- 8 years ago
- Wedding: November 1999
If you’re at a traditional venue, you usually get a pro as part of your package. Or they require you to bring one.
I don’t buy that it’s “key”. We had 165 guests who were invited to 3 days of events at an outdoor venue where we had to bring in everything but tables, chairs, and restrooms. It came together perfectly without a planner / coordinator, or even a day-of coordinator. (Although we did have a great army of family and friends to help!)
I would have loved to have a coordinator, but it wasn’t in the budget. Came out fine anyway. Sounds like this wedding was just poorly planned.
I don’t buy that a planner is key. Almost all of those things can be researched and should be commone sense. We managed to host a wedding with 200 guests and pulled it off without a hitch. Maybe in this case it may have been more important and she clearly had the budget for it, however, it most cases I don’t think it’s in the budget and the couple should be able to figure these things out for themselves.
i had a day-of coordinator for my wedding, but otherwise pulled the whole thing together on my own with no helo or assistance from my DOC. I just researched the heck out of everything!!
I do think this post is good as in a warning….think and read your contracts before acting!
I still think it’s key. I’m sad that I didn’t have the budget for a full on planner. Our wedding was lovely and everyone dug it, but I know the difference between a professionally planned wedding and not and there are small things I wish I had had a planner for. (Nothing like this debacle.)
This is exacty why I hired a full time planner local to my destination. ugh. Nightmare.
@hellosteinberg: While not everyone who plans their own wedding will make such silly mistakes, I do wish it had been in my budget to have one, just to make the planning process less stressful and the day-of run more smoothly.
Our 100 guest, 6,000 wedding was lovely, almost everything went as planned, and a lot of guests said it was the best wedding, with the best planned ceremony, and atmosphere, that they had been to. However, I know it could have been, like 10-20% better if someone had helped me anticipate some little things and been able to coordinate day-of.
I DID have a day-of coordinator, but she was a family friend, and honestly, was kinda useless. :-/ She tried, but in hindsight she wasn’t the best choice for that job!
Some brides are great at planning huge events and some not so much, it stinks that the brides ultimatly have to throw a huge coordinated party and if it goes wrong, its the brides fault. Think about it, when do normal people ever orchestrate parties as big as a weddings are and are supposed to come off perfect on a brides first time? Brides sometimes do not equal= Event planners
Our planner is the best money we’ve spent this entire wedding.
plus planner is not in the budget of people…
I considered a planner or DOC, but in the end, I put together our 200-guest wedding basically single handedly, and while it wasn’t without minor hiccups, everything went just fine and guests were happy. That said, I knew better than to take chances with anything outdoors (at least anything that didn’t have a 100% acceptable back up plan), food and booze were package deals and plentiful, and I thought of everything from a guest’s perspective (and turned down several venues that weren’t very guest-friendly).
I mean, did we spend more money than we would’ve with a coordinator? Maybe by a few bucks, but I doubt a coordinator’s negotiating would’ve been all that much better than mine to end up a net savings, but I also negotiate for a living and quite literally teach courses on it. We went with reputable vendors we’d seen in action before at other weddings, and no regrets.
A lot of the OP’s bride’s issues could’ve been pre-empted by someone looking at her plans and going “really? Are you sure that’s wise?” It probably should’ve been her Fiance, honestly, unless they both totally lack any empathy or foresight. Bottom line advice from me is look at every single part of your wedding from the POV of an obligatory-invite guest, one you’re not real close to but who you have to invite and who’s a judgey little PITA. Aim to please that person. And read your contracts, literally, every blessed word, and ask about things that make you pause before you sign.
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