Post # 1
I’m a very picky person, and I like what I like. For this reason, I really wanted to be involved in the planning of my bridal shower, but my Maid/Matron of Honor insisted that I not have any say & said I made her feel like I didn’t trust her to throw me a fab shower. So, I said fine but she told me the date of the shower, because she knows I don’t like surprises. My friend just got her invite, and sent me a picture of it. Well… I HATE IT!!! It’s not my style at all! Then I looked up the place where it is being held, and it leaves much to be desired. Before all this I was so excited for my shower, but now I’m just blahhh. I’m trying really hard to be appreciative, but I keep looking at my bridal shower inspiration board (which she has seen) and it just makes me sad.
I feel like such a brat pouting about this, but this is something that I’ve envisioned for so long and its just not even close. I already plan to try my best to be greatful & be happy but my Maid/Matron of Honor can read me like an open book, and I don’t want her to feel like I don’t appreciate her hard work. : (
Post # 3
I think you need to let it go- I think you will enjoy it despite your reservations anyway.
This is not your party to host, it is hosted for you. You should not have much input in my opinion.
Post # 4
You have your wedding to plan exactly how you want, but it might be helpful to think of your shower as a gift instead of an extension of your wedding. Myself and many other bees do not have someone to throw us a shower, so focus on the positive that someone is putting their own effort and time to help you celebrate getting married.
Post # 5
While I understand feeling disappointed that your Maid/Matron of Honor is hosting a party in your honour that doesn’t fit with your style/wishes, I agree with the PP who said to consider the shower a gift. You get to show up, be showered with love and presents and lots of attention, and not organise anything. Focus on the fact that people care about you enough to do this for you and try not to be too disappointed 🙂
Post # 6
I must say planning bridal showers are quite the task (I’ve planned my share) and just remember that, like everyone is saying, it’s a gift to you and I’m sure your Maid/Matron of Honor is working really hard to make it the best for you. You never know, the hall she rented may be all she can afford. Your wedding is your planning and that’s what you will remember the most.
Post # 7
I’m with the pps. I’m also quite picky about, well, everything, and also like what I like unabashedly. But, I would never dream of making a shower inspiration board because it’s not the bride’s role to organize it. If you’re concerned that the shower will reflect poorly on you, remember that your guests know that you didn’t plan it, and that it is a gift to you from the hosts. Being anything other than thoroughly grateful for the day they’ve planned is unbelievably rude and could have serious consequences for your relationship with the Maid/Matron of Honor (in addition to, as you say, looking bratty to all the shower guests). It’s not worth it – throw your emotions and creative energies into the wedding you’re hosting.
Post # 8
I’m not going to be able to have a shower, so I’m jealous you even get to have one at all. =o( If you were in my place, you probably wouldn’t feel so picky.
Post # 9
I agree with the PP. The point of the shower is to spend time with your BMs and loved ones and enjoy the time with them. It’s not all about the party details, it’s about the people attending wanting to share that time with you.
Post # 10
@BlissfulMrs: You could also look at this an an opportunity to work on your control issue. Think of how proud you could be of yourself if you get through this without worrying yourself silly or raising your blood pressure.
Post # 11
You should be grateful that your Maid/Matron of Honor is spending the time and money to throw you a shower. Put away your shower inspiration board, put on your big girl pants, and appreciate what you are being given.
Post # 12
I was under the impression that brides didn’t plan the shower at all? I’ve never heard of a shower inspiration board… I’m not sure if I’ll even get to have a shower since everyone is spread so far out, so… I guess I’d say just take a deep breath, back away from the inspiration board and realize this is a gift and an honor being bestowed upon you by your closest friends. Accept it, love it and appreciate it!
Post # 13
Move on to the things you can and should control – a shower being held FOR you by people nice enough to care about having and attending one for you is not in that list.
You can control gratefulness, you should probably apply your anxiousness to control and be picky to how you exhibit this to your Maid/Matron of Honor and HER guests.
Post # 14
@LMD84 <– This.
I have to say, it’s one thing for a bride to lend a behind-the-scenes hand if the hostess asks for some help in planning. It’s another thing to create a “shower inspiration board” and hand it off to them expecting they give you exactly what you want.
Like the others have said, you really need to appreciate this gift your friend is giving you. There are many brides on here who don’t get showers at all. I expect to be in that category when the time comes. If I did find out I was getting one, I would never in a million years hand off a list of expectations that other people not only shower me with gifts, but have the party exactly as I envision everything.
Post # 15
@j_jaye: this is great advice.
Post # 16
Thank you ALL for putting this into perspective. I definitely have serious control issues that I need to work on, Fiance just “yelled” at me for not delegating more of the wedding tasks to my family who are more than happy to do it. Control Freak: Guilty!
You all gave great advice & I really appreciate it! Especially:@Au Jardin: @j_jaye: @LMD84:
PS: The only reason I have a bridal shower inspiration board is because one of my bridesmaids and I made a shower & wedding board for fun a few years ago. Maybe I can use it (or some things from it) when it’s my turn to plan my MOH’s shower when she get’s engaged.