Post # 1
My parents divorced nearly 20 years ago and my Mum can’t stand my Dad (long story). Mum pretty much brought up my brother and me and I will obviously be eternally greatful for her never ending love and support.
My Dad lives in a different state and I see him once, maybe twice a year. Our relationship is good but I sometimes feel he cant relate to me because we dont get to spend much time together.
I love both of my parents but I dont know who I should ask to give me away at our ceremony, or if I should just walk down the aisle by myself (which i am totally fine with). I want to ask my Mum because I am closer to her and she raised me, but I want to ask my Dad because he has missed out on big parts of my life and I think he deserves to share this moment with me.
I dont want to offend either parent, which is why I think it would just be easier to walk down the aisle myself. If I thought Mum would agree to it, I would ask them both (one on each arm), but I just know that would never happen, even just for one day. I am lucky I have had Mum even agree to be in photos with Dad!
What should I do?
Post # 3
Maybe you could have them both walk you down the isle. If they really love you then even if they hate eachother with a burning hot passion they can put it aside for one day to make you happy.
Post # 4
I was just going to make the same suggestion as @bride21:! A friend of mine, whose parents are divorced and DO NOT get along, had them both walk her down the aisle, one on each arm. She had never thought she’d be able to stand between her parents like that, but they were both willing to put on a good face for her on her wedding. I have never seen that girl happier in my life
Post # 5
I personally would ask your Mum. But that is only because i’m in a similar situation, My Dad left my Mum and never bothered with me or my sister until a few years ago.
Have you thought about asking your brother to give you away? (If your close) Thats what one of my friends did.
Post # 6
@Future Mrs. Miller:
My brother and I aren’t that close. I did think about asking him but i changed my mind.
One thing I didnt mention in my original post was that my Mum loves having power over people, and I just think if I ask her to share the aisle walk with Dad, she will feel that she has power over me in being able to say no, and I dont want to give her the satisfaction. She thinks she gets to make the decisions and everyone else just has to deal with it, even if it means me missing out on things important to me on my wedding day. Sorry if that sounds awful but I dont know how else to say it.
Maybe I shouldn’t ask her, but tell her that if she wants to give me away, she will have to share with Dad, otherwise she will miss out altogether?
Post # 7
@MrsP2011: I like the telling idea. I think you should explain it in the way of, “I know it is traditional to have just your father walk you down the aisle, but since you have been so important in my life I’d like to have you join me and Dad.” That way you’re explaining it in a way that makes her feel good, but isn’t a ‘choice’ of her OR your father.
Post # 8
I agree with Brianalaura. Maybe that is the only way to get it where they can both walk you down the isle and if she fights it and tries to make a big deal out of it then leave her out and just have your dad do it. She should realize that it is YOUR day and YOUR decision on what happens. She shouldn’t be able to push you around, ESPECIALLY on your wedding day. Try talking to her about it, she may surprise you.