Why am I so worried about bfeeding? / How healthy did you eat during pregnancy?

posted 4 months ago in Pregnancy
Post # 2
8016 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i’m in the first tri of my second pregnancy, and the first tri i never eat healthy.  carbs, dairy, and fruit is all i can tolerate.  but eating as healthy as you can is best for you and baby.  you don’t want to develop gestational diabetes. 

my first pregnancy, even with all the unhealthy eating, i only ended up gaining 1 lbs the 1st tri and 25lbs overall.  although i was very fit and a healthy eater before.


as for breastfeeding.  breastfeeding is hard.  i had a breast reduction and a premie so we had struggles of our own.  i could never get my supply up, but i was able to breast feed, supplement with formula, and pumped after most feedings.


i highly suggest you see the lactation consultant at the hospital while you are still there.  you can also make an appointment with a private LC, your pediatriacian’s office may have them, or you can go to the ILBLC website to find one close to you.  there are also breast feeding support groups.  most hospitals have them.  i went to the one at the hospital closest to my house, not where i gave birth.  it was where i met many of my mommy friends now. 



as far as formula and warming bottles, you can buy a jug of water and leave it on the counter so it is room temp.  then mix in the formula.  no warming needed and you can take this on the go.  very easy. 


once you get over your fear of bfing in public, it is quite easy.  i never used a cover.  i tried in the beginning but it was like a sauna underneath it, especally when we were outside. 

i took my son to the beach for the first time when he was 6 weeks.  we were walking on the boardwalk and it was time to feed my son.  i had a hard time find a place to sit, so when feeding your child is more important, you don’t even worry about people.  and i never had an issue of people staring or making rude comments.  they make plenty of shirts that are bf friendly.  i always wore a nursing tank with a tshirt over it.  once baby was on the boob, you couldn’t see anything.


also, if you bf and pump, your family can feed the baby your pumped milk, so you still wouldn’t need formula.


cluster feeding generall only happens at night. 

isolation – well take the baby with you.  i was jealous of mamas who could exclusively bf.  they didn’t need to bring any supplies with them, just feed the baby whereever they were.


you will never know what works best for you until you try.  FED is best but don’t let others deter you from bfing if that is what you want to do.  i strongly suggest you meet with an LC after birth,  they will help you.



Post # 3
1174 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

A good reason to stop worrying is that all the available options are perfectly okay.  You will find out which one works best for you and baby.  Then, tell anyone who gives you a hard time to mind their own freaking business.  And there will be people who give you a hard time regardless of your choice.  I wanted to nurse my baby girl with all my heart, but she just couldn’t do it.  I decided to exclusively pump for her, because I liked the idea of her eating breastmilk.  We are at 9 months and I have not had to give formula at this point.  My good friend wanted to breastfeed but her baby was not gaining weight, so she decided to do a combination of nursing and formula.  All perfectly reasonable choices.  I have had people tell me I am selfish for pumping milk for my daughter.  (Occasionally I have had to step out of social events for 15-20 min to pump.) I have had people tell me I should have tried harder to nurse. (I went through 3 lactation consultants and none were able to help me.) I have had people tell me I am pigheaded and stubborn for not just giving formula from the start.  Ignore, ignore, ignore.  Do what makes you and baby happy.

Post # 4
6393 posts
Bee Keeper

My advice would be John breastfeeding groups online like on Facebook and find breastfeeding groups that meet regularly at cafes etc near where you live. 

Also ina may gaskins book on breastfeeding was very informative to me (and I thought I already knew a fair amount about breastfeeding) so I’d recommend you get a copy of that too. 

Post # 5
46 posts
  • Wedding: August 2012

I am currently in my first pregnancy too! Four months as well! So I’m not too sure about the breast feeding question. I am going to sign up for a breast feeding class lead by a lactation consultant at the hospital. But I totally agree with you…there are a lot of questions that will hopefully be answered in that class.

As for eating healthy, 1st trimester was a write off. I would eat anything I could get down and I hated meat and veggies too! Now that I’m in the second trimester things are changing. I was recommended by my midwife to go online to gov Ontario website. 


Basically you choose your goal AKA eating while pregnant and they give you a whole weeks worth of meal plans! They even give you the grocery list and everything. I have been using it to get ideas as to what a healthy dinner might look like. Or what about healthy snacks. BONUS most of the dinners are super easy to make!

That’s whats been helping me. Also just eating more fruits when I crave sweets or a few rice crackers instead of a bag of chips. Just making more of a concious choice in what I consume.

But yea…its not easy…

Hope this helps!

Post # 6
3905 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

DD is almost 3 and DS is almost 1 year. I agree with pearlrose that all the options are ok! I went into both babies willing to try breastfeeding, see how it worked/how I liked it, and then go from there. Both my kids nursed well, but both also had lip and tongue ties, so we had some issues. But for convenience, it worked great. For DD, I could pump fine and pumped at work until she was almost a year and she nursed at home. She also did really well nursing in public. With DS, pumping didn’t work out so well, so he switched to formula at about 6 months. He also hated nursing in public – he couldn’t get comfortable and he always wanted to see what was going on around us. So again, formula worked better for him. Washing bottles is a pain in the ass 🙂 But if your kiddo is in daycare, there will be bottles regardless. So do what works for you and the baby. If anyone gives you grief, tell them to mind their own business. There are also a lot of resources out there to help with nursing if you want to pursue them. 

As for eating, first tri with both kids I ate whatever I could keep down. I lost 12 pounds with DD and 8 with DS during 1st tri. My second tri, I could eat more. With DD, all I wanted was strawberries and chocolate ice cream. Chicken was a definite nope. So I ate healthy when I could, and it got much easier after 1st tri. 

Post # 7
7931 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Breastfeeding can be extremely hard. Extremely. It’s not for everyone and that’s okay.

That being said, I’m still nursing my almost 2 year old and I wouldn’t trade that nursing relationship for anything. There’s just something special about it IMO. Yes she cluster fed like crazy when she was little and pumping absolutely sucked, but I felt…proud? I guess? To be able to provide for my daughter for so long.

I ate like I normally did when pregnant. Still do. I did limit myself to one cup of coffee/day during pregnancy and no raw fish.

Post # 8
9121 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

#2- I ate mostly like crap through both pregnancies.  I mean, I ate less healthy than I normally do (I normally eat pretty well non-pregnant).  Lots of carbs and not very good on fruits or veggies.  1st trimester was terrible, I ate a lot of fast food or takeout because preparing food made me nauseous.  I really wouldn’t worry, your baby will take what it needs.  Just take your vitamins and if you can eat healthy then great!

#1- Don’t feel guilty if you want to formula feed.  Although you can always tell yourself that you will try breastfeeding and you know, if it doesn’t work out, that’s ok.  It seems like a big deal but when your kid is 3, 6, 12 no one is going to be talking about breastfeeding or if they breastfed.  It’s a nonissue.  

I was a little worried about breastfeeding but not really in the way you are.  I just kept hearing how hard it was and I expected it to be really difficult.  I’ve had 2 babies and breastfeeding was pretty much a breeze.  Super easy, overall.  I had a few difficulties (I had an awful pump with my first so pumping was a struggle the first month but once I bought a new one it was night and day, 1 round of mastitis with each kid, and then a handful of clogged ducts around the 9-12mo mark) but overall I had a really easy time.  No latch issues, no supply issues.  Only issue with my second is he has a dairy intolerance so I’ve been off all dairy since 2/1 this year.  I had adequate supply with my first and I pumped overnight (while baby nursed on the other) on maternity leave and I saved about 300oz in the freezer.  So when I pumped at work, if I was short I could just dip into that.  With my second I’ve saved almost 1300oz so I’m donating some of it. I breastfed my first until she was 25 mo, weaned her when I was 12 weeks pregnant with #2.  

If you really want to get some good info, read the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.  It’s great for info.  Now it’s a little preachy (even for me) so ignore that aspect, the information is great.

I’ll address a few of your statements I see as inaccurate:

– I dont have a great diet… i like coffee and am not the most balanced eater.. so ill be worried that baby isnt getting enough nutrients

This doesn’t matter.  I believe they have tested milk from mothers in a variety of places with a variety of diets (or even in famine) and overall the milk is still very similar in makeup.  I drink coffee everyday, there is nothing wrong with coffee.

– baby stays full longer

This is a myth, not necessarily true.  It is true I think that formula is harder for them to digest (breastmilk is easier for their tummies to digest) so it can contribute to them maybe being fuller for longer.  But I think studies have shown ff babies don’t sleep through the night any better than bf ones.

– mmore scheduled feedings

This is also a myth, not true.  Almost all babies (formula and BF) will eventually form an eating and sleeping schedule for the most part.  And even formula fed babies will eat ever 2-3 hours in the beginning.

I do think that you’re right about most of your other pros and cons.  Although I’m okay with breastfeeding in public you might not have to do it as much as you think.  For things like running errands or going to target or the grocery store I always fed my babies before we left.  And then went, so no need to feed them in public.  Usually it’s just for longer times out where I have- like at the zoo, an ikea trip, or a local festival.  It really wasn’t necessary for me to feed in public every week.  Just a thought.  

I did/do end up doing all of the night feedings.  If you don’t BF, then you have to get up to pump and BFing is easier than pumping (you can just put baby on and doze off, pumping or bottle feeding you can’t do this).  So I preferred to just BF and do them myself.  I think I really got more sleep this way.  I am a light sleeper so even if husband actually got up (and it’s harder to get him up) I’m sure I would have woken up anyway.  I wake up anytime the baby makes noise.

Other positives to me you don’t mention are that Bfing is an easy way to soothe baby.  If baby cries or fusses, just put them on the boob.  super easy. 

It’s true you are more attached to baby and it’s more difficult to leave the house.  But I really only found that true for the first 3months or so.  After that, it is pretty easy assuming you can pump and baby takes a bottle.  

I also liked the fact that it made weight lost super easy with my first and I could go out and eat half a pizza and a margarita and still lose weight.  Second baby my body has been holding onto the last 10lbs. 

Post # 10
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

I had some of the concerns you had when I was pregnant as well. I have EBF my daughter for 6 1/2 months. For me, it was what I had always wanted/desired to do and I have fought hard for it…have been through 2 very drastic drops in my supply that I have fought my way out of…that probably has been the most emotionally draining thing I’ve been through. It is not easy by any means…it is one of the hardest things I’ve done, along with bringing a newborn home and trying to learn how to do life from that point forward, lol. Only you know what works best for you…breastfeeding or formula. I will say that if you do decide to forego breastfeeding, please at least TRY to give your baby the colostrum that you produce after he or she is born. It has HUGE benefits for them!! Out of all the birth classes we could have taken, my husband and I only took the breastfeeding class and it was worth every minute we were in there. Breast milk has a lot more benefits for your baby and can provide more nutrients than formula. Of course it’s more cost effective as well, among many other benefits. And not to mention the bonding…I wouldn’t trade the nursing relationship I have with my daughter for anything!! It honestly is the part of my day that I look very forward to when I get home from work and before I put her down for the night.

For sleep, she has slept through the night since 1 1/2 months, so I can’t speak for whether breastmilk or formula will help sleep or not. I would suggest to look into a breastfeeding class at your local hospital or health department, along with finding a breastfeeding group to learn more about what will be the best fit for you…breastfeeding or formula. 

Again, only you can decide what is best for you and your baby, but I highly recommend looking into it more and researching more to have a plan set forth for you & your baby. Some ladies also struggle with getting their milk to come in too. I hope that whatever you decide to do will be the best for you and your baby! Only mom knows best! 😉 Congratulations!! 🙂 

Post # 11
1174 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

teacherbee01 :  My baby is about 9 months old.  I currently pump 3 times per day for about a half hour at a time: when I wake up, right before bed, and once in the afternoon.  For the first few weeks, I pumped once for each time I fed the baby, to establish supply.  That was probably around 7 times per day, for about 15 minutes at a time. I found pumping to be a lot easier than nursing for me, but then again I had a baby with serious latching problems.  She would try to suck for a half hour and then get exhausted and fall asleep only to wake up hungry.  With pumping, it was 15 min to get the milk, 10 min to give her the bottle, and then move on with our day.  I think it depends on what your body is used to.  I do have to deal with washing bottles and pump parts every day.  However, I like being able to leave my baby with my husband or a family member and not worrying if she will eat.  My baby has not had a cold ever so far, not sure if breastmilk has contributed to that or just luck.  I have something like 2000 oz of extra breastmilk in my freezer downstairs, so I don’t have to worry about not having enough.  It has worked for us.  There is a website called kellymom that has a bunch of pumping information on there if it is something you end up incorporating into your plan.

Post # 12
1174 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Ps:  We went to Disney World when my daughter was 6 months old.  I was pumping 4x per day.  This is a selfie I took pumping on a bench at Disney.  I don’t think people even noticed what I was doing.  Whether you nurse or pump or whatever, I don’t think there is any need to be afraid of public. Once I even pumped with my hands-free bra and battery pack while pushing the stroller around the park.  And lots of places have nursing or pumping areas now.  Von Maur department store has a really nice one.  Disney did too, I just didn’t want to waste time walking to it.  If you don’t try to draw attention to yourself, people generally ignore you.

Post # 13
791 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

See if your hospital offers a breastfeeding class… I’m still pregnant, but knowing the current info has made me feel better and like I can definitely do it. A lot of the info you might get from friends, mom, or aunt can be outdated/old wives tales. A BFing class will help give you all the info on the latest things to do, and should include a section on pumping which means you won’t be the sole feeder.

Post # 14
196 posts
Blushing bee

Join a local breastfeeding support group and take a class offered by your hospital. Please! Having support is just as important as having knowledge. We took a class and it was so good for both my husband and me. He is an advocate for me.

I am the first in my family to try breastfeeding. All I have heard and continue to hear is to put him on formula. Every day that I continue to give my baby breastmilk is another day that he benefits from it. I’m not going to lie… the first three weeks were terrible because I was so sore and tired, but those things would have happened with or without formula. It’s called having a newborn.

Anyway, I’ll keep it short and address the cons.

Cluster feeding sucks, but newborns will feed on weird schedules, formula or not. The cluster feeding didn’t last long either.

A lot of your concerns stem from being the sole feeder and having a baby stuck to you. Your insurance company likely provides a good electric pump. Handpumps are cheap. There is also a silicone cup that attaches to your other breast while baby feeds and collects milk. I have all three because I also work full time. Even if you don’t get an electric or manual pump you can very easily build a small stock of milk by just using the silicone cup. When I use it I typically get about three ounces (almost a bottle) out of the other side. I know a good portion of EBFing moms may scold you for offering a bottle while breastfeeding, but every baby is different. My baby was offered a bottle one feeding a night within the first week or two by my husband. It gave me a break and allowed baby to adjust nicely to a bottle because that’s what he needs for daycare. My husband liked giving baby a bottle because it was important bonding time for him. He actually said he felt jealous of me.

I think it’s easier to go out without baby because I don’t have to take a bottle. Packing bottles for daycare sucks. I can’t imagine doing it everytime we go out.

Breastfeeding in public is what you make of it. I’ll put a blanket over us in a restaurant or when we are around family, but otherwise my clothes typically cover everything. Nobody has frowned or scolded me. I think 99% of the time they don’t even notice. Babies have to eat too. Like I said, my husband is an advocate. He would scold anyone who felt the need to react in a negative manner.

Diet wise, please… talk to a professional if you are concerned. I’ve always had a decent diet, so I’ve never had to worry.

Post # 15
3174 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer's Beach, Grand Cayman

Breastfeeding is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, period. My daughter had an undiagnosed tongue tie that led to pain and supply issues for 3 months, so we’ve struggled and had to supplement a little with formula but I never gave up and I would do it all over again if need be, because honestly all the benefits health wise outweigh the negatives. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing either, you can supplement, you can pump. Everyone will have a different experience with breastfeeding but I think it’s important to try especially in the beginning because the health benefits are just worth it! At this point I honestly find it so much easier to just pop the boob in then I do fixing a bottle but it took us a while to get to the point of it being “easy”, I wish I had had more support in the beginning. I definitely recommend seeing a good lactation consultant. Either way your baby will be fed and will thrive and that’s the most important thing, I just don’t think you can decide what it will be like without experiencing it, everyone will have different preferences and experiences. 

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