(Closed) Why are you a SAHM/SAHW?

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 46
Member
731 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

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kaytee094 :  so…I have no comments on staying at home. It works for some and it doesn’t work for others. The question for you, is do you want to go to college? If you want to find something please go! Take online classes at a community college and explore a wide range of subjects or get hands on experiences volunteering and through interships. Being a mom is very rewarding I hear, and do that if it is what you truly want. But I’d say the same thing to a freshman in college or a high school student male or female. EXPLORE! The world is wide and it’s the only way you can have experiences you’ve never dreamed of. Especially since if you don’t have kids it will be much harder to do so when you have them.

Post # 47
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I just became married. I am going to college and was working. I just quit my job due to commuting to school. My husband is lucky enough to make enough to afford our (frugal) lifestyle now. We realize a short term stint of me being a Stay-At-Home Wife is ok because we are investing in our financial future so that I may get a better paying job. 

I’m not going to lie, I’m baby crazy. Child crazy really. I want so badly to have a mini version of my husband running around. However, I realize 1. It would be financially irresponsible to have a child right now 2. I want to spend time as a wife first before becoming a mom. 3. I know deep down I would feel disappointed for not TRYING to create a purpose for myself outside of raising an independent human being or just being in a relationship with one. 

Post # 48
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

My situation is different from some of the others on here, so I thought I would share:

I graduated from college 2 years ago and have a seasonal job scoring standardized tests (from about January-August, so I have the fall/winter off). In my time off, I suppose I am a Stay-At-Home Wife. However, if all I was doing was cooking/cleaning, I think I would be depressed. I am an aspring novelist, writing the second draft of my first novel, and I am also a freelance writer/editor. My husband is a civil engineer, therefore he makes enough money to support our middle class lifestyle. He loves his job, I get to write and don’t mind taking care of household chores, everyone wins. I can see how a situation like this wouldn’t work for everyone, but it works for us. Also, we don’t want to have children, and that’s a decision that affects our lifestyle, allowing us to save more money, travel, etc.

Post # 49
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2016

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11stardustwanderlust11 :  Your post just about brought me to tears.  I know it seems silly and overdramatic, but it did!  I have been out of the workforce since 2012–I was a SAHG, then SAHF, now Stay-At-Home Wife…and most likely, Stay-At-Home Mom in the near future.   I felt like I wasn’t alone in this experience for the first time in several years.  It’s like you took the words right out of my mouth, only I haven’t had the courage to say it. I know that these circumstances aren’t exactly commonplace, and it sucks to feel like you have to constantly justify the way you choose to live your life especially if you don’t have kids yet.  (I try to keep my life as a Stay-At-Home Wife on the dl, I don’t complain or brag about what I have or don’t have, but I’ve received my share of snark, backhanded comments, and questions that were thinly-veiled digs from all sorts of people, including my own Mother-In-Law, who was a Stay-At-Home Mom herself! Wtf?!), I fully understand that, in my case, this is a priviledge–one that I will never take for granted, but I am so grateful there are others out there who can relate. I retiterate *in my case* because I know for many SAHMs I know personally, it’s not a matter of priviledge but of necessity–as in, they can’t find a job, or their line of work or industry doesn’t pay enough to make up for the outrageous costs of childcare, so they tighten their belts and stay home.  That said, I have great respect and admiration for women who work, whatever their reasons or motivation.  Thank you for being honest and frank about your experience and treating your circumstances with self-respect and kindness while applying that same respect and kindness to women in the workplace. 

Post # 50
Member
315 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

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santoslhalper : awwwwww thank you so much, doll. πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’• I’m so glad to have been even the tiniest bit helpful. Much love πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—

Post # 51
Member
534 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

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kaytee094 :  

1) why are you a stay-at-home-mom/wife? I’m in my late 30s and spent the first 15 years of my career working my butt off, especially in the last few years before getting married. We don’t currently lack for anything at home so DH is cool with me chilling at home and recovering from an autoimmune illness. 

2) what prompted you to stay home?

A couple of things, waiting for my green card, getting used to a new city and an unexpected illness that sidelined me for close to a year. 

3) is it bad to want to just be a homemaker vs a career woman?

No, there truly is no wrong or right. You do you, and do what feels right for you. If you can afford it, and you want to try the Stay-At-Home Wife thing, I encourage it. Don’t try to please everyone, or measure up to the “norms” – do what makes you happy. 

4) how did you find your ‘calling’ so to speak? I was lucky and started freelancing at a job that wound up being something I completely fell in love with and stuck with. 

5) and finally – is it bad to want to be a Stay-At-Home Wife if you DONT have kids? Does it end up being unsatisfying? We don’t have kids yet – we haven’t even started talking about TTC really so I can’t answer this for now. I don’t find it bad at all at this point obviously because I’m a Stay-At-Home Wife and I love it. I have all the time in the world to do the things I’ve always wanted to do – like work out regularly, learn how to cook, keep house, explore my new city. I love it, can’t complain! 

 

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