(Closed) Who would you save? – a debate on ethics between FI and I

posted 6 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 62
11466 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I would have to save my own family members in those scenarios.  I have not yet had my own children, but I do have stepchildren.  My greatest obligation, as well as my strongest desire, would be to help them.

I agree with @peachacid: that the scenarios given here aren’t really creating the level of conflict that is generally associated with these exercises.  Last night, my Darling Husband, DSD, and I watched “The Impossible,” the movie about a family that experienced the devastating tsunami in Thailand in 2004. My Darling Husband was quite visibly emotional over the husband/father’s choice to send his two little boys, ages 7.5 and 5, by themselves — in a foreign country in the middle of a horrific disaster — with strangers to a place where they might be protected so that he could remain behind to keep looking for his lost wife and older son. That would have been a very hard choice to make.

Post # 63
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My child. My husband. Sorry, strangers.


Post # 64
203 posts
Helper bee

I think in a situation like this, instinct will always win.  I don’t think anyone could actually walk away from the people they love to save someone else.  JMO

Post # 65
9095 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’d choose my family every time without hesitation.

Post # 66
2515 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

my Darling Husband and my child in all of those scenarios. you don’t have much time to react during an earhquake. i grew up in the SF area and was here for the 89 quake. i barely had time to reach a doorway. for the first few seconds i was frozen because i didn’t realize what was going on. you most likely wouldn’t have time to decide who to save before the shaking stops. 




Post # 67
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

How on earth could anyone as a mother not say child first?  I’d let 1000000 people die over leaving my daughter to die.  Guaranteed.  Like @Brielle said, my obligation and strongest desire would always be to save my baby.  There’s nothing more important to me on this planet than her.

If I had to choose between my husband or my daughter I would save my daughter in hopes my husband could save himself.  If not. I would still save her.

The last one is hard, because I think he would want me to try and save the kids, but at the same time, I think my instinct would be to go to him.

Post # 68
450 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013 - Garden

I think most men would say they’d save the bus and most women would save their family. As a general rule – and of course there are always exceptions! – men tend to make split decisions rationally, while women make split decisions emotionally.

Post # 69
10713 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would  save my son no matter what. I couldn’t imagine losing him. In the other senerios I’d save my husband no matter whose in the other bus. 

Post # 70
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Daffadowndilly:  My husband is wicked rational, and he just said he would save me and/or our kids.  

Post # 71
7371 posts
Busy Beekeeper

1st my child. He agree.

2nd I wouldn’t save my husband because I know that he would want me to save the kids. I would expect the same, I’m an adult I’ve lived give those 50 a chance

3rd example I’d save husband over adults. He agrees.


Post # 72
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2013


My Children and my FH, Always. no matter who was in the bus on the other side. 

I asked FH and he said the same as me. 

He couldnt live without us so why would he not save us. 

I find it odd that people who have children would be willing to let them die…the thought makes me sick to my stomach so I am Glad FH said what he did lol! 

Post # 73
11165 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Without thinking I guarantee I would try to save my husband and/or my child. It would be instinctual to try and save my family.

Post # 74
1348 posts
Bumble bee

My SO could definitely save himself, if he ever has to rely on my strength to survive we’re both doomed, haha.

As far as the child in a car vs. 50 children in a bus, I’d go to the car. I can’t imagine a bus sinking in the ground very far during an earthquake and they have rooftop emergency exits (it would be fairly easy to get them out after the bus sank down. A car is much more difficult to escape from and typically cars have smaller frames and could be crushed more easily than busses.

This would never happen in reality because I don’t know what 50 children would be doing without adult supervison to begin with. Also, I don’t live in the middle of the sticks so the likliness of me being the only adult around are slim to none.

Post # 75
4753 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’d always save “me” first. Therefore, I will save my kid, and my husband over “many kids”, and/ or “many husbands”

Post # 76
1400 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I take care of my own, first and foremost. I don’t think it sounds bad either. We all protect our own, its how we survive. I don’t even honestly know, if I saw my family first, I don’t think I’d ever even see the bus at all.

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