Whose family for the holidays?

posted 9 months ago in Holidays
Post # 16
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2017 - France

My family lives in another country and my husband can’t enter the country so we only even visit with his family. 

Post # 17
239 posts
Helper bee

Our immediate families are local, my extended family is a 3 hour plane ride away or a 5 hour drive away. 

We go see my farthest away extended family in early November. 

We do Thanksgiving with my extended family that is a 5 hour drive away. It’s the only holiday they get together so that’s a non-negotiable for me. This year I cooked a Thanksgiving dinner for both our immediate families the Saturday after, that was nice so I think I’ll continue to do that every year.

We spend Christmas Eve with my parents and then spend Christmas morning with my DH’s parents. Currently we do Christmas dinner at his brother’s house but once we have kids I’m going to push for a quiet evening at home together vs spending all day out. I hate being away from home all day on Christmas and we can’t bring our dog to either of their houses so it sucks for him too. 


Post # 18
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

You and your boyfriend should talk and decide what’s best for you. There are no rules. If you want to be with your family and he wants to go to the movies that’s just fine. It’s just another holiday…

We just always go snowboarding on both thanksgiving and Christmas. I don’t think we’ve ever spent one of these holidays with family. I think it’s boring force-hanging-out with family and my husband doesn’t care either I believe. Plus we both think that turkey is the worst meat out there. Poor things die to taste awful. 😉

Post # 19
9815 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Why can’t you go to your family’s for Christmas day and he go to the movies and then join you when he’s done?  I don’t think you are required to spend every waking moment together on Christmas day.

We usually go to my parents for christmas day (well, usually we are there before then as well) and if my husband wanted to go to the movies in the afternoon with a friend/brother/whoever I would tell him to go (we have 2 kids).

FWIW we do have 2 kids and the past 3 years (including this year) have spent Christmas Eve-Christmas at my parents (since we went from 1 to 2 kids).  For one, his parents are divorced.  Neither has a big enough house for us to stay in, both are still working, and both require 6+ hours of driving to the middle of nowhere so it is not a day trip. And I don’t want to drive that way to spend 3/4 of my time in a hotel in a town of 75-200 people.  My parents are one hour away, both retired, and take on a lot of kid-watching so we get a break.  House is baby-gated and they have things like baby shampoo, hair ties, kid bandaids, children’s advil, a crib, etc so I don’t have to drag as much stuff.  Plus 2 rooms for us.  I think my husband likes it because he doesn’t have to do as much work lol.  Otherwise, we alternate other “christmases”.  So this year and last we went for a non-Christmas weekend in December to meet his mom/siblings to celebrate then.  My extended family also does a Christmas every year (not on Christmas) and depending on where it is we might go to that instead (we went just last year so not going this year).  We did Christmas in February once for his dad.  Both of his parents are welcome to come visit us and stay whenever they want (pending us being gone or something else like that) and his mom usually stays with us every 3 months or so.  His mom tries, but it is hard to get 4 kids (3 married) together on one day. My brothers are single and live about 2 min from my parents so they just stop in while we are there.  

Post # 20
886 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Currently, we do Thanksgiving with my husbands family and Christmas with my family. This works out well as we live close to my husband’s family, and have to fly to visit my family for Christmas. I’m not sure how much longer this tradition will continue, as we have a 1.5-year-old and another on the way. 

Don’t base now based on what will happen in the future when/if you have kids. Cross that bridge when you come to it. 

Post # 21
641 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I’d rather eat rats than spend a holiday with my Mother-In-Law but barring her doing something so incredibly horrid that my husband decides her year needs to get skipped (she’s supposed to get every other year because my family gets one holiday, his gets the other but, divorces and drama lead to every other year for her ideally)  I suck it up, have a drink or ten and deal with it because I love him and that’s what you do. Go watch a movie and when you have kids invite his dad to watch them open presents with your traditional Christmas. 

Post # 22
2270 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Luckily his family celebrates Christmas on Christmas Eve so we go there for Christmas Eve then to my families house on Christmas Day. Chirstmas has never been an issue for us but Thanksgiving is every year. We take turns but go back adn forth every year over whose turn it is. ugh! 

Post # 23
936 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

We do three separate celebrations – his mum/stepdad, his dad, my parents. This year we will be doing Christmas morning at my parents, Christmas dinner with his dad, and Boxing Day dinner with his mum. It’s a bit tricky since his sister has a young baby and doesn’t want to travel much (understandably), and also his mum/stepdad have to coordinate with the step-siblings and their spouses and kids. I think this is going to change when we have kids though and we will likely do Christmas morning on our own.

Post # 24
70 posts
Worker bee

On Christmas, FH and I do morning with his fam (8 am til noon), then afternoon with mine (12:30-4). This year Christmas was hosted by us at our new apartment (first place together) for his fam, then we went to my grandma’s for my family Christmas.

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