- 4 years ago
- Wedding: August 2016
I just became married. I am going to college and was working. I just quit my job due to commuting to school. My husband is lucky enough to make enough to afford our (frugal) lifestyle now. We realize a short term stint of me being a Stay-At-Home Wife is ok because we are investing in our financial future so that I may get a better paying job.
I’m not going to lie, I’m baby crazy. Child crazy really. I want so badly to have a mini version of my husband running around. However, I realize 1. It would be financially irresponsible to have a child right now 2. I want to spend time as a wife first before becoming a mom. 3. I know deep down I would feel disappointed for not TRYING to create a purpose for myself outside of raising an independent human being or just being in a relationship with one.
My situation is different from some of the others on here, so I thought I would share:
I graduated from college 2 years ago and have a seasonal job scoring standardized tests (from about January-August, so I have the fall/winter off). In my time off, I suppose I am a Stay-At-Home Wife. However, if all I was doing was cooking/cleaning, I think I would be depressed. I am an aspring novelist, writing the second draft of my first novel, and I am also a freelance writer/editor. My husband is a civil engineer, therefore he makes enough money to support our middle class lifestyle. He loves his job, I get to write and don’t mind taking care of household chores, everyone wins. I can see how a situation like this wouldn’t work for everyone, but it works for us. Also, we don’t want to have children, and that’s a decision that affects our lifestyle, allowing us to save more money, travel, etc.
1) why are you a stay-at-home-mom/wife? I’m in my late 30s and spent the first 15 years of my career working my butt off, especially in the last few years before getting married. We don’t currently lack for anything at home so DH is cool with me chilling at home and recovering from an autoimmune illness.
2) what prompted you to stay home?
A couple of things, waiting for my green card, getting used to a new city and an unexpected illness that sidelined me for close to a year.
3) is it bad to want to just be a homemaker vs a career woman?
No, there truly is no wrong or right. You do you, and do what feels right for you. If you can afford it, and you want to try the Stay-At-Home Wife thing, I encourage it. Don’t try to please everyone, or measure up to the “norms” – do what makes you happy.
4) how did you find your ‘calling’ so to speak? I was lucky and started freelancing at a job that wound up being something I completely fell in love with and stuck with.
5) and finally – is it bad to want to be a Stay-At-Home Wife if you DONT have kids? Does it end up being unsatisfying? We don’t have kids yet – we haven’t even started talking about TTC really so I can’t answer this for now. I don’t find it bad at all at this point obviously because I’m a Stay-At-Home Wife and I love it. I have all the time in the world to do the things I’ve always wanted to do – like work out regularly, learn how to cook, keep house, explore my new city. I love it, can’t complain!
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