(Closed) why are we in a rush to get married?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 47
Member
1480 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@penny_lane: “I’m embarassed that I actually signed up at weddingbee. I don’t belong to desperate-anxious-pushy-women society.”

Wow, that’s pretty harsh. You asked for reasons why a lot of women feel a need/rush to get married. You got quite of few answers. A lot of women come on here for support when other friends/family/etc don’t understand and I think WeddingBee helps a lot. Maybe you don’t belong here, if you’re going to have that kind of attitude about honest responses.

Post # 48
Member
624 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@penny_lane:  

“Are you insane???”

 “I’m embarassed that I actually signed up at weddingbee. I don’t belong to desperate-anxious-pushy-women society.”

 “Wake up!!!!”

 

       I think the things you are saying are rude and unnecessary. This is a place where we can go and feel safe. Where we can talk about our relationships and seek the advice of others. This is a loving, kind and supportive place. Us Bees use it as a way to get things off our chest so we don’t go and badger our SOs! I do not know anyone on here who is “desperate”. I think you are confusing excitement as “rushing”. I could be married by now, and I am positive many other Bees could be too. BUT we choose not to settle. We waited for “The one” because that is what everyone wants. So excuse me for being excited to spend the rest of my life with my soul mate. The Bess on here have answered your question and not one person said they are “rushing” to get married. You do not have the right to judge us, you do not know me or anyone else on here. You obviously joined this site for a reason, there is some answer that you are searching for. If you have a question, ask it, but no not come back with snarky and ignorant comments questioning our self worth.

        As FutureMrsJohnson said, we come here SUPPORT. We want to hear what others going through our experience are feeling. We talk it out and give virtual hugs and in the end, hopefully feel better. Coming on here lets us know it is okay to feel anxious, that these thoughts and feelings are normal. WeddingBee has been a bigger support system in these few months than my friends and family. I feel like this is a tight knit group of friends. When something happens we ALL feel it.

        Everyone would help you if you ask for advice, but you have to be willing to listen. If you don’t like what is said, that is fine, but you don’t need to cut people down for it. Perhaps you do not belong on here if you cannot see these Bees for the beautiful people they are.

Post # 49
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@penny_lane:  I believe I said that I feel like my life is on hold, not that I have put it on hold. I know I’m only young once. I choose to live my life with the one person I could see myself spending the rest of it with. I am chasing my dreams which is why I’m doing my Masters – so I can get a high-paid job and own a house as soon as possible.  He helps put things into perspective and guides me but he certainly doesn’t control me.

I think you might be more at home at The K**t – they’re snarky and cynical (in my short-lived experience there) unlike the ladies here on Weddingbee!

And P.S. I’m not insane…my mother had me tested!

Post # 50
Member
648 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I can’t say I’ve rushed into it in my case. We’ve been together for 5.5 years and were friends for 2.5 years before that. He said after a year that he knew he wanted to marry me, which was sweet and made me happy, but I was nowhere near ready for marriage or engagement. Marriage is a lifetime commitment to me and I know how to be a girlfriend but I don’t know how to be a wife yet, you know?

But I’m 31 now and am completing university in the summer and finally feel like I have my life where I want it and am ready to get engaged and married. But it took me a long time to get here because I realized that these would be the last few years of my life when I wouldn’t be engaged or married and I wanted to enjoy this phase. I have the rest of my life to be married and really wanted to savour just being my BF’s girlfriend:) But now that I’m moving into a different phase of my life completing university and starting my career, being called a “girlfriend” at my age makes our commitment and relationship sound very high school. I’m ready for the next step and I guess I’m in the minority where I wanted to enjoy every stage and take my time:)

Post # 51
Member
314 posts
Helper bee

Reading a lot of the posts on here, I must say, I’ve questioned this also.

There is quite a bit of anxiety from people about proposals. And when its spoken about, I don’t really hear anyone speak lovingly about their SO or what makes them want to marry their SO. Only the idea of having a ring and what it looks like.

With the thought of people getting divorced so soon, rings and ceremonies should be the last fascination. It is genuinely about committing yourself to someone for eternity. We are talking: Becoming a beneficiary and vice versa, bearing their children as well as rearing them, supporting them whether you like it or not in their decisions, financially mapping out your futures together, etc. The ring is just a part of the puzzle.

I was engaged once. And, I went to pre-marital counseling. That really opened my eyes to what marriage truly was about. Apparently, my ex decided that ws something he wasn’t ready for. But I knew that I was. He walked out on me, and I met my current SO whom im expecting to propose sometime this year.

I think that people really should consider how much they love someone outweighing the idea of being married to them. Because no matter what, you will have to share your life with them out of LOVE and not just the IDEA of love. 

Blessings. 

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