(Closed) Who’s job is it? Calling in-laws on the phone?

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I am worried about this as well. We aren’t married yet, but future in laws will email or call occasionally saying they haven’t heard from SO in a while. They are very sweet people, but I would feel totally odd calling them out of the blue. I think we just need to light a fire under the men to get them to call more often!

Post # 4
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I don’t call my futue-in-laws just to chat, I leave that to SO. But I did just call his mom yesterday to ask her a question since we’ll be seeing them this weekend. Does that count?

Don’t feel guilty, I don’t think it’s really your “job” to call them. Darling Husband needs to step it up a bit too! He needs to keep in contact with his parents but I’m sure they’d love to hear from you too.

Post # 5
Member
2981 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Not really, no. Darling Husband talks to his dad frequently (they share a hobby so chat about it alot) and talks to his mom once in a while. I never really feel any pressure or a need to call them on the phone to chat. We’re just not that close.

Post # 7
Member
1425 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I don’t ever plan on calling Future Father-In-Law. We have a cordial relationship at best now and have never wanted to have a conversation with him by choice. So, I leave it to Fiance to call him and whether he does or not is his business. Luckily, Future Father-In-Law doesn’t complain if he doesn’t hear from us.

Post # 9
Member
1183 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

It’s DH’s job to call both of our parents.

I really hate the phone!!

Post # 10
Member
768 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree, I think it’s your SO’s job to keep in touch with his own parents. I call my own mom 50x a day, but I can’t imagine just calling up my FI’s mom just to chat. She lives locally though so I see her enough in person that I don’t feel the need to call her unless it’s specifically about something. 

Post # 11
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Funny you should mention this. My Future In-Laws just complained this weekend that I personally haven’t called them in x number of days. This made me laugh because I never had a history of calling them except on their birthdays. My Fiance calls his parents on a regular basis and I’ve always assumed that’s from the two of us. There’s also a significant language barrier with Future Mother-In-Law and somewhat with Future Father-In-Law. I’m also not really a phone person. but love texts and emails (and Future In-Laws do neither). To be fair, Future Father-In-Law are always dramatic like this to the point where Fiance and I just laugh it off.

I think I would handle all the non-verbal stuff that comes from both of you, e.g. Xmas cards/gifts, but I think it is also your FI’s responsibility to call them. Regardless, I would always present a united front so it’s not like you are the bad guy.

Post # 12
Member
3978 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Nope, I think I’ve called his mom or dad 2 or 3 times ever. We don’t just chat. It’s his job to call. His mom calls me sometimes but I detest talking on the phone and rarely answer for anyone.

Post # 13
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

This just reminded me I need to call SO’s grandma since she sent me a birthday card. Is it weird that I’m totally comfortable with this? Haha.

Post # 15
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@PinkMagnolia:  Maybe it’s just my Father-In-Law but I always feel like everything is up for the “Bad DIL” file. 😛 Even when Fiance balantly backs me up and accepts responsibility or whatever, it is still somehow my fault. They’re rather old-fashioned and dramatic so we just chalk it up to that. As long as Fiance doesn’t care, I’ve pretty much accepted it and moved on. Don’t get me wrong; Father-In-Law and I get along fine but on those occasions where they want to throw a fit, my Fiance always always always backs me up.

Post # 16
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My husband and I moved 2500 miles away from home a few years ago and I barely chat with my parents on the phone so my husband never finds it necessary to call him unless he needs to thank them for something.  They are okay with that!  We talk a lot but prefer to communicate via e-mail because seriously nobody in my family likes talking on my phone.  My husband is very busy with work most of the time and can get grumpy when his Mom calls so I talk to her once a week and keep her updated on stuff!  I don’t mind because she is really funny and we like to exchange stories about the people we have to deal with at work and whatnot.  

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