(Closed) "Why aren't you married yet?"

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
2992 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Ugh, I used to hate it when people asked that!

The me of today (I’m married now, by the way) would just turn it right back at them and ask, “Why do you care so much about my marital status?” 

But the young me that was being asked usually gave one of the following stock answers: 

  • I’m not in a rush
  • I’m happy the way things are
  • I’m focusing on education/career/money right now

And later, when I was in a committed relationship but DH wasn’t ready to propose yet: 

  • I have no idea
  • Ask my boyfriend, he’s over there
Post # 3
9521 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

When I used to get that- “because we are having WAY too much damn fun with where we are at!”

edit- sorry misread the first time

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 2 months ago by  theatrejulia.
Post # 4
44 posts

Following this because I’m sick of being asked this question as well. I agree with is_a_belle and have provided all of those polite answers, but it still doesn’t stop people from asking again. I want to tell them it’s an invasive question, but that’s seen as rude (especially if it’s co workers or family members- sometimes HIS family members even!)

Post # 5
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I used to answer with “We’re already married” and laugh 🙂 

Post # 6
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

View original reply
sweepmeup:  I said that last year at a get together LOL and now we are planning the wedding..Should I feel guilty hahaha ( my moms inviting the nosey women that kept asking 

Post # 7
121 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
is_a_belle:  Oh I’m using “ask my boyfriend, he’s over there” from now on. Beats my awkward laughter and more probing questions from friends and family anyday 😅

Post # 8
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I’d only get asked that when fi was around, so I’d deflect it onto him. I got tired of the constant emotional Rollercoaster and let him take some of the awkwardness. 

Post # 10
9544 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper


View original reply

I like ‘why do you ask ?’  or some variant  much  better than  ‘ask  my bf’ , because that  then sounds   like you would if you could,  but he’s dragging his feet and I  would hate that to be thought , especially if it was true!

Otherwise  I;d say something joky like ‘well  Prince Harry and I made an  ill-advised  secret marriage three years ago and it’s  proving really  hard to get it annulled. Please don’t tell anybody  else – I shouldn’t  really have  told you ….” . 

Post # 12
2668 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I’m another bee who would throw my now Fiance under the bus in those sorts of situations lol. I realised one day that everyone was asking me that question, not him, so I decided it was time he shared some of the pain . He soon realised why it annoyed me so much lol.

Post # 14
230 posts
Helper bee

“I’m not easily impressed.”


  • This reply was modified 4 years, 2 months ago by  southerncharm.
Post # 15
3164 posts
Sugar bee

Might not fit your polite criteria, but I always used to get slightly different wording in the question “still not married?” and I used to normally reply “still not divorced?”. I’m cheeky by nature so normally people were just like, touché, and we moved on with a laugh 

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