(Closed) Who's walking you down the aisle?

posted 4 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 16
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

My dad passed away when I was 14. I’m giving myself away. My mom, whom I love, is getting typical MOB duty. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 17
Member
365 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

S2BMRS.DASCH:  When I got married, I couldn’t imagine being “given to a man” lol I love my dad and my mom, and they were both there, but I just couldn’t do it. There is something I can’t stand about being led and given away. Then I read about this tradition in another country where the bride AND the groom walk down the aisle together!! That was it! Perfect!

That is exactly what we did, and my husband was just saying the other day that it was the perfect way to do it for us ๐Ÿ™‚ We both got to walk by our families and towards the officiant who was going to marry us. It just makes sooo much sense to us!

Good luck with your choices! I’m sure you will find a way that feels right for you!

Edit: I should mention that we didn’t have bridesmaids and groomen, which made it easier to do that.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by  soupir.
Post # 18
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: April 2016

my dad will walk me down the aisle , he did that too for my cousin on her wedding – and  I have seen some weddings both mom/dad and even with their brothers/sisters walk down the aisle together – and it worked very well, it was lovely and emotional – It is very up to you, maybe you can try multiple options on your rehearsal day (or even before) and see what works for you ! good luck ! 

Post # 19
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Le Kliff Puerto Vallarta

My dad isn’t in my life either, and while I’m very close with my stepdad my older brother will be walking me down the aisle ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 20
Member
2064 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

soupir:  I thought the exact same thing as you, I hated the idea of being given away. So I suggested walking in with my partner. He said he liked the idea of us coming in separately and leaving together as one (even though we’ve lived together for nearly 5 years but whatever) so that was a no to walking in together. So he will be walked down the aisle by both of his parents and I will walk down with both of mine. 

OP you can do whatever you want. If you think your aisle might not be wide enough, don’t worry as there’s always a solution but maybe look at your ceremony space and visualise if it will work.

Post # 21
Member
365 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

loz24:  Awww I’m happy that you guys found a good compromise though! If he is also being walked, I think it’s fair! I like that too! I think it’s cute what he said about arriving separately and leaving as one lol I’m glad that my husband agreed to walk together, but I think the way you guys agreed on is also very nice!! ๐Ÿ™‚ And I love the fact that both parents will walk with each of you. That is also fair lol

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by  soupir.
Post # 22
Member
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I (like other posters) find the giveaway apect to be a bit ugh, so my Fiance and I are walking down the aisle together.

Even if you don’t dislike the symbolism, I think choosing that could clear up concerns about choosing who is your most father-like person.

A bit of a tangent, but that’s part of the reason I so dislike so many of these traditions. The father of the bride is supposed to do X, the bride’s family is supposed to do y, etc. They force people to feel like they have to declare explicitly what their relationships are and how they prioritize people. It’s particularly tough, for example, on people who have strained (but not toxic) relationships with their fathers, but stronger relationships with other men. Any choice forces them to make the rank-ordering of these relationships explicit, which I think only hurts relationships. I’d like us to do away with them altogether.

Post # 23
Member
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

My dad isn’t in my life either. I have a step dad and a younger brother but would it be okay if I just had my mom walk me down? Every time I mention to my family that I want just my mom walk me down they seem hesitant and suggest somebody else do it like my grandpa.

My reasoning is that if anyone was allowed to “give me away” (I also have a hard time with that concept) it would be the person I am closest with (other than my future hubby) which is my mom who basically raised me and my brother alone and who is one of my role models. I don’t know…we are getting married in my fiancee’s childhood church and I know how important tradition is to him and his family but it’s also my wedding and the person I will be walking down with. What should I do?

 

Post # 24
Member
494 posts
Helper bee

My 5 year old twins will be walking with me down the aisle. I wouldn’t want it any other way. We are a family and all are in this journey together. 

I agree with a previous poster that mentioned walking with your 2 uncles half way and having your mother take you to the end. Sounds so nice and I’m sure they would all feel they played a great part of the ceremony.

Post # 25
Member
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

My dad! 

I’m thinking of asking my mom too though! I’m the last one to get married and I know she’s really looking forward to it! ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 26
Member
543 posts
Busy bee

Hopefully both my dad and my step-dad will walk me. They are both in my life. My stepdad treats me just like I am his own kid, always has. And he won’t have this opportunity with anyone else, as there are no other daughters. It feels right to me.

Post # 27
Member
697 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016 - Akron, OH

I’ve considered my grandfather if  relationship with my dad didn’t improve. My grandfather was the one who taught me how to drive, he was there for me when my mom and I needed help. If my dad feels have hurt bout the situation, I might just have both rather than choosing between the two. I’m not sure yet though! 

Post # 30
Member
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

S2BMRS.DASCH:  thank you for the advice! It really is hard to please everyone. 

I just researched  more about the tradition of who walks you down the aisle and it included that having just your mom is a popular option (as well as grandparents, step family members, uncles, siblings, and such). But I have never heard of a wedding where the mom just walked the bride down – I always hear/see either both parents, just the dad, alone, or another man. 

Has anyone on here heard about or seen a wedding that just had a female figure walk the bride down the aisle?

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