(Closed) Why are smaller people not allowed to feel bad about their weight?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
Member
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I see other women do this all the time. For a avergae sized woman (5’6 or so) 15lbs sucks. I’m 5’9. 15lbs is like 1 pants size on me (and I’m grateful for that!). However my BFF is 5’3 on a good day so when she gains a few pounds it’s super noticable.

I guess what I’m saying is that it seems that shorter weomen have MORE right to gripe about their weight than taller women.

Post # 48
Member
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Ibblet:  It is one thing to go with a low cal option, it is another to exclaim “I am soooo fat” to a person who is more overweight than you are. Just tailor your remarks to your audience.  I realize your dlilemma, I am smaller than many of your friends but have heavier times and slimmer times. You are allowed to have a preference, just realize that someone who is truly overweight might not sympathize.

Post # 49
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’ve been working out and eating better in the last couple of months, and heard a bit of this…

 

While my friends/coworkers might say something like “but youre already like a model!” when I’m talking about losing weight, I absolutely am not, so it’s like a hollow compliment and is hard for me to take. I’m tall, and I dress my body well so you can’t see my problem areas that bother me. Even if I WERE built like a model, that doesn’t mean I should have the donuts. right? Sweets and eating heavy me SO tired in the evenings that I cannot function. Like knocked out on the couch useless, even though I only gained a few pounds. So there’s always more than just weight.

 

I’m not a complainer in front of others about my weight, but it might come up as an excuse (can’t go out to eat for lunch bcI brought a salad, or I can’t meet up til after my workout class), I just focus on other true reasons besides weight loss. I’m trying to improve my 5K time, more energy so I’m not sluggish, we’re just trying to incorporate more veggies into the diet or save money by making our own meals, etc. 

 

You’re the one resonsible for your own health and happiness, so just do what you feel is right for you. It sucks to not be able to complain with others who don’t understand your situation, but you might be insulting them. You’re talking about on your body you feel fat, but if they’re that much bigger than you, then it could hurt. Even if you don’t think so, it’s like you’re saying that you think they are fat/ugly/gross in their minds. usually just better to steer clear of talking about pounds, sizes, etc.  

Post # 50
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I understand. I’m 5-1 and 15 lbs IS a lot on our frame. there’s a huge difference between 130 and 145 on a short person!!! 

In the last year I’ve been fluctuating between 10lbs (120-130) and I just really hate it. I really wanted to get down to 115 but I don’t think I’ll ever make it. I work out nearly every day and watch what I eat but just cannot get out of chubby thigh/belly pouch land.

Post # 51
Member
9433 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Ibblet:  i never heard of this.  small weight changes are much more noticable on a smaller person than i larger person because it is a greater percentage.

i am 5 feet.  if i gained 10 pounds, someone would notice immediately.  10lbs is ~10% of my weight.  if my 5’10 friend gained those same 10 lbs, no one would notice. as that is a much lesser percent on her.

Post # 52
Member
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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@MrsPanda99:  It is a lot more socially acceptable to be skinny than fat. It is seen as more attractive and studies are pretty conclusive that attractive people (including children) get treated better.

Would you rather jealously be told to eat more because you look so good, or to eat less because you are seen as a fat pig? :- Easy choice, at least for me.

+1 zillion!!!!

There are few things that piss me off more when my coworker – who wears a 36D top & size small bikini bottoms (I know this b/c she talks so damn loud on the phone) – complains because she skipped breakfast & she doesn’t want to go to the gym. Seriously? STFU. Talk to me when you have 50 pounds to lose. Until then, be grateful I don’t secretly leave cookies and candy all over your desk to drive you nuts.

I don’t have a problem with people who want to lose 5, 10, 15 pounds. But don’t complain about it to someone who has over 30-40+ pounds to lose!!!!!!

Post # 53
Member
1156 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Ibblet:  I wish I had an answer for you.  Women are just very critical of each other.  I am currently in my weight loss journey.  And at first it was like “wow you have really lost some weight, good job”, that was going down from a size 14 to a 10, now the comments are becoming less positive.  I am now almost a size 8, and I get why do you need to lose more?  So I have heard this on both sides.  The smaller I get the less supportive people seem to be.  I don’t know…..??

 

You are correct, the smaller you get the more a small amount of weight changes HOW YOU FEEL about yourself, and you actual clothing size.  I say if you are not happy with your size, just work on it.  Nobody needs to know about it.  I get more hateful comments from women on my weight loss than from the guys.  Myself personally, at 5’4″……I just want to see 140 on the scale……I don’t care what size it is!!

 

Post # 54
Member
9681 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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@stargazer102706:  Yes, this. It is all about tact and being a considerate human being. My ex best friend was a fitness model who had been on magazine covers and often said she was fat. I wish I was as fat as her. I don’t humble brag my good fortune in people’s faces, so I wish they wouldn’t do it to me. If you feel fat at size 2, fine. Vent to another size 2 but don’t expect sympathy from a size 16.

Post # 55
Member
1004 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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@Corranthe:  THIS. When I started counting calories for the first time to fit into the wedding dress that I bought (which fit when I bought it, and I gained 20lbs), I was amazed with at much I had really been eating, counting the occasional alcoholic beverages, desserts, lattes, or sodas I drank. I’m surprised I did not gain more, because I was probably eating an extra meal every day snacking and drinking calories.

 

My meals have to be 400-500 cals. + working out 3x a week to maintain my weight, and less than that to lose! I don’t have time for crazy long workouts or runs regularly, and it also takes us longer to burn the same amount of calories as taller people! My DH can burn 2x the calories I can in 30 minutes AND his daily intake is already WAY higher than mine because he is tall. I have to sit aroud eating freaking salads all the time, and he can eat cheeseburgers and still lose weight. So annoying!

 

For taller people, one can of soda or french fries as a side won’t ruin their diet for the day, but for us shorties… it can. 🙁 That is why it is so frustrating when people are all like “but you’re thin enough, you can have a donut/cheeseburger/soda today!” 

Post # 56
Member
203 posts
Helper bee

@Ibblet:  I’m naturally thin and I’ve grown up with harsh and hurtful comments so I can relate with you on that aspect, but what do you honestly expect your size 10+ friends to offer you about you feeling “huge” in a size 6?  I hope you can imagine how insensitive that probably is to them.

Post # 57
Member
881 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Ibblet:  I completely understand what you are saying! My natural frame is just very small and I sit at a siz 4 without trying but I have been stress eating lately so when I complain about having to buy an 8 (thats 2 freakin sizes up from what I am when I eat what I want but dont over do it!) then people flip out and say I am insulting them! I am built to be a 4, if I dieted I would be a 2, and binging I am a 6/8 so healthy for me is 4 but people who are a size 8 feel like I am bashing them when I say I need to stop eating so much and lose some weight which I am not because for them 8 may be healthy and wonderful!

Post # 58
Member
1004 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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@ElleNLOVE:  This isn’t directed just at you, but a lot of PP’s have sort of missed the point…

On a SHORT woman, a size 5 is just like a taller woman being a size 10 or 12. It is about proportion. When I am at a size 5, at 4’11”, I look full-figured and “soft”. I prefer to look fit, as most people would. 

 

It is unfair to be dismissed by taller women because you are smaller than them. It is NOT about the numbers, but how the weight looks/feels on a person. It is upsetting to try to explain this to a friend, and they get all angry or dismissive because you are “smaller” (and therefore must be somehow trying to rub it in their face?)

 

I get that it is a sensitive subject, because NOBODY likes gaining weight unless they are underwieght that is their goal. So it is upsetting to be told “you’re experience with weight gain, and your feelings about it don’t matter, because my clothing size is larger than yours.”

 

 

Post # 59
Member
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

If it didn’t bother me enough to complain and do something when I gain 5 pounds I’d end up with serious extra weight. So, I feel like I have the right to complain all I want

Post # 60
Member
486 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I can completely relate to this!

I’m 4’10”.  When I gain 5-15lbs. I go up a size or two.  5 lbs for a taller person is just normal weight fluctuation but for me it means new clothes.

I try to be conscious about what I eat, and I go to the gym 3-4 days a week.  I’m a size 0/2 normally (at least that’s where I’m comfortable at).  I hate when people are talking about dieting, etc, and make comments like “oh, well you don’t need to worry about dieting- you’re so small” and “you can’t talk, you’re tiny”.  I’m the size I am because I work HARD to be here.  People assume i’m naturally small and can eat whatever I want.  Not the case.  I have had so many weight ups and downs in my life.  I used to be overweight according to those BMI charts.  Then I got called fat.  Yeah- that sticks with you forever.  My motto is if you don’t like your weight- try to do something about it (I say try because I realize this is easier said then done).  Do what you can and learn to be happy with what you have.  I work everyday to be happy with the body I was given.  Most days I can tell you that I’m not but it’s a work in progress.

Post # 61
Member
794 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest

We are all our own worst critic. 

I think we all just need to stop complaining and being so hard on ourselves. 

It’s a healthy mind that projects a healthy body. People that are pertually overweight have a lot of negative self-image floating around inside their mind. 

I have always struggled with my weight, and honestly the biggest lightbulb for me has been learning to LOVE myself for who I am no matter how my clothes fit, no matter what the scale says. 

If I had a friend complaining about their weight in your shoes, I would tell them that they shouldn’t be so hard on themselves. Not that they didn’t have a right to complain. I give mad props to anyone choosing to eat well and exercise because it’s healthy. 

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