Post # 17
Were having sweetheart table, my sister did all the attendants… at all the weddings ive been to Ive never seen parents at the head table.. and mine are actually excited to sit with their brothers and sisters and close friends… its only dinner..
Post # 18
To make this decision harder, my Fiance just informed me that he thinks parents should be at the head table. He said he’ll check to see what his mom thinks, and then if she also thinks so, then of course we’ll have parents up there with us.
I LOVE my mom, but our venue isn’t huge. We have a cap of 120 people. If we go through with parents at the table, thats 14 people across the front! Grr… at least I have 9 months to figure out seating.
Post # 19
We are doing a cocktail reception with no assigned tables. We will have large and small tables scattered around the rooms with stations in different places as well to help keep it flowing.
At my FSILs wedding this summer her head table was just siblings and their dates. Not the wedding party (siblings were part of party however). I wasnt in the wedding party, but I did sit at the head table which was a circle table.
Post # 20
For what its worth, it really isn’t a hardship for us to have +1s for our bridal party at our head table because we only have 5 people total in the bridal party (MOH, 2 Bridesmaid or Best Man, best man, GM). Three of the five have people that will definitely come as dates and who don’t know many other people there so I’d feel badly sticking them at some random table. The other two are free to bring dates if they want, but they’re single. And we’re doing a “tuscan style” table which is basically a long rectangular table with us sitting on both sides rather than sitting at a round table like everyone else.
Post # 21
@smileyd: I’m curious why Fiance wants his parents to be at the head table. Does he want to interact with them or is it a way of honoring them?
From the times I’ve sat at the head table, I find it’s not very conducive to interacting with anyone other than the person directly to your right or left.
Post # 22
BF has said that he doesn’t want to have a head table, and I agree with him. I want to be out sitting with my guests, not up there for them all to stare at me loathingly while I eat food and they are still waiting for their dishes.
I kind of want to sit with my family and, since I know they girls who will likely be in my bridal party, won’t have really ever met each other, I don’t want them to have to sit next to each other making awkward conversation. I want them to be able to sit with their friends or their families as well. Sure we are al adults, but I’m a big softy. 😀
I also don’t plan on having a seating chart. I think that everoyne is capable of finding a place to sit. I don’t want to worry about who can’t sit by who and how close they should be to the bar/food/music/ex, etc. I’ll just reserve tables for family. Done and done. I think. Now I will probably stress about this at my still hypothetical wedding.
Post # 23
I am voting for the sweetheart table. It is so nice to murmur to each other and ‘take a break’ away from all of the greeting, hugging, thanking and everything to just have your very first meal together with your new hubby!
I am firmly against any kind of seating that separates the bridal party from their dates. I honestly would consider it a dealbreaker in the weddings I’d been in. To be honest, some of us BMs were soooo different from each other and just really didn’t socialize besides wedding stuff or small talk so it would be very uncomfortable to spend 4 hours having to talk to mostly only them. My sis had toyed with the idea and I told her that I would stand up there for a pic but I would bring my plate and drink to whatever table my bf (of 7 years) was sitting alone at (barely knew anyone at her wedding) to eat. I just would never dream of spending the entire reception/meal separated from my love. What’s the point of going with him? Luckily, they did a sweetheart table. I also hate the kind where they are all facing you so they can’t talk to anyone else except the person next to them and we all get to watch them chew, lol! I would be mortified to be seated up there! It kind of reminds me of Medieval Times…
In all the weddings I’ve ever been in, gone to, or the one I had:) I’ve never seen parents up there. Maybe its a regional thing, though. When my ex hubby and I did a seating arrangement his family was very, very difficult to seat because some weren’t speaking to others that would logically be seated together! So we did have to do several ‘important couple’ tables. It was very stressful.
Post # 24
@oracle: He says he’s always seen parents at head tables, he thinks it’s odd when they’re not.
Yes, I’m pretty sure it’s a regional thing. I’ve only seen it at a few weddings.
I always used to think that if parents paid or helped to pay for it then that would be the reason for their being up front, and weddings where they weren’t it was because the couple payed for the festivities themselves, which is true in our case.
I’m torn over what to do, Do what I envisioned originally, or bow to what my mom envisions, and my Fiance agrees is proper.
Post # 25
I didn’t have a real head table (it was a round table like all the others). I had my mad of honor/best man and his wife sit with us, plus two friends who fit best at that table because they knew the maid of honor and no one else.
Post # 26
Having parents at the head table is a very British thing. I’ve been to a few British weddings (and am marrying a Brit/Aussie myself!) and it is always the bride and groom (obviously), the Best Man, Maid/Matron of Honor, and both sets of parents. The rest of the bridal party is scattered throughout the room, sitting at the table they’d likely be sitting at if they were not a member of the bridal party. I love the idea and want to do it, even though we’re getting married in Wisconsin, but mom is totally against the idea as she doesn’t want everyone looking at her. I’ve still got time to convince her though! 🙂
Post # 27
We are doing a King’s table with our bridal party and their SO’s. It will be 14 people, but a King’s table has you sit on both sides instead of across one side, so it will actually only be 8 people across (we sit together, but then bridesmaids on my side with their SOs on the opposite, and GMs on his side with their SOs across). I worry that some of them will be faced away from the dance floor but it shouldn’t matter, right?
Post # 28
I know I’m totally in the minority here but I absolutely hate head tables. I just dont see how sitting in a line on one side of a table is personable. I also happen to really dislike it when couples dont sit wedding party members with their dates. I’ve been that date before and its so awkward sitting at a table with people you dont know.
With that said, we’re also not big fans of sweetheart tables. The way we see it, we’re going to be on display the entire day. We plan on only spending a few minutes at our table eating so I would like to maybe not have all eyes on us as we try to woof down our food. Because of this, we have decided to sit at an 8 person round table (just like every other table at our reception) with both sets of parents and FI’s brother (best man) and sister in law. Our wedding party and their dates (which happen to total 8 people) will be seated at the table next to ours.
Our parents we’re very excited and honored that we decided to sit with them instead of with our wedding party at a traditional head table.
Post # 29
We are having our parents, moh and best man at the head table. the rest of the bridal party will have a separate table
Also I always see the parents at the head table.
Post # 30
I’ve also never been to a wedding where the parents sat at the head table. We’re doing “tuscan style” too. We’re talkers so the side by side thing would just never work! Like you, we have a cap of 120, but we did a mock layout the other day and it looked really good! If anything, you could try something like that and have your parents etc spaced out along the table so that they’re not together…? That’s a tough situation (my bio parents have been divorced since I was 2, but generally get along ok, so I’ve been lucky so far). Hope you get it all figured out!
Post # 31
We’re just having our children with us at the head table. It will be our first dinner as an “official” family.