(Closed) Who’s NOT doing a bouquet/garter toss and what is your reasoning?

posted 11 years ago in Reception
Post # 47
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

Out of many weddings I have attended in my lifetime, I have only ever seen a bouquet toss twice and a garter toss once. The reasoning behind skipping those was because the couple didn’t want to do them, which is fine. The guests in question were happy to not have to participate. When there was a bouquet or garter toss, only the kids were participating because the adults didn’t want to. No one should ever be forced or guilted into doing something they don’t want to, whether as a bride/groom or a guest.

I was at a wedding just this last weekend where they skipped the tosses and no one questioned anything. The bride didn’t even wear a garter. Everything else was traditional though, not that that makes any difference.

For my own wedding, I don’t have any desire to do a bouquet toss and there might only be one girl who wants to participate which doesn’t make it worth my time. I don’t want to sit through the garter toss and I know our guests don’t either. FH doesn’t care either way. For what it’s worth, I get uncomfortable as it is watching them on Youtube videos, never mind real life.

 

Post # 48
Member
42 posts
Newbee

almost immediately after the mister proposed we started discussing wedding plans, and the number one was NO GARTER TOSS. at the last wedding we went to there was a 16 and 15 yr old couple with the boy taking the garter off with his teeth!!

we think we can easily get away with it, because we are having a lunch reception in atlantic city, so it isn’t what people are used to, anyway.

as for the bouquet toss, im not even sure if i am having a bouquet…but if i do, i love the suggestion i read on here of the ‘generation dance’ giving it to the longest married couple…too cute! i love it.

Post # 49
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

We are not…it’s classless

Post # 50
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2010

hands down most uncomfortable moments at weddings. i’m SO not going there.

Post # 51
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2011

We’re not doing it.  Most of our friends are married or are in relationships.  Everyone always seems shy or embarrassed to come up to catch the bouquet except for little girls so I’ll just save everyone from all the anguish.  Maybe we’ll do a little game with the bouquet.  I’ve been to weddings where all married couples are brought up to the stage and then one by one newly-married couples leave until the longest married couples remains and gets the bouquet.  I think it’s a cute idea so I’m contemplating that.  

Post # 52
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I HATE the boquet toss (sorry if that’s a little strong.  As a little older birde, it was aweful to be surrounded by kids 10 years younger than me trying to catch it.  My sister-in-law chucked her’s at me which was kind of funny, but started the whole do’nt worry it’ll be your turn soon thing since she was marrying my younger brother.  Most of my friends are married and my one single bridesmaid has thanked me profously for not having the boquet toss.  I think I’m going to do the anniversary dance.  My fiance’s grandparents will be the longest married there and I can give the toss boquet to his grandmother, and its her birthday too.

Post # 53
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

We’re not doing it. I always hated it as a guest and it doesn’t make sense. No one feels comfortable doing it and most of our friends are married anyway, so it would be about 3 of FI’s cousins and a few “ladies in waiting” friends of ours… not cool. 

Post # 54
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: May 2010

We aren’t. There are literally only 2 girls who aren’t engaged/married, so there is really no point for the boquet toss.

Also, the fiance is rather shy, so he doesn’t want to do the garter. We just think it would be awkward in front of everyone. We just don’t see a need for it, and I don’t want to toss my boquet to anyone! haha

Post # 55
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

No single ladies – and all the single men are super skeevy so I wouldn’t want to impose that on anyone anyway!

Post # 56
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2010

There will be one single lady who I would hate to “single” out (hee hee) and I have no desire to have a garter taken off in front of our guests.  It was an easy decision for us!

Post # 57
Member
2828 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Definite no to the garter toss, too um, inappropriate imo. Haven’t decided on the bouquet toss as of yet, but probably not, since I plan on diy’ing my bouquet, I probably won’t feel like just tossing it.

Post # 58
Member
1188 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

We didn’t do it.  We just kind of felt like a lot of people don’t anymore, and we weren’t too attached to those traditions.  Also, we didn’t want to interrupt the party to do them; we much preferred dancing the night away with our guests.

Post # 59
Member
2777 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

No to both. Firstly because we don’t believe our friends would love being singled out as the “single folk who either want to get lucky or desperately want to get married” and secondly because we’re just having a very casual reception so we didn’t want it to get too confusing for people.

Post # 60
Member
3315 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

At my first wedding, we had both.  The women competed to catch the bouquet.  The men competed not to catch the garter.  It was… uncomfortable.

This time around, I did not like the idea that everyone should be competing for who should next get married.  Plus, we had an intimate ceremony.  The only single men there, for example, were my ex-husband and my son.  I really did not relish the idea of throwing a garter to either one of them.

We gave one of the two bouquets (it was a same-sex wedding) to my former sister-in-law, who was the only person who lived in the area.  We gave the other to the staff of the synagogue where we were married.  We left our garters on.  When we got home, NotFroofy kept her garter as a souvenir, and I sold mine.

Post # 61
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

View original reply
@azula:

 

Hi,

 

I see a lot of you gals did an Anniversary dance which I think is an interesting idea however for me that might not work.  For sure my parents would win (married over 60 + years), my Mom is really allergic to any flowers that smell (I was assured mine do not) and, also my Mom is very ill and not sure she can even get up and dance.  I was thinking that it would also look fixed so as much as I like the idea, have nothing to replace the idea with.

 

By the way, I am 60 yrs young and Fiance just turned 63.

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