(Closed) Who’s changing their name?

posted 11 years ago in Names
  • poll: What last name will you have after you are married?

    Mine

    His

    A new combination of a name for both of us or we are both changing our names

    Hyphen or my middle name is my maiden name and his is my last name

  • Post # 47
    Member
    647 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I still haven’t decided, I am really torn.

    Post # 48
    Member
    1718 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

    I didn’t change mine, because I’m lazy! Also because Mr. Peng’s last name is 15 letters long and I can’t come to grips with it!!! I know that is a horrible reason… but engaging in a 5 min conversation about his last name every time it comes up is so, so annoying. I don’t have strong feelings on it either way. I’ll eventually change my name when I feel like going to the DMV and SS office (ugh, and UGH). It’s been over a year since we married!

    Post # 49
    Member
    74 posts
    Worker bee

    I am in a heated no discussing battle about this but I am sticking to my guns on this one.  I believe that this is a issue that will be worked out in pre marital counseling.

    I love my last name and I am working very hard to achieve a professional degree and that is my accomplishment and my father worked extremly hard so I could have the oppurtunities I needed. I feel like I should get to keep my last name. He wants his family “honored” by my taking his last name. Why what have they contributed to me? We don’t even get along.  Plus it is a real pain to change your name.

    I plan on doing the following and my Fiance will need to get on board since after all this is my name and his is just a pain because it is a weird spelling of a common name. I am not asking him to change his name and our kids will have his last name I just want to keep my name it is part of me. We live is housewife land so I would remain Mrs. hislastname socially but professionally I will be Dr. mylastname. My grandmother did this and it worked extremly well for her and still does – legally her name is her professional one but her married name serves as an alias on legal documents.

    Good luck to everyone this is a very hard decision.

    Post # 50
    Member
    674 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I’m going with his last name.

    My last name is German, no one can pronounce it or spell it, and his is very common. Plus my last name is my dad’s last name and he was a drunk who I haven’t seen since I was 10 so I don’t feel some tie with it except that it’s been my name for 21 years.

    Post # 51
    Member
    2280 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I plan on taking his last name and using my maiden name professionally. I like the idea of keeping my family life as private as possible, and I may want to take on a pseudonym for my writing anyway. The only thing I’ll regret losing are my initials: A.S.H., which are also the first three letters of my first name (derivation of Ashley). Clever parents, eh?

    Ironically, my future FIL’s initials are S.P.Y., but for some reason they gave my boyfriend an M middle name. Laaaaaame.

    Post # 52
    Member
    674 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    Oh yeah, like Minutiae, the one thing I’ll miss about my last name is 21 years of my initials being T.A.G.S. (my mom gave me two middle names)

    So I’ll miss that…but that’s it.

    Post # 53
    Member
    649 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2010

    I’m taking his with glee, because I’m thrilled to be united under his banner as a family. I never gave the question of name-changing much thought in the abstract, and I don’t think that my family will be upset if I don’t keep my name. My mother never changed hers – liking her maiden name much better – so in a weird way she’d probably be happy I changed it. It’s a unique name.

    Plus, it dawned on me while I’m reading this post that the reason I have no desire to hyphenate is because in our family tradition, children always receive two last names at birth, (parental) (maternal). So, my name won’t be lost after all 😉

    So, I plan to change it legally and use it that way in all social circles and correspondance, but professionally I’ll have to keep my maiden name for consistency and ease. But I like my new one better. 🙂

    Post # 54
    Member
    7081 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2009

    No change in last name here… just added his as another middle name.

    Post # 55
    Member
    2286 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    My Fiance will be changing his name and using mine because I didn’t want to change mine, he doesn’t want hyphens, and he’s not a huge fan of his father. It was a very easy decision for us.

    And just for point, I don’t think you’re a feminist sell out at all. Part of Feminism is recognizing that you have the power to make the choice, and you’ve chosen what is right for you. Kudos!

    Post # 56
    Member
    255 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    i’ve thought about keeping my last name… but only for a brief moment. Fiance has a hyphenated last name already, so adding mine onto it would just make it too long! i do however, joke that i’ll put my last name onto the end of his, which winds him up (hehehe) as really doesn’t sound that great, more cumbersome than anything…

    Post # 57
    Member
    11324 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I’m really torn on this. For a while I just assumed I’d keep my name… I am very very tied to my father/grandfather and I feel like I can’t just leave that name behind. Especially because I have several degrees and all of my colleagues know me by this name. However when it came up w/ the BF, he was appalled that I’d keep my name. He said that it was just weird and wrong for women to keep their names beccause it was like they weren’t a family or something. When I went to my friends to commisserate– they sided with him! lol. On further discussions though, when I outlined why I wanted to keep my name, he has softened and said that he did still want me to take his, but he wouldn’t argue if I kept my own.

    That being said, I do kind of like the idea of taking his name for the purpose of having a common family name, if we have kids, for social occassions, etc.

    Hyphenating is not an option because we both have long names and they don’t go together at all (It would be 6 syllables, a bit ridiculous). So, I think the two options I’m currently struggling with are eiher to just keep my last name, or to keep my last name as a second middle name and use it for business purposes only (so, socially i’d be known as myfirst hislast, but professionally i would go by myfirst mylast hislast).

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