Post # 16
That’s not weird! I thought I wanted a “traditional” bachelorette party until I went to a friend’s and didn’t like the vibe. There weren’t any…er, strippers or sexual props or anything, but it was a destination party in a party town focused primarily on alcohol and dancing and wearing a “bachelorette” sash and all that. The bridesmaids/other guests didn’t all know each other well and with a little alcohol as feul, they quickly found reasons to not to like each other. It was stressful, and the bride was annoyed. Later, she opined that maybe we would have been better off just having a spa weekend–something she really enjoys doing.
I have decided instead of all that traditional drinking stuff, I want a weekend getaway at cabin or something. Since I am outdoorsy, I want to do something like white water rafting and horseback riding. Then maybe we will share a bottle of wine and cook ourselves dinner and play cards against humanity. Those are just things I enjoy–things that sound easy and pleasant to me. If a day relaxing by the pool sounds right to you, just go for that. I think you will be saving yourself a lot of headaches. There is no point in trying to force something that doesn’t feel right. As for saving your sister’s feelings, maybe you could placate her by suggesting you have a night out on the town with just you and her–a sort of private bachelorette. That way, she can party as hard as she wants in celebration of you, and you don’t have to feel pressured to do anything you don’t want.
Post # 17
Youre not alone! I dont want one either. I dont drink and dont go to bars, Im a homebody and I spend most of my time with Fiance or parents. My Maid/Matron of Honor is insisting on a hen party and I keep saying no! Im trying to settle on something that I will be okay with that also suits her. Im pushing for us to just go out for lunch or afternoon tea but she still wants to make a day and night of it. Everyone I work with says im mad as they all want to go on holiday or wild weekends etc for their hen parties. I often feel strange too! But at least were not alone.
Post # 18
Not weird. In fact, I’m in the US and today is Independence Day. I have no desire to socialize, drink, party, etc…today or any day. Never did! My idea of a great day is one where I can do what I want, when I want, ALONE. Because I hardly ever get that! As for my hen party, it’s me and my best friend going out for an English tea luncheon. How’s THAT for wild and crazy? 🙂
Post # 19
Why not suggest something more low key? A night in, watching movies, girl talking, ordering take out, no going out, no pressure. Your sister is trying to do something nice for you, why not let her and suggest something you would enjoy?
You are not weird and strange. There are many things to do to celebrate for a hens party. I suggested the above as it sounds like you don’t want to go out which is totally ok. You could also do a nice dinner somewhere then go home for movies, a paint & wine night are becoming more popular around the US not sure if they are in the UK. I would try to find some compromise where you feel comfortable. This way you will have one, so you won’t look back with regret, and your sister feels she has done her duties.
From a bee who didn’t have one because no one planned anything, do something. Even if its just you and your sister watching movies and eating ice cream.
Post # 20
You sound really neurotic and like you’re overthinking this. Just do what you want to do and stop worrying about it.
Post # 21
I don’t find it weird that you don’t want a hen’s party but I DO find it bizarre that you never go anywhere socially without your fiance. I get it, you’ve been with him since you were 16…but isn’t there ever a day when you go over to a girlfriend’s house and just have girl talk? Isn’t there a day when you call your sister up to go shopping or something? In my personal opinion I think it’s actually really unhealthy to spend every spare minute with a SO. It’s good to have a life outside your SO. It’s good to have hobbies without him. It’s good to go spend time with other people without him.
Quite honestly as someone who has friends who have been attached at the hip with their SO’s before, it can get old to your friends. It gets very old very fast.
Post # 22
ljm308: yeah well..if you work from 8am – 8pm Monday – Saturday, and sometimes Sunday mornings, and trying to save money, I dont think you will have time to go out with friends! At 8pm, I go home and sleep, and he is there. On Sundays, we do whatever comes up. We probably always stayed together because we were in the same group of friends – so his friends are my friends. So if both of us go out with our own friends, we still end up with the same friends.. we can go out together but spend the whole evening apart..but we go home together…..so its not like i cant breathe without him… that is why I love to just be alone! Whenever I go shopping, I go with my sister coz everything will be last minute. Work doesnt allow me to plan ahead of time! Friends always pop in at workplace. I was just sad about the feeling that I dont need a hen’s party!