(Closed) Who wore white to your wedding?

posted 12 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 107
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2010

That I KNOW of? So far two. One is one of our lectors and she sent me the picture of the dress and it’s fine, white with big blue flowers. The other? My brother’s Fiance… who will be in all the family pictures with us. They have zero money so my mom called and said “Oh I just got “Susie”‘s dress for her” “Really, what does it look like?” “White, kneelength” I was uhmm hello? You came with me to buy MY dress.. But honestly I took a deep breath, and even if other people besides these two come in white – everyone is going to know it’s OUR day.. and if the long white ivory gown doesn’t give it away, well hopefully the guests that know us (which should be about 95%) will know exactly who is the bride and groom. 

Post # 108
Member
564 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

wow, I would not be okay with some one, especially family, wearing white. I already told Mr.Bobby, that I will flip if someone does. I mean, even the day is about us and of course people are going to think that they have bad manners/etiquette. It’s the principle of the thing, them trying to upstage the bride. So they will definitely get a little talking to from me lol

Post # 109
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee

Years ago at my brother’s wedding, the MOB wore a white suit with a funny looking hat with a cage veil and feathers on it!  I always thought it was odd, but I guess my sister-in-law must have okayed it.  The hat looked like something Peter Pan wore.

Post # 110
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: September 1990

I wore an off-white suit to a wedding many years ago, linen, very un-bride-like, with lots of green accents (belt, jewelry, shoes). I was in my 20’s, and had never heard of “the rule”. I don’t have any older sisters, hadn’t been to many weddings, and have a mother with no social skills. I wore this because I was dirt poor and it was the only dress I had; I couldn’t afford to buy something new. I told many people before the wedding, including the bride, and no one said a thing or seemed to care.

That said, I think you should give the people a break if they just appear to be clueless. I’m sure most of them just don’t realize it’s an issue. I would only be annoyed at the divas who always think they’re hot stuff and you know they did it because they can’t stand to have the attention taken away from them — but that goes for any woman who tries to upstage the bride in ANY color — extremely tight and revealing dresses, for example, are tasteless at weddings. At least my suit was frumpy, at best, being an actual SUIT, with long sleeves and below-knee skirt.

And older, eccentric aunts — in my opinion can wear whatever they want. The pictured dress in no way would detract from the bride — it’s an old lady outfit. And it’s not very nice, in my opinion, to post that lady’s picture online, and “out” her. On this page it instructs those leaving comments, “please avoid personal attacks and snarkiness”. Isn’t posting this picture a personal attack? In My Humble Opinion.

Post # 111
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee

@locket: I was just thinking about that too!  I love that show, The Office cracks me up!

 

I confess to wearing a black and white dress about 10 years ago to my then-BF’s co-workers wedding.  It was a sundress, and I didn’t think about it until we were sitting there, waiting for the ceremony to start.  I felt really, really dumb.  

The dress did have a lot fair of black in it though.  I spent the whole night wondering if the bride (who I barely knew), was mad at me.  I didn’t have the guts to ask her.

I’m gonna chalk this up to being 24 and naive.

Right? Embarassed

Post # 112
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee

@dc2: It’s very pretty!  I don’t think it’s too much white.  The flowers are lovely.  

but maybe check with the bride just to be sure?

Post # 113
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I agree with you trailmix…..I don’t think it takes anything away from the bride and really don’t think it’s a big deal. That being said I haven’t done it for fear of being judged by others, lol, but if someone wore that to my wedding I really wouldn’t care.

 

Edited because I didn’t see someone else’s post

@ ShirleySquirrley: Holy crap, obviously what happened to you is NOT what I’m talking about, that is just terrible!!!!!

Post # 114
Member
5259 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I actually wore an ivory dress with a black belt to a wedding several years ago.  I never thought anything of it, and I was dating the best man, so I was just trying to look nice.  Now that I am more aware, I probably wouldn’t risk it again- but I really didn’t know at the time that it might be a problem for anyone.  I guess I can understand how others feel, but personally don’t see what the big deal is.

Post # 115
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

what about guests wearing white dresses to other wedding events (shower or rehearsal dinner?)  is that considered poor form?

Post # 116
Member
2042 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I wore this to a wedding once. Was probably bad form according to most posters here, but honestly I don’t think the bride cared, and I didn’t even think about it until I saw this debate here.

[attachment=1125457,141640]

Post # 117
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2010

My uncle’s wife wore a light white pantsuit. It didn’t bother me too badly though.

Post # 118
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I think there’s a big difference between a cute white patterned sundress and like, a white gown.  @meliss I think your dress was totally fine, a couple of girls wore similar dresses to my wedding and I didn’t mind (or even notice) at all.

Post # 119
Member
414 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

@ShirleySquirrley: Wow. Your Mother-In-Law wore a wedding dress to her son’s wedding. That is weird. My husband’s cousin wore a white dress to our wedding but she’s only sixteen and I never even noticed until someone told me about it later.

 

Post # 120
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I HAVE to comment again, because I can’t believe all the brides that say they “don’t mind” guests wearing white on their big day!  A guest is bad enough – a family member (especially MIL) is whole other thing.

The reason I had such an issue with her attire wasn’t because I was worried that people would confuse HER as being the bride.  It wasn’t because I thought she’d upstage me.  This is going to sound very not-nice, but I don’t know any way of putting it except bluntly:  MY family paid more than $75,000 to throw me the wedding of my dreams.  My in-laws contributed NOTHING to that amount – additionally, they refused to return phone calls or partake in ANY planning of the wedding. 

So, when she showed up wearing THAT, my anger, frustration, saddness, and disbelief was due to the fact that I felt she had disrespected all of the hard work my family had put into the wedding I had always dreamed of.  To hell with MY feelings.  My mother and grandparents had worked VERY hard, and her actions were nothing but a slap in the face.

 

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