Post # 32
I voted the second option, although I’m not sure it fits us. Our “oddities”:
- We’re having two weddings in one weekend
- Since we have two weddings, we’ve got two rehearsal dinners & our rehearsals are a different take than the traditional: only invites to participants in the wedding & their SO/kids
We’re paying for 97% of our weddings & receptions; each set of parents is paying for one Rehearsal Dinner. Both sets of parents could contribute & have generously offered to do so. But we declined for a few reasons:
- This is the first step in our married life together & planning it, budgeting for it, & discussing how to spend the budget seemed like a GREAT opportunity to practice being married.
- We REALLY like doing things our own way…paying for the wedding seemed like the best way to ensure being free to do that
- His parents are FAR more well-off than mine, and I know my parents wish they could do as much for me/us as his can, so I didn’t want them to feel like they had to match money…so we didn’t ask EITHER to contribute
But, to keep them from trying to find ways to contribute (& subsequently try to use their contributions to guide the vision of the wedding), after numerous offers from each set, we suggested they each host an Rehearsal Dinner…this is affordable for my parents, equal in contribution, & each set gets to run it how they want without messing with our wedding vision. Plus, it’s two less things for Fiance & I to plan! Everybody wins.
Edit: just wanted to add that Fiance & I are LOVING planning the wedding together & actually enjoying the budgeting & alocating money. On at least a weekly basis, Fiance comments that this is fun & he’s proud of what we’re creating. So I just wanted to share the ridiculously happy couple who are are enjoying their financial freedom. (did I mention that we’re not going into debt for the wedding either? So happy about that too!)
Post # 33
@walkunafraid wow thats a pretty penny…have you ever asked them about helping out?
@ des_salazar im sorry to hear about your mom : (
@carmel bride Oh good! yes let them help haha at least your paying for your car (blah car payments)
@Soon2bMrsWheeler its nice to know people : )
@ms.pascua your go girl lol its so nice that a Fiance who loves planning with you…And about the debt omg I could not imagine going into debt over a wedding if the funds are not in my bank account im def not using a credit card or taking out a loan so kudos on that too : )
Post # 34
Combination. My parents gave us a set $3000. His parents offered to pay for the rehersal dinner.
We paid most of the rest. My mom kicked in on some decor things and ingredients and baking for our cookie table. I think she bought some candy for the candy buffett. My Aunt also contributed to the cookie buffett and bought my clutch. Aunt let me some of jewerly.
FI’s parents ended up buying the grooms cake as it was an ethnic cake related to their ethnicity. They also ended up paying the wine bill since our rehersal cost much lesss than his brother’s had two years before. His older brother who was overseas and couldn’t make it picked up the tab for the Keg.
So it was some of everybody, but majority us, the couple. I don’t know our total budget yet, I never added it all up, but I think between 10,000 and 13,000 excluding honeymoon and e-ring.
Post # 36
We’re paying for 90% of it ourselves. My mother paid for my dress, and my Future In-Laws are paying for the flowers. We were not really expecting either of them to offer, but are so grateful!
Post # 37
We’re covering EVERYTHING and I’m starting to freak out a little about the cost!!!
Post # 38
we’re paying for our own but my generous parents are providing the honeymoon and my dress. they want to help with more but aren’t sure they will be able to. i’m THRILLED to have that!
we didn’t expect anyone to help and will not ask for it. we want to have the party, so we’re going to throw it!
Post # 39
Our ceremony site and musicians were free but we had to pay for our reception. FIL’s are paying for the rehearsal dinner and honey moon. And my family offered to pay for some of the details.We are praying God will meet our financial needs for our wedding. I have a baby sitting job and my Fiance just does side jobs.
Post # 41
We are. I would say its more a proud thing for me. Basically, if I can’t afford something, I don’t get it. (Meaning everything, not just wedding) I was raised that way. I wonder what it would be like if I didn’t pay for my wedding? It probably wouldnt be my wedding, there would be too much outside drama. hahaa 🙂
Post # 42
We are paying for everything with the exception of our wedding cake and a $500 donation from a family member. Its okay with us because we don’t like to ask others for help.
Post # 43
- Wedding: May 2011 - Bartram's Garden
The boy and I are paying for most of the wedding. His parents are going to contribute some and my mom is going to buy my dress and pay just for the extra guests that she’s insisting we invite.
Post # 44
My parents are buying my dress and my Fiance parents are paying for the suit hires but other than that we are paying for everything ourselves. I wouldnt want my parents paying for everything to be honest, me and my Fiance earn more than them so it would seem wrong for us to ask them to pay.
Post # 45
We are having a really small and intimate wedding semi-destination in Santa Barbara for around 10 to 15 people. My parents bought my dress and want to pay for the reception. I feel a little bad about them paying for stuff since they are coming from Canada. We’ll be paying for the photograph, flowers and hotel rooms for everyone coming and we’re planning a dinner party with friends in LA. The whole immigration thing is costing us lot of money, but waiting that long makes you want to have a nice party to celebrate afterward.
Post # 46
You need a button for “Splitting costs between FI/me and parents” !!!