(Closed) Why assume a couple is married if they aren’t wearing wedding rings?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Strangers have referred to my SO as my “husband” on more than one occasion. It doesn’t bother me at all. In fact I use it as an opportunity to remind SO that we should work on making them right  😉

Post # 18
10015 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

For some reason, as soon as we started dating people always assumed my now-DH and I were already married.  In our case it was probably our ages, we’re in our 40’s.  Or, maybe some couples just look like they belong together; we took it as a compliment because we knew from the start we were in it for forever.

Post # 19
646 posts
Busy bee

@NoOneYouExpect:  Not sure thats worse than assuming that you have kids. On mothers day, SO and I were in our local convenience store when the guy behind the counter wished me a Happy Mothers Day. AWKWARD MUCH???


As for assuming Im his wife, SO is fine with it though. Said that I pretty much am anyways, so why correct anyone.

Post # 20
4753 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

…beacuse TONS of people don’t wear wedding rings. so that’s why I would.

Post # 21
2780 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@mrssoontobeh:  Some service workers, just wish every customer a “happy such and such holiday”. It’s just being curteous and polite on their part, I promise it’s not his way of assuming you have kids. It’s very reasonable to assume almost everyone celebrates mother’s day…I mean someone had to birth us!

Post # 22
2780 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@NoOneYouExpect:  I tend to try to stay away from controversial questions, such as asking a couple about marriage, kids or asking a women when she’s due…You just never know and asking that little question could cause the couple a butt load of arguments if it’s already being somewhat of a argumental issue between them.


Post # 23
39 posts

I love when people refer to my SO as my husband! Especially when they do it in front of him. I hope he takes it as a hint and I don’t think he has ever corrected anyone abut it. I agree tho that it says something about the comfort level that you display around your SO. Just enjoy the fact that someone else is putting he idea out there and you don’t have to!

Post # 24
1685 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013


I don’t know. Why wouldn’t you? A lot of people don’t wear rings, for a variety of reasons. 

Post # 25
5072 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

Fiance and I get this all the time – even years ago when we were just dating.

I think it’s because we are so comfortable with each other and we look like we “go together”.

Post # 26
1360 posts
Bumble bee

People assume we’re married all the time. It might be because FH refers to me as his wife. ;P However, people thought this right when we started dating (well before he began calling me his wife), so idk.

I don’t ever assume any other couple is married, though. I’ll glance at their hands and if there is a ring on the girl’s finger then I assume they’re engaged.

Post # 27
1979 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

This happens to me and my occasionally and it really bothers me.  Its awkward! And what are you supposed to say? I wish but this guy is keepingwe waiting so I’m just his girlfriend- yikes!! I look at hands.  In fact, the first thing SO did when we met was check my left hand for a ring (he was not sly about it either, lol).

Post # 28
578 posts
Busy bee

lol we have gotten this several times too, before we were engaged. The first one I will never forget because I was only 19 and hadn’t been dating Fiance very long. Usually its men who, while talking to my Fiance, say something along the lines of “do you come here often with your wife?” 

I always loved it because Fiance has never corrected anyone on it 🙂 

Post # 29
10650 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

You said people were asking.  To me that’s different than assuming.  I think it’s good that they weren’t assuming people weren’t married simply because they didn’t have rings on their left ring fingers Smile

Darling Husband doesn’t wear his ring most of the time, and I don’t always wear mine either.

Post # 30
2776 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@msfuturea:  We used to get this too.  Our realtor was shocked when he asked us and we said no.  Like really really shocked.

One night at Dave & Buster’s I was being asked that so much I brought it up to him.  He told me its probably because I looked good because someone also was about to hit on me before he showed up.  I don’t know what he was talking about though since I never saw this person.

So I don’t know.  Some married people don’t wear rings and all but I don’t think I would ever ask a couple if they were married.  I would wait to hear a my wife story or something.

ETA:  One of the guys I worked for used to talk about his wife and he wore a ring, when I met her she said they were getting married in a little while.  I later found out she proposed to him so he wore a ring.  She was annoyed for whatever reason that he kept refering to her as his wife.  So these’s days one never really knows.

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