Post # 1
Bees who received the “why aren’t you married yet” comments, how did you deal with this? Any advice on what to say?
I always feel like I’m caught off guard when I hear comments like this. I want to be polite, but I also don’t feel the need to explain the status of my relationship to other people.
Post # 2
Ugh, I used to hate it when people asked that!
The me of today (I’m married now, by the way) would just turn it right back at them and ask, “Why do you care so much about my marital status?”
But the young me that was being asked usually gave one of the following stock answers:
- I’m not in a rush
- I’m happy the way things are
- I’m focusing on education/career/money right now
And later, when I was in a committed relationship but DH wasn’t ready to propose yet:
- I have no idea
- Ask my boyfriend, he’s over there
Post # 3
When I used to get that- “because we are having WAY too much damn fun with where we are at!”
edit- sorry misread the first time
Post # 4
Following this because I’m sick of being asked this question as well. I agree with is_a_belle and have provided all of those polite answers, but it still doesn’t stop people from asking again. I want to tell them it’s an invasive question, but that’s seen as rude (especially if it’s co workers or family members- sometimes HIS family members even!)
Post # 5
I used to answer with “We’re already married” and laugh 🙂
Post # 6
I said that last year at a get together LOL and now we are planning the wedding..Should I feel guilty hahaha ( my moms inviting the nosey women that kept asking
Post # 7
Oh I’m using “ask my boyfriend, he’s over there” from now on. Beats my awkward laughter and more probing questions from friends and family anyday 😅
Post # 8
I’d only get asked that when fi was around, so I’d deflect it onto him. I got tired of the constant emotional Rollercoaster and let him take some of the awkwardness.
Post # 9
I love the idea of shifting the attention over to my boyfriend. Lol! Thank you for the suggestions ladies. I’m so glad I’m not alone in this. I feel like people should know better than to blatantly ask questions like that. But such is life I suppose.
Post # 10
I like ‘why do you ask ?’ or some variant much better than ‘ask my bf’ , because that then sounds like you would if you could, but he’s dragging his feet and I would hate that to be thought , especially if it was true!
Otherwise I;d say something joky like ‘well Prince Harry and I made an ill-advised secret marriage three years ago and it’s proving really hard to get it annulled. Please don’t tell anybody else – I shouldn’t really have told you ….” .
Post # 11
hahaha! That’s a cute idea. Humor might help ease the stress of the initial question.
Post # 12
I’m another bee who would throw my now Fiance under the bus in those sorts of situations lol. I realised one day that everyone was asking me that question, not him, so I decided it was time he shared some of the pain . He soon realised why it annoyed me so much lol.
Post # 13
right?! It seems like no one ever asks my SO. Grrr. Time to share the pain! Haha.
Post # 14
“I’m not easily impressed.”
Post # 15
Might not fit your polite criteria, but I always used to get slightly different wording in the question “still not married?” and I used to normally reply “still not divorced?”. I’m cheeky by nature so normally people were just like, touché, and we moved on with a laugh