(Closed) Who’s With Me?

posted 8 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I am sorry for your loss.

I totally know what you are talking about. I try to find something I already have first, just because I know I will never be able to wear it again.

Post # 4
2006 posts
Buzzing bee

Ok I’ll be honest, at 22 years old I have never had to attend a funeral. There have been a few very distant family friends’ funerals but I never attended those (usually too young).

I can imagine what an awkward and unusual situation it would be shopping for an outfit to wear to that occasion however :/

Post # 5
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I haven’t been to a funeral in over ten years (knock on wood), and the family requested everyone wear purple, because it was their favourite colour, and they thought black was too sad looking.

Post # 6
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Wow! babyboo, luck you that you have never had to attend a funeral.  That is very fortunate.

lilyfaith, I’m so sorry for your loss.  To me, picking out an outfit for a funeral is usually really difficult because I hate the typical black, bleak aesthetic of a funeral.  I don’t want people to be miserable and somber at my funeral.  Believe me, I know it’s hard to deal with the fact that you’re never going to see a loved one again, but I really do think everyone would be better off not emphasizing their pain at a funeral and instead celebrating the life lived by the person (of course this can be hard if it’s the funeral of a small child, etc.).  So I usually try to wear color, but of course want it to be seen as respectful by the immediate family of the person whose funeral I am attending.  When my ex-boyfriend died a few years back, I wore a light blue dress to his wake and a navy skirt and light blue top to his funeral.  I thought that was respectful enough, and encouraged all his friends to similarly wear color (I knew that was what he’d want), but of course his very conservative fundamentalist Christian relatives threw daggers at me with their eyes throughout the entire event.  It’s a hard balance to strike, I guess.  In that case, I never wore those outfits again…they had too much baggage.  But I did buy them with the thought that I could wear them again.  They were tasteful, but not dowdy, for sure.  I get what you mean about the difficulty of funeral attire shopping.

Again, sorry for your loss.

Post # 8
2561 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@lilyfaith: I can totally relate – and salespeople can be so insensitive. When one of my good friends was killed in Afghanistan I was really broken up, I couldn’t bear to go through my closet and pick something to wear, so I tried going shopping – I went into a store that I shop at frequently, and asked the sales girl to bring me black dresses in my size – as I was trying them on she asked me if I wanted to try on something more cheerful since it was spring time – I started bawling, and choked out that it was for a funeral. Poor girl felt bad, but I thought I could manage shopping without crying … 

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