(Closed) Why am I so scared of having a miscarriage?

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@Bao: How many weeks do you think you are?  Its not unusual not to have morning sickness early on…it often develops later….say around 6 weeks, but can vary a lot.  I am now 10 weeks pregnant and haven’t yet had any real nausea.  I was REALLY worried about miscarrying too.  I have had several friends and one of my sisters suffer miscarriages so I worried a lot about it.  Truthfully, I still am a little worried and can’t wait for the next few weeks to pass so I can be out of the first trimester.  My breasts were a little sore initially and I had some cramping too (from around 10 dpo to right around my missed period, when the cramping stopped).  But they weren’t significantly sore.  Just a little bit and I wasn’t completely sure I wasn’t imagining it (it was prior to my BFP)  They have gotten progressively more sore.   Good luck!  I’m sure all is well πŸ™‚

Post # 4
Member
1932 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

@Bao: aww honey, come here (hugs)!! 

I felt the same way when I found out I was pregnant. And I had absolutely no reason to think that I might miscarry, I’m young 20’s, had only been on BCP for a year before TTC, always had healthy, regular cycles, no one in my family ever had fertility problems, my mom had 6 healthy babies (she only MC’ed once but it was because she was over 40 y/o) – so why was I worrying?! 

I am a compulsive worryer, I worry about everything all the time. I try not to, but it’s hard. If you start your pregnancy worrying, it won’t ever stop dear! I worried my first tri and couldn’t wait to reach 12 weeks – I finally hit it and then I worried about getting to 20 weeks and seeing the baby on the ultrasound. Once I saw him and knew he was healthy is eased me a little bit, until a friend of my sister’s almost lost her baby at 22 weeks and was put on bedrest! Then I worried that something like that might happen to me! Just this week I had an unrelenting headache and worried endlessly that I might have pre-eclampsia and would have to have the baby this month (I’m 32 weeks). It sucks, but when you become a parent, I think you sign up for a lifetime of worry and pain! But I’m hearing it’s so worth it πŸ™‚

Try to focus on positive things! And don’t get too excited about nausea lol, I got morning sickness between 6-7 weeks and it lasted until 18 weeks. Seriously sucked.  I hope that doesn’t happen to you! Keep us updated honey πŸ™‚

Post # 5
Member
1487 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Bao: I felt like this, pretty much identically to what Miss-Spunkin described.  I found out I was pregnant two days before the last Harry Potter movie came out, and I was having mild cramping, so I remember sitting through the movie in blind terror because I was so sure I was going to miscarry.

It took a long, LONG time to ease it, and while it’s better now, every time I hear a story about a baby being lost during late pregnancy, it flares up again.

I worried so much I had a lot of difficulty becoming attached to her.  I would go into ultrasounds and expect to hear that something had gone wrong, and she wasn’t alive anymore.  It was stressful for me, and for Darling Husband, and probably not great for the baby either.

And, like you, I had no reason to worry, which makes me think it comes with the territory, and I was unprepared for it, so it blindsided me like a big old truck.

Focus on the good things about your pregnancy, make lists of baby names, get nursery inspiration boards together.  Start doing research on cloth/regular diapering, or breast/formula feeding, whatever.  Anything to keep you actively engaged in bonding with your baby, because, worrying doesn’t change it anyway.  I missed a lot of my pregnancy thinking she was going to die, and I’m sorry about it now.

Also, my Morning Sickness was almost identical to Miss-Spunkin’s, it started like 6-7 weeks and lasted well into the second trimester.  I STILL throw up (29 weeks) every now and again.  It’s reassuring that you have it for like a day.  After that you just pray for it to go away, and it feels like a long LONG time before it does.  I cried more over feeling so sick than I did over ANYTHING else about this pregnancy so far, and basically didn’t leave the house for four months.  Just trust me, you don’t want it!

Post # 6
Member
2022 posts
Buzzing bee

Like others above, I assumed I would have a miscarriage and have been nervous my entire pregnancy, until recently (almost 20 weeks). I thought a miscarriage was coming at every moment.  I had actually had a prior miscarriage that started with bleeding so I was really petrified this time around.  The thing is though, worrying won’t cause a miscarriage and not worrying about one won’t cause it, either.  So it’s much better to try to relax and focus on your health and happiness.  Easier said than done, but you just have to try to think positively and not think about the worst.

Also, I never had morning sickness with this pregnancy – I literally had about 2 afternoons of nausea total. I started having insane hunger instead – but this didn’t occur and I didn’t get sore boobs until about a week after my missed period.  I was convinced something was wrong with the pregnancy since everyone talks about morning sickness.  Not so.  According to all of our testing and ultrasounds, baby boy is perfectly healthy and so am I.

I have had friends who literally had no symptoms other than a missed period for their entire first trimester!!  Really, everyone is different!

Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

You aren’t alone!! I was in the same boat when I found out I was preggo too. I had NO reason to think I’d miscarry (its my first, no history, m/c symptoms etc.) but all I could do was wait for something bad to happen. I’m almost 9 weeks now and still have not had any real morning sickness symptoms so sometimes they just don’t show up. I think what helped me was focusing on my first appt. After I saw that little heart beating away in there, I felt so much better! Plus the doctor told me that once they see the heart beating your chances of miscarrying drop to below 5%. Stats definitely helped me calm down. Most women our age have a 15-20% chance of miscarrying…which means you have a much better chance of having a happy and healthy pregnancy! I think this worry and stress is put on us just so we get a glimpse into our future…the worry for our LOs will last forever! Good luck hun ; )

Post # 8
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I’m 7 weeks and only recently has the nausea picked up. Like within this past week, I wake up with a horrible feeling in my stomach, more akin to a hangover. I was worried too because in the first few weeks, I was just tired and had to pee a lot. I had some spotting (light, but worrisome). I went into the doctor yesterday and saw our baby’s heartbeat. There’s somone in there!! I managed to sleep alright through the night after that.

Post # 9
Member
31 posts
Newbee

First, congratulations.  As someone who had a miscarriage, my advice is there is no use in worrying.  Really, even if it hard to do.  If you do miscarry, it is sad, but you will be fine and there is a reason people miscarry.  Usually because it is not a healthy pregnancy.  There is nothing you can to stop it.  But most likely, it is healthy and it will be fine.  Worrying won’t help wither way.  And morning sickness or lack thereof is not an indication of anything.  Stay away from Dr. Google where you can drive yourself crazy reading hundreds of stories about women who are going to tell you that lack of morning sickness means something bad.  It might have for them, but there are millions of women who will disagree and have the children to prove it.  

Post # 10
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Every woman is different. I had miscarriages and had morning sickness with every pregnancy, so that is really not a sign that things are going well or not. 

I think worry is normal for most people. Just try to think positive. 

Post # 12
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

This is me 100%! I had a chemical pregnancy in November and now I’m so afraid it’s going to happen again I haven’t even worked up the courage to call the doctor yet. You are definitely not alone.

Post # 13
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I feel your pain! Everytime I had cramping I knew something was going to happen. Word of advice, drink LOTS of fluids(water). I’ve noticed whenever I don’t drink enough water my stomach starts to cramp usually at night. I get a big glass of water, kick my feet up and read or watch TV. I’m 12w 4d and the fears are still there but after we saw our peanut last week I felt so much better! My morning sickness didn’t spike until 9-10w and didn’t last long. Keep your chin up and lots of sticky baby dust your way! πŸ™‚

Post # 14
Member
3255 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m not pregnant, but I often wonder if I will be this way, too. Several people in my life have recently miscarried, so I think it’s always in the back of our minds if anyone close to us has ever endured it. 

Post # 15
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Bao: I think every newly pregnant woman feels that way.  I am 6 1/2 weeks and to be honest with you, I feel the EXACT same way.  I check to see if I am spotting every time i go to the bathroom.  But i think we just have to relax a little and let our bodies do what they were made to do.  Just keep taking deep breathes and remind yourself that there is nothing YOU can do and relaxing is the best thing we can do for us and our babies.  

Post # 16
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Bao: I think every newly pregnant woman feels that way.  I am 6 1/2 weeks and to be honest with you, I feel the EXACT same way.  I check to see if I am spotting every time i go to the bathroom.  But i think we just have to relax a little and let our bodies do what they were made to do.  Just keep taking deep breathes and remind yourself that there is nothing YOU can do and relaxing is the best thing we can do for us and our babies.  

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