Post # 1
I was talking to my husband about the women on the Bee who have posted about being unhappy with their engagement ring. His response was “If I bought a ring you didn’t love I would absolutely want you to tell me that it wasn’t the right ring for you”. His reasoning is that if he is going to spend that much money, it would be a shame to end up with something I don’t love. It opened up a pretty good conversation between us about honesty and the true challenges of being in a relationship. We have a special needs daughter and have had to navigate some pretty heavy choices and I think he said it best when he said that if you have problems negotiating a poorly chosen ring, good luck dealing with some of the challenges that life will inevitably throw your way.
If you don’t love the ring, just say so.
Post # 2
Probably because they want to be sensitive of their partner’s feelings.
Post # 3
I think there’s a huge difference between HATING a ring that’s the total opposite of your taste and style, and being nit picky over a minor detail and it not being 100% exactly as you wanted. My Fiance and I created a ring that fit both of our styles, as it’s a representation and symbol of the two of us. There are characteristics of rings I like that he doesn’t like and vice versa so we compromised and picked a ring that we both love!
Post # 4
MrsFuzzyFace : Well i made a comment that my diamond is set a bit high to my Fiance. He immediately looked sad and asked if i didn’t like the ring.
Never ever bringing it up again. it doesn’t bother me enough to change or hurt his feelings over. i love my ring and would NEVER want him to feel sad about it.
Post # 5
- Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman
It would break my heart to hurt his feelings over a material object like that (hypothetically speaking). That doesn’t mean they have trouble discussing real life challenges, simply that some things aren’t worth conflict and hurt feelings to some people.
Post # 6
MrsFuzzyFace : Yeah, having a conversation about different tastes in jewelry is not at all on the same level as having a conversation on life choices that impact your children.
Post # 7
Because its a gift. An expensive and thoughtful one at that. A lot of time and consideration goes in to a ring purchase. Some might think it’s rude or ungrateful.
I also have a special needs child. How I would navigate not liking a material thing is NO reflection on how I handle any REAL challenges in our lives (and no, not liking your ring isn’t a “real” problem compared to having a special needs child). They don’t even belong in the same conversation.
Post # 8
mrsbrizz2017 : My point is that if having that conversation is difficult, get ready because there are far more difficult things coming down the pipe.
Post # 9
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
Someone could have the difficult conversation with their aunt Betsy about how they hate the Christmas sweater she got them, but some people would just say thanks and accept the sweater and move on because the sweater itself is less important than the fact that it was given with love and affection from aunt Betsy. For some people it truly is the thought that counts, even when it comes to engagement rings, and it’s not worth hurting their partners feelings over.
Post # 10
Some people (men and women) place a lot of significance on sentimental objects like rings, and the last thing anyone wants to do is hurt the feelings of the love of their life. All conversations that could potentially cause hurt feelings are hard.
Post # 11
MrsFuzzyFace : I don’t think it’s necessarily a “difficult” conversation for some women to have, but it’s more of a “pick your battles” type of thing.
You can look at this the other way too. Maybe the guys going to think “jeeze, if she’s this nit picky over an expensive gift, how is she going to be for every Birthday/holiday when I get her a gift?”
I do agree that if you absolutely hate your ring, you should probably say something. But if it’s something minor, then idk. I think it seems ungrateful to be upset about. The ring is a symbol of your love more so than an accessory.
Post # 12
Because we are grateful for the gift that was offered. And choosing to be content with what was given isn’t a lack of ability to communicate.
Post # 13
We picked the ring out together, but I would never tell him I didn’t like it because that would be ungrateful. He is a pretty terrible gift giver and I always say nice things about the gifts while cringing inside. And yet, we can still have difficult conversations about money and raising kids and so on. Go figure. Must be because being gracious about a gift is not the same as being a doormat.
of course it is easy for me to say so since we picked the ring out together and I love it. I might feel differently if it were really ugly.
Post # 14
I don’t think it stems from an inability to have tough discussions or communicate but just picking your battles and not wanting to hurt your partner’s feelings.
And honey, you aren’t the only one whose been dealt some hard stuff in life. You aren’t the only one whose had to have hard discussions with thier partner. Your tone seems pretty superior and it seems like the whole point of your post was to shit on others who would choose to handle the situation differently than you.
Post # 15
Because it’s rude and would hurt his feelings. And that has nothing to do with having the adult, necessary conversations we have about things that matter.