(Closed) Why are my friends so worthless?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I think that you should personally ask someone. Your friends may have not seen your post or forgot to reply (happens to me all the time). Just give someone a call and I’m sure that you will find someone to take care of your dog while you’re away. 

Post # 4
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

Is the dog crate-trained, or were you expecting people to just let the dog run all over the house? IMO there’s a lot of difference between someone refusing to take a quiet, crated dog that they can let sleep in a laundry room or something, and taking on a dog that has the run of the house and might chew things, get into dog-poisonous plants chemicals and the like, might poop or pee on rugs or furniture, or might claw the carpet under the door wanting attention.

I don’t think I’d even consider taking a crated dog, because I live in a 660 sq. ft. apartment, the walls are paper thin, and I am a light sleeper. If the dog got lonely and missed the owner and whined or barked all night, I’d resent the owner when I was unable to function at work the next day, and that’s not a situation I am willing to create.  Also, there’s the matter of it being against the lease and all. If your friends live in large homes without small children, that’s one thing, but if they’re in apartments, have little kids, or your dog isn’t crate-trained, I can’t say I blame them a bit.

Post # 5
Member
3135 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

@MrsFuzzyFace:  Sending a blast request via status update is a pretty passive way of asking for help. Why not think of who it would make sense for (a dog lover, a neighbor) and directly ask?

Post # 6
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee

I totally understand why you came to that conclusion. But there is one flaw to it all – Facebook. Seriously. Facebook is THE worst way to communicate important things. If you needed a dog sitter you should have picked up the phone and kept dialing till you found someone who was available. Not everyone is on facebook every day and, let me tell you, things get lost amongst all the garbage floating around. Now, if you had called and no one bothered to help, I’d say you might have some shitty friends on your hands. But in this case they really didn’t do anything to wrong you. You simply chose a bad way to communicate your need.

EDIT: And even if they still didn’t help I might say that it could be due to the dog. Bringing someone dinner or giving them a ride is nothing like taking care of a dog. Even if I were your friend there’s a chance I wouldn’t accept unless you were absolutely desperate and couldn’t afford a kennel. And that’s simply due to my living situation and has nothing to do with you as a person.

Post # 7
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Everyone is assuming someone else is going to help out. 

I agree w/ PP’s. You need to ask someone for help one on one. Asking in a general way just invites no one to step up.

Ever been in a big group meeting and the leader/boss asks a question or for a volunteer and no one wants to raise their hand. This is the digital equivalent.

An important matter should be handled personally. FB blasts are more for “Hey we are going to the bar Friday at 8, who wants to go?” not “I have an urgent matter and need someone’s help”

 

Post # 8
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m sorry. 🙁 I agree that calling a few people might be a better option–people may have missed your post. I would dogsit in a heartbeat if we lived somewhere that allowed dogs.

Post # 10
Member
2065 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Meh, facebook was probably not the best way to go about this. If your friends didn’t happen to be looking at their feeds when you posted it, they might never have seen it thanks to how facebook shows their newsfeed. I miss half my friends updates because facebook randomly decides what to show me and I don’t put much thought into it because well, it’s facebook. If something was super important, I’d assume someone would call me.

Post # 11
Member
6824 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

There is a huge difference to what you have been doing to someone watching another person’s dog. Sorry even if it was family I would not watch another person’s dog. I grew up around dogs so its not that I don’t like them. I just don’t want another person’s dog in my house. 

And honestly you did all those things because you wanted to, no one forced you to. I would just kennel your dog for the night since they tend to be usually experts on how to handle a pet than someone who has no clue how your dog will react

Post # 12
Member
8472 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Sending big hugs to you!

I’d watch your dog if I could!  (Even though they are not allowed in my apartment, hey what’s one night, right?!)

I have been through, oh gosh, I can’t tell you how many friends during my time.  I found that it is much better to have the very good few as opposed to 20 friends.  I will not even attempt “fakebook” again because I don’t need someone who I have not communicated with in frigin 10 years “friend” me because if you were my true “friend” you would not have left my life.

Anyway, good luck with the whole situation.  I hope somebody comes through for you.  And yes, I do believe people need to be re-evaluated at times. 

Post # 13
Member
14501 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Facebook is not exactly the place I’d ask for help.  It’d be a superficial last ditch effort where I didn’t expect any responses, but would be pleasantly surprised if someone actually did respond there.  Why not just call a few people would you think may be willing to take the dog over night.  You should know who your ‘real friends’ are anyways and who you may be able to depend on to do this favor.

Post # 14
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@EffieTrinket:  I see what you’re saying but she took a child for FOUR days, which is infinitely more of a ‘nuisance’.

 

@MrsFuzzyFace:  I would take the dog in a heartbeat if we lived closer! Just ask someone directly and if they hem and haw, you know not to do them any favors.

Post # 15
Member
13017 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

To be honest, I don’t go on Facebook enough to see a post like that, and I’d probably assume by the time I saw it, someone else contacted you directly.  Could you reach out to one of the friends you did a favor for and ask? 

On the other hand, if this stuff is routine, I take a different approach.  I only put as much effort in friendships that I receive back.  At first it hurt to lose some people I thought were friends, but in the end, I realized that I only had that friendship because I put in 100% of the effort.

Post # 16
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

It is hard to find people to be there for you, although you are there for them!  I think it is best to ask someone/ a few people personally.  I have learned that I have to let people know what I need directly before I can be disappointed in them.  Often people will help out, maybe they just don’t know your specific, dire need?  For instance, I am not even on facebook.  I would call a few people and ask. 

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