Post # 1
So, my birthday came and went. My SO got me an incredibly expensive lens for my camera that I would have never expected. I couldn’t believe he had gone so over the top. However, as I opened what was probably the most thoughtful, and nicest gift anyone had ever given me, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of disapointment that it wasn’t the ring that I wanted. Of course then I felt incredibly guilty and unappreciative. Anyone ever been in the same boat??
Post # 3
@KoalaWalla: Yes, I have. The main thing is that you love and appreciate what he did choose for you…it’s a lovely gift, too. But yes, I have had that disappointment when I expected …maybe a ring…and my boyfriend gave me something else (that was wonderful, too)…
Post # 4
I think that is normal. I used to get excited and hope that he would surprise me with a ring, but with him, gifts are always really personal and he puts a lot of thought into them so it means a lot to me that he spent the time he did picking out gifts. By the time I got my ring I felt like it was a combination of all the gifts he picked out in one, since he found the perfect ring. Don’t feel bad…at least he is giving you great gifts while you are waiting for the ring…it could be worse if you were waiting and he gave you nothing or something terrible! (At least, that’s what I told myself sometimes, too).
Post # 5
I have felt totally guilty. It seems like no matter how hard I try, every holiday or special occasion that comes up, I am expecting it, and when it doesnt happen, I am always dissapointed. Its a vicious cycle lol and I cant just enjoy whatever is happening then.
Post # 7
Awww Its ok, Ive been on the same boat but not with my SO- with friends and family lol. and its ok! that doesnt mean that you dont appreciate what he got for you, you were just exptecting something else, and its perfectly fine to feel that way!
Did you later on how him that you appreciate what he got for you ?
Post # 8
I honestly love the lens!! I told him flat out that it’s the best gift I’ve ever recieved from anyone in my life. It was so incredibly thoughtful. We’re generally the type of couple who does a card, dinner, and a small gift in the under fifty dollar range for birthdays, so it was also incredibly unexpected. I just kind of thought he was getting close to being “ready.” This lens actually costs more than TWICE as much as the ring I want, so I know the hold off isn’t an issue of money. It’s an issue of not being ready, and the realization of this is a little disapointing. Especially since we had tenatively discussed a September or October 2012 wedding, and we’ve both agreed we would like to be engaged for at least a year.. I just don’t see a ring in my near future after he just made such a huge purchase, and it’s a little disapointing. Aaaaannnd then when I think these things I obviously feel like the worlds most ungrateful brat because I got this awesome gift which is something I’ve wanted for almost 5 years and I thought I’d never be able to afford, and instead of just being elated I’m thinking about how I would have been happier if it was a ring! argghh! lol. I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one out there who has felt this way though!!
Post # 9
@KoalaWalla: I was in the exact same situation as you! J got me a $1300 camera for my 31st birthday in August. I almost balled my eyes out! Although I was so appreciative, I was so disappointed that he didn’t use that money for a deposit on a ring, or at least saved it for a ring. But I just found out that he has put a deposit on a ring, so it must be on its way!
Maybe he’s trying to throw you off… Is that a possibility?
Post # 10
Awwwww… *hug* I totally understand what you mean but you know what, you know your SO better then anyone else so if you feel comfortable with talking to him, bring it up with him in a subtle way! like, talk to him about it without feeling pressuring!! Tell him that your not asking for him to propose tomorow or after- but that you really want to be married to him soon and that you feel that you might have to wait a while.
Post # 11
My birthday was two days ago and while my boyfriend got me incredibly gifts that I love to death, at the end of the night when I was putting everything away and getting ready for bed, I did find myself wishing that he had pulled the ultimate surprise and proposed. Also, our second anniversary was two months ago today and that whole day I was hoping he’d propose, and that day came and went with no ring. I do sometimes feel bad for feeling that way, when I should be happy for what I do have, but I really think it’s only natural, and I’m sure most women in our situation feel the exact same way. Sad but true.