(Closed) Why are people so RUDE?! Friend invited her kid to the wedding…

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

If she’s not someone you’re comfortable calling and having a conversation with, why is she your friend and why is she invited to the wedding.  

With her attitude about her kid, she is definitely going to be offended when you tell her that the kid is not invited, no matter how you do it.  

Post # 4
Member
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

Id send out a mass message addressing (im in contact with all mine via email or put on the website) the issue that kids are not invited (if thats the case?? No kid ceremony) or that only those specified on the invitation will be able to come and you just wanted to let everyone know before they booked tickets etc etc etc. 

 

No one should guilt you into anything on your day!!

Post # 5
Member
4771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Um if you’re having a Destination Wedding, I think it is in your best interest to provide a sitter for that day if you have a no kid wedding or expect lots of no shows.

Post # 8
Member
1671 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

@phillybride61513:  I was wondering the same thing as @strawbabies:  Why are you having someone who you clearly are not close with to your wedding? Just call her and tell her before it gets out of hand. Although I am surprised that your Maid/Matron of Honor didn’t say something to her when quizzed by “Sarah” as to why the baby would be left.

Post # 9
Member
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

You could just send a friendly email to all your out of town guests if you have theirs or you could make it look like you BCC in all your out of town guests, lol

Post # 12
Member
4771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Like it dosn’t seem that big of an issue.  You should have just said, “Oh, it’s actually a kid-free wedding, but I can help you find a sitter.”

At this point you should just call her ASAP and pretty much say the same thing so she dosn’t make plans if she dosn’t want to travel without her kid or dosn’t want to have it with a sitter on the day.

I’f she’s offended then you said you wern’t close anyway, if she is a normal rational person than she’d be happy to make arrangements or let you help her find a sitter in Philly. 

But I do think you should help find one.

Post # 13
Member
1671 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

@phillybride61513:  Well, I’m afraid you’ll have to have the frank discussion and may need to be a little more blunt if she’s just not getting it. That really sucks.

You could, of course, say something along the lines of “Hey Sarah – I’m just letting you know that I am so happy you are able to come and share this day with me and FH, despite the fact your hubby cannot make it. We are having an adult ceremony and reception and can understand that you might not want to leave little baby at home, which is why we have a babysitting service available for other parents which you can make use of as well. It is a great way to relax away from the kids and have a good time socializing. If you want to contact the service here is the info, or I can provide some references if that makes you feel comfortable”

Just don’t be afraid because it is not right to be forced into something. However, you are going to need the guts to do it because I am sure this will come up many times.

Post # 14
Member
1431 posts
Bumble bee

Email.. ” Hey Sarah, after talking with you the other night you mentioned bringing your son with you to philly. It just dawned on me that you may not have known since the invites aren’t out yet that we are not having children at the wedding. I am sure the trip to philly with him will be a blast for you both, but we just aren’t ale to accommodate children so i hope you won’t have any problems having someone watch him for the evening. “

 

Post # 15
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@phillybride61513:  I’m dealing with this too. I don’t get why people would think their kids are invited if they aren’t named on the envelope or it’s not addressed to the family. Jeez! 

Can you please message me the sitter service? I’m a Philly bride too with some midwestern relatives who have kids. It will certainly will be nice to be able to forward the info if people bring their kids on the trip.

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