(Closed) Why are girls so BLIND!

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010 - Ladder 15 Restaurant

It is soooo hard to convince a woman that she’s not being treated well.  I think many of us try it at some point, and it’s so frustrating to see, but really, the only person who can convince her that she deserves more is herself.

Maybe the next time she comes to you with drama, you say you’ll be there for her, but you cannot encourage or give any more advice because you fundamentally do not agree with her decision to stay with him.  Tell her you’ll always be her friend and you’ll be there for her, but you can’t spend any more time talking her through the same situation over and over again.

Maybe then she’ll realize that she needs to take action?  I don’t know…it’s so hard!

Post # 4
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Sometimes I feel like in cases where you can’t do anything, the person needs to hit rock bottom and learn it themselves, the hard way. you can’t force someone to “see the light”. All you can do is be a good friend and be there for her when she comes to the realization herself.

Post # 5
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

“… She feels it’s her fault he is treating her that way.”
Sadly, it is her fault… Not in the way she thinks it is; but by the fact that she lets him do that to her without reacting, it will never change.
The guy gets away with everything, and has a girl at his constant back and call, why would he even want to change anything? His life is GOOD!

Maybe it’s tough love, call it whatever you like, but whenever she brings this up, I would analyse the situation from the guy’s perspective… Nothing will change magically until she is ready to set some boundaries – we only get the respect we ask for; not necessarily the one we deserve…

Years of blindness speak here…

Post # 6
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I am in a very very similar situation with a best friend of mine and the guy she is with. She is even one of my BM’s and she knows not to ask my opinion anymore on this guy because I cant stand him. Her whole family hates this guy and her mom even went as far as to hire a private eye to investigate him with hopes my friend would see the light. He told her that he wanted to marry her but if she were committed to him that she needed to buy the ring = he didnt ask her he simply said “i think i wanna marry you but…” This has been going on for about 3 yrs and he refuses to meet any of her friends and family…we have all only seen pictures and she is the same as your friend. Smart, beautiful, genuinely a great person, but just wont open her eyes. 

I sincerely hope your friend sees the light soon because this has ruined friendship and family relationships with this girl and its hard on everyone around her. =(

Post # 7
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I have a friend like that. she devotes her time, life, and whole schedule around him. All she wants to talk about his him. personally i am getting tired of hearing it and when she emails me about i dont even reply to that subject. i alraedy told her that i will be here for her when he breaks her heart (he does about 3x a month) but i am not going to hear about “their” problems anymore. which really arent problems they are her saying how he makes no efforts to commit to her. he is about 8 years older than her. he is stable and has a child and doesnt want her for anything but one thing. he comes in town about once every 3 months and there she is doing his cleaning, picking him up running her errands. he does NOTHING For her but she cant let go. she gets me so upset because she is beautiful and successful and i want nothing but the best for her. In the end you have to let your friends make their own choices the only choice you have to make is if you are going to be there for them when they get their heart broken.

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