Post # 32
I would want to save the baby. To me, each child that I am blessed to carry is a unique little person – you can try for more children, but they aren’t interchangeable. You’ll never have the one you lost. Carrying a baby is already being their mother, and as their mother it is my job to protect them.
Post # 33
@Bubblefish: I would not jump to saying it is because you are selfish, you have people that care about you and their feelings are important to consider. I don’t think there is really a right answer to this, just what is best for your situation. It is a very personal decision. People are going to be hurt either way.
This is a very depressing question, I am carrying now, but I can’t really say how I would feel until I got to that point. Either way, my husband and everyone that loves me would be devastated.
Post # 34
I found out a few months ago that my uncle and his wife had to make this decision years ago. She had some condition (pre-eclampsia, I think?) and they had to decide to leave the baby in the womb longer, which posed a risk to my aunt, or do a c-section and take the baby out early which is of course detrimental to the baby’s health. They ended up decided to deliver him early (I forget how far along) at only 2 pounds. Luckily both survived.
I honestly don’t know what I would do. In the moment, I’d probably want to save the baby. But I know DH would likely want to save me, I think he’ll be the kind of guy who feels more like a dad after baby’s born.
Post # 35
I’m pregnant right now and from the moment I got the positive pregnancy test, there has been nothing I wouldn’t do to save my child. My husband have talked about this very scenario and he knows my desire is to save our daugher even if it means sacrificing my life. She is everything to me and there is no replacing her. Even though she isn’t here yet, she is my world. She is my every thought. I love my husband so much but I couldn’t live with myself if I chose my own life over the life of my child. We actually meet with our attorneys this week to update our wills. I needed it to be done before going into labor, so I know that no matter what my daughter is provided for.
Post # 36
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
One of my friends ended up in this kind of a situation with their first child, and honestly I agreed with her decision and it’s the same as mine (and her doctors!) They did what needed to be done to save her; then, they focused all their efforts on saving the child.
Fortunately, that situation ended well for all involved. But basically, my friend reached a point towards the end of her pregnancy (around 30 weeks) where the longer she stayed pregnant, the more likely it was she would die. I’m not talking about an ER episode where both mother and child are bleeding out on the table; but due to the complications, the pregnancy was putting a very real risk to my friend’s life.
They decided to give her steriods for a few days to boost the baby’s development in a hope that when they made the next step it would do enough help to give the baby a fighting chance, then they induced labor at 30 1/2 weeks. Their daughter was born at just 3 lbs and spent the first several months of her life in the ICU. My friend was in the hospital for about a week after the birth, and then was healthy enough to be discharged, and begin the long process of helping her daughter to grow and develop enough.
They COULD have waited and let the baby develop in the womb and she probably would have had an easier time of it, but she also might have grown up without a mother if that was the case.
I have absolutely no doubt in my mind, I wuld want the doctors to focus on saving me first, and my unborn child second. But I pray every night that I never have to go through what I watched my friend deal with.
Post # 37
It’s interesting to see opinions go both ways. While I do NOT mean to hijack this thread, as I read the posts I couldn’t help but think of a blog post I read recently about how certain late term abortion laws are trying to take this very difficult choice out of the hands of women and families and instead be made by the government or hospital boards. http://nevergetfooledagain.blogspot.com/2011/06/normal-0-microsoftinternetexplorer4.html Some people would like to legislate choosing the baby over the woman, even if the baby can’t survive outside the womb.
Post # 38
I don’t have any children, nor do I really plan to, but I voted save myself. I agree with many others that we could try to have another baby or even adopt. There is no way on this green earth that I could see my Fiance raising a baby by himself. If the roles were reversed and my Fiance was the one having a baby and died, I would be destroyed. I imagine feelings change when you’re actually carrying a child/have children, but as of now, that’s where I stand on this.
Post # 39
I think the reason I couldn’t answer this was that as @lorie and others have said it is not really a question for me, I actually think I subconsciously assumed I would die for my baby. I mean we get pregnant and have children to pass on life, that is nature’s intention, as asults we have already lived, and a child is not replaceable. I could not imagine choosing my own life if that meant my child not living.
Post # 40
It’s such a hard question to face, especially while pregnant! I’m due to be induced tomorrow night, and DH and I have had this conversation in the past. He said he would always choose me and obviously I wouldn’t have a choice in the matter if the situation were that dire. He will have to go on the word of the OB on if it were possible to save all of us.
As morbid as it is, I took a life insurance policy out on myself last month, just in case. I need to know my boys will be provided for and that my husband wouldn’t be left with nothing if something were to happen!
Post # 41
This scares me just thinking about it…I would want them to save our baby though. I love her so much already and could never live with myself if I knew they saved me and my innocent baby didn’t have a chance at life.
Post # 42
@EastMeetsBarn: Yikes! That’s a decision that should NEVER be taken away from the woman or family.
Post # 43
My husband and I have had the same discussion. We both agreed–hands down–that we would save me (or want to) before an unborn child. Regardless of whether it was our first or fourth. I posed this question to my husband only before we discussed it, and he didn’t hesitate before saying that if something happened and it came down to one or the other–he’d choose me. I think if I were in his place as a husband/hypothetical father, I’d choose the same way
Post # 44
I think this would be more difficult for me if I had a baby at home already. Since this is my first pregnancy, I would say I would want them to do whatever they could to save my baby. I love this little tiny life already, and I want him or her to grow healthy and strong and have a chance to live and love. I want the very best for my little one, even if it means I’m not there to ensure that happens. I know my husband would probably have a different opinion on this one because he would want to save my life if at all possible, but I’ve been pretty clear on my feelings if it came down to something like that. I’m totally crying thinking about this, btw. Thanks, preggie hormones!
Post # 45
We’ve discussed this. My husband would save me first with no hesitation. I wouldn’t have married him if he thought otherwise. I come first for him. He comes first for me.
Post # 46
@Gingerlemon20: My bf has said that he’d save me. Or that if I was pregnant and needed chemo or something he’d be concerned about me first.