(Closed) Whose name do you generally write first?

posted 8 years ago in Names
  • poll: Whose do you put first (on letters, etc.)?
    I usually put mine first : (49 votes)
    40 %
    I usually put his first : (36 votes)
    29 %
    It varies : (37 votes)
    30 %
    Obligatory "other" : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2066 posts
    Buzzing bee

    If I’m writing something form both of us, I put my name first – because I’m writing the note.  I did put his name first on our photo Christmas card.

    Post # 4
    Member
    10287 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    We’re not married yet but when we are, his name will go first for everything. Thats just how married couples around here do it. Since we’re only engaged right now, depending on who the card/gift is being sent to, determines whos name goes first. For example:

    • Card/gift is to a member of my family or my friends: My name goes first
    • Card/gift is to a member of his family or his friends: His name goes first
    • Card/gift is to a mutual friend: His name goes first
    • Pre-printed holiday cards: His name goes first

    Post # 5
    Hostess
    18637 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    @UpstateCait: I write in a similar way except that mine goes first on a card to a mutual friend (and we have never done pre-printed cards).

    Post # 6
    Member
    336 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    When Fiance and I were first starting to be addressed as a couple, I was living with with his family, so generally we’d hear things like, “What are (his name) and (my name)’s plans?” etc. Naturally his family will say his name first. So it just kind of stuck that way. Fine by me. =]

    Post # 7
    Member
    732 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2010 - The Tower Club

    When I wrote my correspondence before the wedding, I always thought that the bride’s name should go first, so that is how I wrote it, regardless of who it was addressed to.

    I thought it was supposed to be reversed after marriage, but the etiquette lady at the place I ordered my invitations says that the man’s name should go second, because he is keeping his original name intact. ie., Mary and David Smith. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    7975 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    When writing our names, I write his first, but when signing (like on thank you notes), I sign mine first.

    Weird, huh?

    We also got into an “argument” the other day about whose name people naturally say first – I think his, and he thinks mine!

    Post # 9
    Member
    441 posts
    Helper bee

    I always sign my name first out of force of habit. My husband always signs his first. When we were going through the cards from our wedding, I wondered whose name people put first more often. Like, did people who know me better put my name first, and vice versa? I don’t remember the results of our experiment, but neither one of us really cares whose name comes first.

    Post # 10
    Member
    641 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I usually write my name first, but that’s usually because any correspondence that is done through the mail is usually done through my friends and family.  This year, we only sent two Christmas cards to friends/family of his.  On the card for the mutual friend, I signed my name first.  On the card for a close family friend of his (that was also thanking them for an engagement gift they sent through his parents), I put his name first.

    I have no clue how we will handle thank you notes when we get married! I will cross that bridge when I get there!

    Post # 11
    Member
    2271 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    I WAS putting is name first and then my Mother-In-Law told me it is more “proper” to put the woman’s name first. This confused me as when one uses titles, it’s Mr. & Mrs. right?

    Post # 12
    Member
    2299 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    We’re both very traditional and old fashioned so his name always goes first. We do the sam thing when addressing cards to couples too. I guess it’s the old, “the man’s the head of the household so they should be first” type thing.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1235 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    It depends on who I am writing it for and whether or not I want to see Kristen Shef toegther. If I do then it is his name first! lol

    Post # 14
    Member
    9053 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I generally do his name first, but come to think of it on all our wedding correspondence, mine was first.

    Post # 15
    Member
    2373 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2008

    I’ve always gone alphabetically- his name starts with “A” so he’s always been first (plus, I kept my maiden name so there’s never [name] and [name]. It’s [first last]/[First Last]

    Post # 16
    Member
    2829 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Generally when signing xmas cards or the like (anything from the family etc) I write his name first, then our sons, then mine — regardless of who the card is going to (his family, or ours, doesn’t really matter).

    Now, this is more of a silly neurosis than a traditional thing (for me), I just feel ..out of place signing my name first if I am signing for everyone, I feel like it would be me going “yay me! look at me signing up a card! you know I was the one who really signed this, right? cant you tell because I put MY name first!”   hahah but I am admittedly quite a spaz, so yeah, absolutely nothing wrong with signing your name first if you are the signer, but I am just weird.

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