MemberMy husband and I had this converstaion early in my pregnancy, and he said he would choose to save me. His reasoning was that he only has one wife & we could always try to have more children.
Member@Mrs. Spring: We came to pretty much the same conclusion. I know H would want to save me. I think if it was late in my first pregnancy, I would be more inclined to save the baby than me, but if I already had one at home, I’d feel obligated not to abandon him/her. But H already said he would never want my life put in danger for our unborn child’s life.
MemberWow… yes, my husband and I both agree to save me first. As has been said, we can make another baby (no matter how much we love and value this one), but another me isn’t possible. It doesn’t matter if we already kids or not, it would be me.
MemberHonestly, I would let my DH take the lead on this decision. If I die, he’ll be the one left behind to emotionally deal with the trauma, and take care of the other children if there were any. I can’t fathom putting my life before my child’s, so if the decision were solely up to me, I’d say let the baby live. But in the end, like I said, it would be DH dealing w/ the aftermath, so I’d rely heavily on what he wanted.
MemberSomeone correct me if I’m wrong, but if you haven’t yet given birth you’re technically the patient and the hospital’s duty is to you (I thought?).
MemberI voted myself…. but i’d have to have VERY VERY good odds that I would DIE unless i killed the kid (which ofcourse the chances of that happening when your about to give birth are slim to none) I mean c’mon – emergency C-section. Even If I chose to save myself and let the kid die – then theyd have to get it out of me in some way. And if they could do that then why couldn’t they do it right away a try to save the babies life. So the entire situation is impractical…
But say if they said to me theres a 15% chance you might not make it if we do a csection right now – but if we wait, the kid won’t make it. I MIGHT take the chance… but that all depends on what my hubby would say and I have a feeling he would tell me its not worth the risk but I’d feel differently. Born or Unborn – its still my child.
Memberi would want them to save the baby. yes we could habe another baby BUT it wouldnt be the same baby that i carried for 9 months and fell in love with. just like my hubby could find another wife. to me they are equal lifes. during labor when i was pushing and things were getting dangerous the doctor presented me with options of how to get my son out, the first response out of my mouth was whatever is safest for the baby, i think it changes for a lot of people whne they actually going through delievery rahter then a hypotheticla situation
MemberWe had this convo, too. I would save the baby. I figure, I have already lived so I would want to give my child the chance. My husband completely disagreed. Good thing we’re CBC!
MemberMy mother almost died having me. Part of the placenta stayed and she started bleeding out. There was never a choice that had to be made but hearing my father talk about how he thought he would have to raise 3 daughters on his own makes me think that I would want to be saved over my child. I wouldn’t want to know I had killed my mother. Not saying that I know how I’d feel if I was in the moment, but just from my family’s experiences I would choose to try for more.
MemberThat’s really hard. I already have a child so I can’t leave him if at all possible. I don’t think I could make that choice though someone else would have to.
MemberMy husband and I really clash on this one, and because he has a real death phobia it keeps cropping up. I personally would save Emma before I would save myself- I know in my heart I could never live with myself if I chose differently. Meanwhile DH would want to save me.
While there are no perfect answers in these situations (and my answer may be different if we already had children), I know that saving the baby is the right one for me.
MemberDH has HC POA over me, so ultimately it would be his decision. We have been TTC for so long too, and he BADLY wants children, so it likely would not be an easy decision. I guess we need to have that talk…….
PS. I vote to save myself, maybe Im selfish, but llike others have said – there can always be other children, one way or the other.
MemberI don’t feel like I’m qualified to answer this.. becuase I’ve never been pregnant… but sitting here right now I think I’d pick the baby. I’m just the type of person that if I could save another person’s life… I would do it. Like a pp said. For me saving the baby is the right choice. Not an easy one for sure.
Member@lorie: I agree 200%!!!
I also had an emergency C-Section and my child is ALL I cared about. The life of my precious child is more important to me. The way I see it, I’ve lived my life and had my chance at everything, I would want to give my baby that chance. I know that I could never live with myself if it came down to that. I already experienced a traumatic spontaneous abortion and just can’t imagine living knowing that they saved my life instead of my baby.
And as far as leaving my husband behind with my child, he’s already an awesome dad and don’t think twice about whether or not he could do it! Yes, it would be hard but with the help of family, he will be just fine.
Member@Mrs. Spring: “My husband and I have had this conversation, and he always says he would save me. His thoughts are that we could always have more children, but he could never replace his wife.”
DH and I are the same way. While it is an awful choice to make, we agree on what we would do.
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