(Closed) Why are cash bars tacky?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 227
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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@rbp:  Some people cannot cut out people from their wedding. It’s CLASSLESS to imply that everyone has or should have the same financial standings and priorities as yourself.

Having a wedding is about one thing and one thing only- getting married. It isn’t about the booze, the food, the dancing. It’s about celebrating a union. If you are a guest at my wedding, I hope that you enjoy the party (and the open bar I am providing because I can afford it at this point in my life), but I more of hope that you are there with warm hearts and an open mind. 

Post # 228
Member
3218 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I’m in the camp of “if you’re hosting, you pay for everything.” If I can’t afford to have an open bar, then I make the party small enough so I can. 

I wouldn’t be very upset with a friend if she had a cash bar– I’d much rather have the option to buy liquor than none at all.  But I wouldn’t feel comfortable hosting something where people had to pay for their drinks.

Post # 230
Member
13901 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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@ohmybears48:  Let’s watch the name calling.  Calling someone classless it’s very, very rude.

Post # 231
Member
3218 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

WB ate my post. 

I think most people know their social circle. If you aren’t a social drinker then you might not understand why, to some people, it’s blasphemy not to have a nip of something at a wedding.

I’m paying for my family and friends to get as drunk as they want.  I’m not bringing them to my wedding to then have them have to pay for something.  We drink to celebrate. We have a great time.  Our guests can pack away the alcohol, but they’re all responsible and will find their way home safely. 

Sure, if you only drink soda and milk with dinner, you probably don’t see why you should pay $4,000 for all-you-can-drink.  For me, the benefits of having happy (and probably tipsy) guests outweigh the costs.  I’m willing to slightly shrink my guest list to make happier guests than have everyone-and-their-brother come and have to buy drinks.

EDIT: Nevermind, just ghost pages!

Post # 232
Member
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I had a cash bar at my wedding…ooh the tackiness. I don’t think it’s really that big of a deal. I don’t go to a wedding expecting to party down and get wasted…I go because I want to celebrate the marriage of two people I care about. So honestly I enjoy a wedding whether or not there is free alcohol, free food, etc.

It was not within our budget to provide a sit down dinner as well as a cash bar. I also didn’t want to have a completely dry wedding so we offered a cash bar for those who were interested. They accepted credit cards, which was pretty sweet.

Post # 233
Member
1866 posts
Buzzing bee

@littlelucygoose:  I do feel that cash bars are tacky.  But, like most things wedding related, I think it depends on the area you live in.  I live in Chicago.  I have never even been to a wedding where there was a cash bar.  I feel like it would be inviting people to your wedding but then charging them for a slice of cake or for dinner.  JMHO. 🙂

Post # 234
Member
7368 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I wouldnt say tacky persay. I’ve only been to one wedding that had a cash bar. I was taken aback only because we didn’t know of this before hand. And I had to use the hotels ATM. So yeah in that case I was kinda pissed especially since the hotel charged $3 for a withdrawl. Ideally, IMO a limited bar is best, however I’m fully aware that many couples do cash bars due to  budget. I know within our circle/family, an open bar is standard and its defintely a priority for us to provide this to our guests. However, I don’t look down on those who aren’t able or who simply don’t want to do the same. But Id o find the whole “I have alcoholics in my fam” excuse lame. Hell I have have a few in mine to and a cash bar will not limit them from indulging. As OP said, if thats the case have a dry wedding. Why should I let the actions of a few dictate the enjoyment of the 99% of my guests?

Post # 235
Member
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

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@Juliepants:  

Oh hey, old friend!  I was hoping you could come to celebrate with us.  You know, take a full day out of your weekend, travel to a location of our choosing, wear your best clothes, and most likely give us a generous gift?  That would be super.

Oh, and bring your wallet.  Food’s on us but the buck stops there, buddy!


LOVE IT!  That’s the message I would get too if I went to a place with open bar.  I’m in Camp Open Bar (obviously) and we’re looking at not-as-great places to accomodate the guest list and open bar in our budget.  If you can’t afford it, don’t do it.  Don’t half ass it because your budget won’t allow for it.

Post # 237
Member
2214 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m pro-cash bar.  I’m from MA, have been to 12+ weddings, and not one of them had an open bar or beer/wine all night.  They all had an open bar for cocktail hour, then switched to cash bar.  And I don’t need anyone to tell me to bring cash.  I do because it’s what is expected when I go to a wedding.  I guess if this isn’t common in your area and you didn’t know and didn’t have cash, then it would be annoying.  That’s never been a problem when I’ve attended a wedding though.  That being said, I think open bars are nice, and I plan on doing at least beer/wine/signature drink at my wedding.

Post # 241
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

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@VegasSukie:  hey neither do I 🙂 – and most people on this thread seem to think that  what I did (beer and wine) is ok. I just have friends/family that couldn’t afford that and I’d hate to think their guests are judging them so harshly on that. And I guess for me personally, I’m not a big beer/wine fan, so I’d actually prefer the option to purchse a rum and coke if I can. And I guess I always carry a credit card or a little cash when I go to a wedding, so I’ve never been stuck with the ATM ordeal (which would be frustrating).

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