Post # 1
So FIL’s have offered to pay for the rehearsal dinner, but they are already traveling 4000km (airfare in Canada is not so cheap, especially because they are paying for Future Sister-In-Law and her husband to fly out as well) and paying for hotels. They are not all that well off, and we don’t want to burden them with such a cost. They are both retired and live on a fixed income.
We know we are supposed to invite bridal party and their partners, but are our FIL’s supposed to pay for the partners as well? What about a few out of town guests that will be there?
We were thinking of going to a restaurant, but if they are expected to pay for EVERYONE, it might just have to be a bbq.
Who paid for your rehearsal dinner and who did they pay for?
Post # 3
The hosts pay for everyone who is invited to attend.
Post # 4
Anyone at the rehearsal dinner should have their meal paid for, regardless of their role in the wedding.
Post # 5
Everyone invited to the rehearsal dinner should have a meal paid for. Nobody should have to pay and no one will expect to have to pay. Who pays for everything is entirely up to you. At ours, my husband’s parents paid for everything.
There are lots of options to live within your means, though. You and your fiance could chip in, or you could do partial (or full if you need to) cash bar, you could do a pizza party, bbq, whatever. The beauty of rehearsal dinners is you can have them as fancy or as casual as you want/can afford. Ask them how much they can feasibly do and go from there.
Side note: is your avatar April O’Neil? SO AWESOME.
Post # 6
@reginaphalange: Haha why yes it is. I was April O’Neil for Halloween and Fiance was Casey Jones.
Thanks everyone for your replies. I thought that was the answer, but when I researched it I couldn’t find a definitive answer. I am thinking that we will do a bbq because I don’t think FIL’s can realistically pay for 25 people’s meals and drinks, nor would I feel right about it. We will have to do something within their means like a bbq which is totally ok with us.
Post # 7
My ILs paid for everyone at the rehearsal dinner — And I feel this is how it should be. It doesn’t have to be something fancy… We had a “Pizza Buffet” from a favorite place of ours 🙂
Post # 8
Agree with PPs, all attendees should have their meals paid for by the host.
I understand where you’re coming from, my Fiance and I are already planning on taking care of the wine/drinks to help ease the financial burden of the meal on the Future In-Laws. Who knew rehearsal dinners could be such a pain!?
Post # 9
Agree with PPs that the hosts must pay for everyone’s meal. One way to cut costs would be to limit the dinner to wedding party and SOs, and not invite the Out of Town guests. It’s nice to include Out of Town guests when budget and space allow, but it is definitely not required.
Post # 10
I’ll echo the PP’s. The hosts pay for everyone. I would be mortified if I was invited to a Rehearsal Dinner as the SO of a Bridal Party member (phew, thats a lot of acronyms) and was asked to pay. If you can’t afford to feed all of these people then I’d choose a cheaper venue. Not inviting the SO’s is another option though personally not one that I’m a fan of.
Post # 11
‘host’ pays for everyone. We were having a similar problem. All of his family is from out of town, as well as one of my aunts and her families, who I haven’t seen in 10 years. No one has offered to pay for the dinner, although his mom gave us a check to use as we see fit. In the end we decided to order pizza from a local restaurant and have it taken to the rehersal location (we have to set up anyways). We can provide soda, beer and deserts a lot cheaper than if we were doing it from the restuarant. This way I don’t feel guilty about having to turn all the OTTers away and the people who offered to help us set up.
Post # 12
My in-laws hosted the rehearsal dinner, paying for all meals.
Post # 13
I agree with everyone else in that the host should pay for all meals. One thing you might be able to do to cut down on costs is try a BYOB place and bring your own wine? that way they only have to pay for soft drinks.