I don’t think most people were comparing weddings to a house party, but rather a dinner party at your house. TOTALLY different. I think most weddings are certainly more akin to a dinner party than some sort of drunken romp.
I think there are some gray areas.
Scenario: You have a small wedding in a backyard with your family. I think BYOB is appropriate here, as everyone is fairly close. Ive known people who did a potluck wedding. It was groovy.
Here’ the thing though. If you want me to get out there and boogie, without a couple glasses of wine it isn’t likely. I’m very poor, and weddings are a tad expensive. I wouldn’t be shelling out money for wine. I just don’t feel comfortable doing that. I really don’t do it when I go out either. I think it would feel awkward to have some of your guests drinking and having a great time and others self-conciously not drinking, not because they have something against it, but because they can’t afford it or because they don’t want to spend more money.
Another thing is, I’m going to be a lot happier sitting at a table full of your relatives that I don’t know if you give me a couple glasses.
Someone else compared it to ‘upgrading’ to a steak dinner from chicken. That’s exactly it.
That being said, if beer and wine are free, I feel a lot better about other stuff costing. I don’t love it, but it is somewhat more understandable.
I think that beer/wine is a great option. I don’t like the idea of doing something that is considered fun costing money at an event I’ve been invited to, nor do I like the idea of having some people more able to afford as much liquoring as they’d like.
Also, if it’s a big wedding and you’re not super close to everyone (I know this happens. The wedding I’m in has an extra 40 people that the bride/groom didn’t care about inviting. At my parents’ wedding there were a ton of random businessmen as well as a second, SECRET reception for the fancy people. HA. That’s a faux pas.) I think you’re more likely to get scoffed at in that situation. If I ended up at a wedding for semi-political reasons, and I don’t really love the bride/groom that much I’d be bummed out if I couldn’t at least loosen up and have fun.
All that being said, I’m not a big drinker. I drink maybe 4 times a year.
Someone else said they’re from CA wine country. I am too. I’m in Sonoma County. It’s pretty normal here to pay for a full bar (at LEAST wine!) If someone is getting married at a vineyard, I’d be pretty bothered if there wasn’t wine available. It just wouldn’t make sense.
I don’t get drink tickets. How do you distribute them?