(Closed) Why are these women in my wedding?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Oh man, I totally feel you sometimes. But I only have 3 to worry about…..with 7 you should have people running th show for you! Bridesmaids are supposed to be there for support and as work horses, definately not just to show up for the big day!

I have given up on mine. First of all, sister being the Maid/Matron of Honor thing, it’s not really a “choice” so lot’s of times there are many other friends who are more attentive to your big day and needs. My other bridesmaid is actually being pretty supportive, gchatting about wedding stuff with me almost every day, which is funny cuz i thought she would be the one to just show up, I’m very grateful for her now. My last one is an old highschool friend, and when I came home to work on wedding stuff she was like “thanks for inviting me but this is really too much unless you’re actually in the wedding” EXCUSE ME? She never calls, never offered to come visit and help me, nothing. And I bought these really nice bridesmaid gifts before all this…

I feel your pain, don’t worry. Try to tell them how you feel and if they don’t want to help recruit friends who are brides or who are interested. Sorry 🙁

Post # 4
14 posts
  • Wedding: May 2010

i understand where you are comming from and it is not fun.  i even posted here if it would be ok to un-ask the 4 girls (minus my sisters) from being bridesmaids.  i feel that i have always been there for each of them when they were going through rough times but i am not getting any emotional support (not even a hey how are ya phone call).  i havn’t spoken to them in over 2 months!  they all live out of town so i am not expecting that they help with things, but i still expect them to be my friends in the process.  i feel like i choose the wrong girls to appease everyone (btw, they asked about being bridesmaids!) and now i am regreting my decision.  i decised to be the bigger person, and continue to reach out to them in the process and plan on having less wedding party photos taken and use the time with the photographer to capture me and my husband.  good luck and stay stong!

Post # 5
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I totally understand you. I just got slapped down here when I complained about this subject.. Was told to suck it up and that basically that my BM’s world’s didn’t revolve around my wedding…dunno I know that, I’m not stupid. I know I feel as if basic involvement like phone calls and emails returned is not being crazy bride behavior. I spend alot of time and money planning my wedding. When they became part of the bridal party they committed some time and money on their part to this. Asking for their advice or replies to things doesn’t make me needy, that’s what a bridal party is suppost to do. Hell they should want to do this stuff without us begging them, if not why are they in the bridal party !!

 What fun is it on the bride’s part when she is constantly on the computer/cell trying to get her lazy, busy, hostile, jealous, moody, catty, non interested FRIENDS ..  to do the things they promised to do in the first place …IT”S NOT…

ok RANT over…sorry…but I do feel better

Post # 7
268 posts
Helper bee

I feel you girl!!! I have 5 bridesmaids. All are lovely women .. but they are very busy with their own lives. I bought their dresses just to get the ball rolling. Since then they’ve become more interested in helping me out ..

Post # 9
3613 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

This is one of the reasons why I only have one maid-of-honor. So I don’t have to stress over anybody else’s involvement or lack there of. On the bright side, planning the whole wedding by yourself can be fun because you have full control. That’s how I did it and I’m pretty proud of myself. I couldn’t do it without WB though. This place is my education source and my sounding board.

Post # 10
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

*Hugs* I know how you feel. Same amount of time to go and I just caught up with my 4 bms today after a month and a half of silence. Before that, I was sure that 2 of them were going to drop out. Even though I’m sure it feels strange, you may want to let them know that you are feeling down. Planning a wedding alone is hard and stressful, but your doing it!

Go you! Smile

I found this post by a Bee the day I was feeling my lowest.

Mine at Last: Reflections on Wedding Planning by Mrs. Lamb

Post # 11
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I am so sorry, but sadly I feel like you. Most of my girls are MIA and I have to call and get everything organized. I even had to organize my showers 🙁

Post # 12
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Girl, I feel you! And no, I don’t think they should just be there to show up on the day, otherwise they’d be a guest.

I have a friend who I’m actually her Maid/Matron of Honor and she’s one of my MOHs and her wedding is before ours and I think that’s why I’m on the back burner (2 of her BMs are my BMs)… funny story… my mom was over and we were making samples and playing with favors/invites/etc. and I was like “OMG I have to take pics to share on wedding bee!! since I dont have anyone else to really share it with I have wedding bee” and she was so sad about that and that I felt like I didnt have the support of my girlfriends… since then she’s been so cute and attentive doing stuff with me– we just got back from Michael’s actually. ANYWAY, point is, I know it’s not the same having us on here compared to your real life friends, but come on here and we’ll make you feel better! ((hugs!))

Post # 13
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m sorry that you feel that way.  I only had one bridesmaid (my SIL) because I didn’t have a lot of friends where I lived and I knew it would be hard to coordinate people who live across the country.  It really sounds like some of the people that you have in your bridal party aren’t really good friends of yours anymore.  I wish there were a way to just let them out but it would probably be rude to drop them.

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