
I was just wondering who you plan to have in the delivery room and the waiting room at the hospital when you go into labor??
For some reason, I really only want my husband in the delivery room. I also kind of don’t even want anyone else there, until after the baby is born.
However, my mom is a nurse and wants to come down for my labor. But as I said, I am not sure I want her there in the delivery room. Then my sisters keep pressuring to have her there. They were saying its traditional to have the mom there, when actually that’s not true at all: it’s traditional to just be the wife and husband. Also, if anyone is there, I only want my mom. I don’t want my sisters around or my in-laws, or anyone. I think my sisters plan to be there, but I really don’t want them there…even in the waiting room. To me, a birth is like a husband/wifey thing. But also, I feel like we have very pushy, bossy, and judgmental families and I don’t care to have any of them around while we are having our baby. Please don’t think I am selfish for feeling this way, but I am also a very private person, and just feel like I only want to share this experience with my husband, etc. Perhaps, I would let my mom come, but I don’t want my sisters there, and not even my dad really. We definitely don’t want the in-laws there.
I mean I don’t want them there until after the baby is born, then we would invite people to visit, I think.
Post # 3
When Dirty Delete was born everything happened so quickly that nobody even knew I had gone into labour. It was just me and Fiance and that was exactly how we wanted it. We called our families about 2 hours after she was born so we got a little bit of just us time before they came to visit.
I heard someone say once that it’s just the husband and wife present when the baby is made. The same should be when the baby is born.
Post # 4
When I was first in labor, it wa just my husband. I was in so much pain, I asked for the epidural and it literally put me to sleep! When I woke up to painful contractions, my entire room was full of people! My parents, his parents, my siblings and his siblings! WTH! I was pissed! I ended up going to the OR for an emergency C section and it was just my husband allowed 🙂 Everyone else joined after. Thank God! Lol.
Post # 5
I’m still undecided about this. My mom will be at the hospital, and likely my MIL/FIL (who are like parents to me). I have the option to have 2 other people other than Darling Husband with me. They’ll all be at the hospital with me, though. It might be that I want one or both (Mom and MIL) in during labor, but only Darling Husband during delivery. Both of them would be happy to be in there with me, neither will be hurt if I just want Darling Husband, so I’m just going to play it by ear.
FWIW, though, it’s common for it to be the father/mother NOW but it’s more of a recent tradition. For a loooong time the fathers weren’t even allowed in the room. It was “women’s work”. I think it’s so awesome that it’s so accepted to have options, now, and that our partners can be so involved, based on our comfort rather than what tradition and society dictates…because I would be pissed if Darling Husband had knocked me up but then couldn’t be in the room with me when I delivered.
Post # 6
(Note: I am still far away from this personally, but my older sis just had a baby which made me think about it)
My sis had her baby (her second) in a birth center. It was converted old house in downtown. She was in one room & literally right next door was the waiting room where we sat. We could hear EVERYTHING! It was super awkward so my Fiance & I went outside to wait. My mom sat by the door crying to hear her little girl in so much pain. That’s just so weird to me!
I will only have my Fiance (then hubby) with me whenever we have children. I know our families will want to be at the hospital (both of our families are very close and he’s an oldest child with a large age difference so we will have his parents first grand babies).
Post # 7
My plan from the start was to just have Darling Husband there. I told my mom flat-out that when I went in to labor that she wasn’t to show up until I called her and told her to (she lived right beside the hospital).
It sounds cruel to some, but having my baby was something I wanted only Darling Husband and I to have between the two of us. I wanted to enjoy my first moments with the three of us as a family and be alone with my baby.
Luckily I was induced and had my baby at 5am, so it wasn’t like anyone was waiting around for the birth. We figured the induction would take much longer. It gave us a number of hours to spend alone before our families started to arrive.
Post # 8
@urchin: OMG ME TO. I don’t want people waiting around for hours with me while i’m in labor. It will frustrate me most likely….plus I want it to be 100% special for me and Darling Husband.
I’ll probably call my mom as I get there but she knows not to come up until she’s told to….So, we’ll probably call her before I push. She only lives 15minutes away from the hospital so she will see the baby just in time.
Post # 9
I guess im in the minority here lol i *think* (ill have to double check) the hospital im going to deliver at allows up to 3 people in the room. Besides Darling Husband, I want my mom and Mother-In-Law there. This my mom’s first (blood-related) grandchild so its special for us both….and my Mother-In-Law is great for asking questions and making sure things are going smoothly etc so i kinda want her there to be my go-to person when i need something or when/if something needs to be asked n im too caught up in my own little ‘get-this-baby-out’ world…lol…plus, i kinda wanna try water birth, n if Darling Husband is allowed in there wit me, so he wouldnt be available if i needed anything like ice chips or whatnot….lol
Post # 10
I voted that I only want my husband there but I have a feeling that no matter what, I’ll end up with relatives in the waiting area. I think that our mothers would like to be there for the birth but I would prefer to just be alone with Darling Husband.
@mrs.folks: You poor thing! That would be such a nightmare to wake up to all of those people even though I’m sure they had good intentions.
Post # 11
I only want Darling Husband in there for the birth, but during labor I’ll probably allow family in to visit (to keep my sanity).
My guess is family will already be in the waiting room. This is DH’s families first grandchild, so I can assume they will be waiting. While I would like the first few hours after delivery to be just us, I have a feeling family will not want to respect it.
Post # 12
I just want my Darling Husband there. Personally, I feel like it’s such a special moment for us. It will be our first time together as our own little family!! And, I’m really private and don’t care for others to see my hoo-ha that way 🙂
My mom, however, had a lot of the family in the room for the birth of my little brother. I remember watching, and it was really cool. So either way…it’s special 🙂
Post # 13
I only want my mom and Fiance there for the birth. I don’t care who is in the waiting room.
Side story: I took Future Mother-In-Law and my mom when I bought my dress, during which they basically saw me in my underwear, but whatever I’m not that shy. Then Future Mother-In-Law makes the comment of “well I’m going to be right there when you deliver a baby, so nothing to worry about here!” Uhmmm no!
Post # 14
My stance is this, if you were there for the conception, you can be there for the delivery.
When I worked mother/baby it would creep me out how some families were. One time walked in to examine a new mom and told the family they needed to step out(I needed to look at her episiotomy stitches). They wouldn’t leave. Brother in law says “hell I filmed the delivery myself, she don’t care if we stay”, and she didn’t! Just weird and creepy to me.
Post # 15
Just my husband for the delivery, don’t mind families being in the waiting room tho and coming in after I’ve had a chance to hold the baby & we’ve got freshened up 🙂
Post # 16
Only my husband, for sure. But, we live a 4+ hours from most of our family, so it won’t be such an issue anyway. I figure we’ll let people know when we are in labor or heading to the hospital, but no one will come until after the baby is born. I think our families would be pretty good about respecting that we don’t want anyone in the waiting room, waiting around for me to push, you know?
I love my mom, but Im pretty sure she would stress me out more being there.