Post # 1
So, my sister was going to plan a hen’s party for me. My sister is 10yrs younger than me and she is still a student and she is still into the party life….well she is doing the stuff that I used to do 10 yrs ago. I am 30 yrs old and she is 20. She wanted to plan a hen’s party at a bar and also bought the stuff and everything and Mom told her that I wouldnt like it. In fact I wouldnt but dont get me all wrong – I really appreciate it – I so appreciate it that I start crying because Im so sad that Im so strange that I wouldnt like a hen’s party. They even called my Fiance on what they should do and he told them, nothing. The perfect day for me would be a day by the pool ALONE, but I dont need my sister to pay for a day at a pool, especially her being a student and Im earning money that I could pay a wedding on my own …am I that weird? My mom told me, that there is no commenting that they didnt try to do something, and then I start crying again because I feel sad that Im not like someone normal who would die to have a crazy hen’s party. Last week a friend came to my workplace and asked me for suitable dates for a hen’s party and I also told her im not interested. It could be stress and everything and I work 12hrs a day, 6 days a week in a pharmacy listening to all types of people.. I just like to go out and not be centre of attention and not be all smiles and sweet talk with everyone instead of going to sleep! But then I think and say, why am I acting strange and weird and not have a hen’s party like a normal person. And would I regret not having one? I know its not the end of the world (I mean, a lot of ppl have so many more things to worry about) but sometimes I think that I would look back and not have any memories like a normal person or go to someone else’s hen’s party and keep thinking that I never had one for myself because Im so weird. Its not that Im not sociable and dont have friends – when I was at University I used to hang out with everyone, in fact, Im inviting 75% of the class to my wedding, as I was invited to theirs! I was with everyone’s gang of friends that I have so many friends. 5 days ago, I met someone i havent seen in 5 years and spent 2 hours chatting away. Friends, when they have an hour to spare, just pop in the shop to pass time with me. So I really am sociable lol. I just dont want all the attention on me and people doing stuff for me and not leaving when I want. So, as the title says..am I that strange? Who wouldnt want a hen’s party??
Post # 2
Not weird. My husband and I didn’t have bachelor/bachelorette parties. We went with about 8 friends to a baseball game and it was awesome! You do what works for you and shake off the haters.
Post # 3
You’re not weird at all! You’re just at an age where you’re past all of that silly partying lifestyle which is totally normal. In fact I’m much closer to your sister’s age than yours and I would hate a traditional drinking / partying hens so maybe I’m the weird one!! Just have a chat with your sister and let her know you appreciate all the effort she’s putting in but you’d be more comfortable if she toned it down to some quieter plans that suit what you’re comfortable with. 🙂
Post # 4
I’m not going to lie. I’ve always thought bachelor/bachelorette parties were super dumb.
I would definitely not want one either.
Post # 5
niki2015: I didn’t have one. Nobody offered to throw one, but I wouldn’t have wanted one anyway. I’m just not into partying. I get anxiety in crowded, hot and loud bars. I’d much rather hang out by the pool or at a quiet pub with some friends.
Post # 6
Not weird Im exactly like you! My favorite night is a night in watching a movie, in yoga pants and bra is negotable. However I knew my friends really wanted to throw me one so I made sure it would be low key. We met at my friend’s house and then headed out to dinner. We all saw a movie (Five Year Engagement was out at the time) then headed back to my Maid/Matron of Honor house snuggled in and watched a movie. It ended up being a lot fun hanging out with my friends and watching some good movies.
Post # 7
niki2015: I wanted to go to the zoo and aquarium. I conceded to the stupid sashes, but after getting a drink and seeing all the other Brides to Be hammered, dressed to the nines, and wearing penises, I was able to take that ish off and get my bridal party to agree that we are too old for that! Lol.
You aren’t weird, you’ve just outgrown that phase. No need to get get yourself worked up over something that most women over 27 feel is silly.
Post # 8
I don’t think it’s weird that you don’t want the party. I think it’s weird that you rejected it after your sister had already planned and spent money on it. At some point it becomes not just about you, but about the people who love you. They want to plan something, why not just let them? It doesn’t have to be a crazy party, it can be a chill evening at a lounge. Honestly you won’t be the centre of attention for all that long; at least for the ones I’ve been to, everyone talks about the wedding for about 10 minutes and then moves on and just has fun.
Post # 9
My husband and I didn’t have bachelor/bachelorette parties. We got together with a few friends for dinner and drinks. Neither of us are big partiers or heavy drinkers. Neither of us regret our decision. You do what you want to do. Don’t feel like you have to have a big blow out just because people expect you to. Why not suggest that you, your sister, mom, and a couple of friends go get mani/pedis and have a spa day.
Post # 10
arathella: I didnt reject it …. if she told me that she had everything planned out, everything booked I would have gone. Im not that kind of person, I can just suck it up and go. She just told Mom and Mom told her that I wouldnt like it and then Mom and sister just asked my Fiance and he just told them that friends already tried to organise something and I told them not to. I just found all this out an hour ago when Mom called to tell me that there is no commenting about me not having a bachelorette’s party. She probably bought the sash thing but she and my bridesmaids probably did not do anything else…they were just going to book and Mom stopped them.
Post # 11
I am 24 and don’t like stuff like that. I’ve never been a partier or crazy club going drinker. For my bachelorette party I had my closest group of friends (in total it was 4 people) go out and have a psychic reading done and then we went out to dinner. After dinner we went back to my house and played cards against humanity for hours with a couple of drinks. It was a lot of fun and definitely something I enjoyed a whole lot more than going out to a club or bar.
as far as if you’ll regret not having one? I don’t think you would. If it’s not something you’d want to do, I don’t think you’ll regret not doing It.
I didn’t go to my high school prom because I hated dresses and hated dancing. I didn’t have a date and really didn’t want to deal with crazy high school girl drama. So I skipped it. Everyone always told me I’d regret it, but to this day I can say with 100% confidence that I don’t regret it one bit at all.
Post # 12
I was 24 when I got married and I didn’t want the bar hopping crazy night either. My ladies planned a bike ride with a few friends and then we went for pizza afferward. No sashes or veils or crowns for me and it was like any other time hanging out. I LOVED it. If being the center if attention isn’t for you, that’s fine. Enjoy it and own it and find something that better suits you. You aren’t strange.
Post # 13
Honestly, if I were working 12 hrs/day x 6 days/wk, I’d want my downtime, too. Your leisure time is precious! Guard it well!
Post # 14
I don’t think it’s weird at all!
My Maid/Matron of Honor was asking me what I wanted to do for my bachelorette, thinking I’d want to go clubbing, see male strippers, etc. I told her I actually wouldn’t mind renting a cabin for a weekend at Deep Creek Lake in Maryland (about 3 hours from me), and going kayaking, getting massages, etc. She looked at me like I had 3 heads lol. I just don’t want some rambunctious blowout. I want to relax and do something fun that I’ve never done before!
Post # 15
I think the thing that im so worried about is that I dont even want to do that! I dont want to hang out with friends… I have been with my Fiance since I was 16 and I dont do anything without him except maybe go out with Mom and Dad ..sometimes they pass by at workplace and I go out for lunch or dinner with them after I close up and thats it…when I go out with friends, its always with him! I can hang out with friends – I mean sometimes we go out and I end up chatting with friends and him with his friends the whole night but he is still there…for my bday I opted to go out with just him…for his bday I called his brother and gf and went out with them as well ..i dont know…I used to be so outgoing, partying type but Im old now 🙂 and working too much ..im working now so that when I have a family I can fall back part time and not worry about money!