- 9 years ago
- Wedding: April 2013
I just want to say thank you for everyone who responded so far, I really like hearing about everyons situation. It’s amazing how everyone is differnt. You all should feel truley blessed that your families are so generous.
The most embarassing thing happened to me when my Fiance and I told my father we were getting married. He asked when, and we said 2 years, since having to save etc. and he was like “having to save? isn’t the brides parents supposed to pay for everything? … oh wait, thats in (some culture, cant remember what he said)… im glad I’m not them!!”
I was so embarrassed I just wanted to die, but I tried my hardest to chuckle it off..
We paid for 100% of it except I asked my uncles & brother if they would provide the live music for the ceremony (we come from a VERY musical family) and my brother is a professional DJ & he took care of that aspect – so while it wasn’t an outright financial contribution it definitely saved us some money.
I put %100 my parents but thats not entirely true. We will be paying for different things and wedding rings. But mostly my parents.
As of right now, it’s pretty much us but we did get some help. My grandma gave me $200 out of the blue for wedding stuff. My father will be giving me the $200 to pay for my dress. And fmil made the linens for the reception tables and dd’s flower girl dress. She’s also making ds’s ring bearer outfit and bought me my bridal day jewelry (earrings and necklace)… all those saved me money.
And when I say we, it will be me. Fi and I decided that I would go ahead and pay for the wedding. I just got a pt job 3 days a week (was a ft sahm before). I only got the job to help with wedding expenses so now all my money from the job will go to the wedding and fi will handle all other bills. It’s working great this way. Not sure if we’ll get anymore help from anyone but the little help we got so far has been unexpected and great. I do wish I had parents that could (or would) help but it is life and being an adult and it being my wedding, I am fine with my decision to have this wedding and pay for it ourselves. So while my father could help if he wanted, I m thankful for the $200 since afterall, he didn’t have to give me a dime.
We expected nothing from anyone but was surprised when my parents gave us a set amount, which was half of our original budget, when all is said and done (we finished paying for everything yesterday) we are nearly $2000 over so we paid a bit more.
We got no help from FIs family and didn’t expect it however I do get upset every time I mention the wedding Future Mother-In-Law bringing up wishing she could have helped out like my mum did – I know she doesn’t mean to sound “woe is me” but I have to keep assuring her we get it and don’t expect help from her.
BUT I will say even with the help I too get annoyed when people complain about the amounts their parents pay, or talk about how expensive their wedding was when they had to pay less than 10% or so of the final bill… Just smile and say “yes we were lucky x and y helped” 🙂
NOTE: mum’s donation to me is a “secret” as she doesn’t want my bro to know – she already has the money sitting and waiting for his wedding and will give it to him when he proposes like when I got it. Her reasoning – bro (younger) has never had a “surprise” because I got things at a certain milestone he got it at the milestone but 2 years later etc… <—- mums can be weird hehehe
My Mom gave 5k, Dad gave 5k, and his Dad gave 2k. We paid the rest.
My parents paid for the whole wedding, his parents the rehearsal dinner. My mom also had a seperate budget for my dress and for wedding planners. We had money left over from my parents that covered our rings. We paid for our honeymoon. We are very blessed to have such generous parents.
just me and Fiance. we got nothing from either parents (even though FI’s brother got $20,000 for his wedding).
We only have one parent between us, and she is financially unable to help.
When my dad passed away last year I received an unexpected life insurance benefit…so while I said it’s all me and Fiance paying, really it’s Dad. Bittersweet 🙂
My mom paid the majority, almost for the whole wedding. My father paid a little and my in laws contributed next to nothing. My fiance and I did not pay for it, as it is in my culture and religion.
Fiance and I are paying for the wedding 90% alone. My mother is helping a little bit by purchasing things for the bridal shower and hosting the rehearsal dinner. Though FI’s parents are well off, they aren’t heping pay. My parents gave me the choice of them paying for the wedding or putting a deposit down on our first home… I chose the house over 1 day. Plus, my mom can be a bit pushy and controling. If she held the purse strings, I wouldn’t get a chance to have the wedding I want.
We are paying for everything ourselves(and since I make more, it’s really me paying for majority of things). My parents would love to help, but financially just cannot(and I would never expect that of them). His parents haven’t offered, but I know they spent about 10k for his sister’s wedding. But we aren’t expecting them to pay for anything. His mom did offer to buy my dress if I wanted one outside of my budget, but I graciously declined. I wouldn’t be surprised if they did give us some money for our honeymoon but we aren’t expecting it.
It is what it is. Sure I would love to come from a family that could financially afford to pay for things, who wouldn’t? But that just isn’t where I come from. I have to say though, I’m not that upset to pay for everything. Means family cannot tell us what we can or cannot do with our wedding. Our money, our day, our way….that is my motto regarding our wedding.
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