Post # 1
In the time that I have been browsing WB (since the beginning of this year), I have noticed that there are a lot of posts about ring regret, dress regret, overall wedding regret, etc.
So, my question to everyone is this: Why can’t you be happy with what you have/what you did/what you are going to do? Why do you always have to have some kind of regret?
I can honestly say that I do not regret anything concerning my ring, dress or overall wedding experience. It was all what I wanted, not what somebody else told me I should want.
Post # 3
People have expectations, and sometimes they do things impulsively or things just don’t turn out right, and they get disappointed, and sometimes regretful. It happens. Sometimes people just want a little reassurance that they made a good choice.
I don’t regret anything about the material aspects of my wedding, and while my wedding hasn’t happened yet, I hope I don’t end up regretting anything from the experience. But sometimes people do feel that way and I don’t see what getting grumpy about it is going to do. If it totally drives you nuts, don’t read the posts? I don’t tend to read them because they aren’t interesting to me. I’m glad you didn’t regret anything (yay happy wedding memories!) but I don’t necessarily think other people’s regret stems from it being ‘what somebody else told [them they] should want.”
Post # 4
WB is a place where people can discuss anonymously. If we can’t discuss regret here, then where else?
I’m glad your wedding went as planned, but not everyone is so lucky.
Post # 5
I would say its because this is a community of support. Some women (and men) get on here to be as honest as possible about how they feel. Others overreact, but come back down after some support and encouragement. I can’t imagine not having slight regrets or missteps along the wedding planning path… afterall, I’ve never done this before! I see the Bee as a place to rest these insecurities and get advice… and how do you get advice without admitting you may have misstepped along the way?
Post # 5
@kittyface: People have expectations, and sometimes they do things impulsively or things just don’t turn out right, and they get disappointed, and sometimes regretful. It happens. Sometimes people just want a little reassurance that they made a good choice.
I couldn’t agree more.
Post # 7
I’ve been struggling a lot with dress regret. I think my problem is that it was my own decision. FI picked out my ring, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I LOVE my ring and couldn’t begin to regret it. I’m a huge shoe person, so I’m actually surprised that I haven’t been regretting my shoe choice (given that there are just so many options) but I still love hte shoes I picked.
I think the real reason for all the “regrets” is that we only get to dress up like this once. There may be other formal occasions in our life, but we’ll never get to wear the big white dress again with the hair, make-up… and the pictures will live in infamy forever.
Listen, it is ALL EXTREMELY SILLY. That is true. But that is why I post about my sillyness on an anonymous wedding website. I would never tell anyone I know that I had “dress regret.” They would probably look at me crosseyed and tell me there are starving children in Africa. But that is what Weddingbee is for, honey.
Post # 8
I don’t regret anything about my wedding experience, but I was concerned a little that maybe I hadn’t picked the right dress, the right flavor cake, etc. I wanted to have a great wedding day. I knew it wouldn’t be perfect. But I worked two jobs to be able to pay for my $7,000 wedding and wanted it to be what I wanted. When I considered how much money I was spending and how hard I was working for it, I was worried that I might have made the “wrong” choice in some areas….meaning the wrong choice for me, not someone else. All in all, it was amazing. But I certainly don’t judge those who have regret. I think it is only natural considering the circumstances. While getting married isn’t the “end all, be all,” it is a pretty big damn deal.
P.S. Probably should have gone with a different minister, as mine wore flip flops and a dress three sizes too small. Luckily, we are blocking her in most of the pictures. Plus, it is something to look back on and laugh at now. 😀
Post # 9
@jellybeangreen246: I think that’s a tricky one. I do have trouble w. the dress regret posts, especially when the dress is super pricey and the bee says how she cried when she bought it, etc. It’s something that will be worn for a few hours, so I don’t get the buying a second one for several thousand $$$.
I think that society and the wedding industry has drummed it into peoples’ heads that the wedding has to cost a ton and be the BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. It’s a lot of pressure, and no wonder reality falls short of expectations.
Ring regret I can see… especially if the man insisted he pick the ring himself. I am trying to avoid all this myself by picking the ring myself. It would suck tho to have to wear a ring for the rest of your life that you don’t like.
Post # 10
For me, I see the whole wedding planning experience as uncharted territory. There have been some mistakes, some things we could change (we had to recognize it wasn’t right for us), some things we had to cut, some things we realized would work out but would be different than how we had originally envisioned. We’ll probably go through a lot more of this too since we still have almost 6 months.
I agree with other posters that this a forumn for support. So none of the stuff on here is like 100% of the person. It’s one piece that can be explored with the support of others.
Not to mention we’re all entitled to change our minds.
Post # 11
Because this isn’t lala land and people’s likes and dislikes change.
Post # 12
- Wedding: September 2013 - The Gables at Chadds Ford
I am one of those brides that has had “regret” over things already and my wedding isn’t even until September. I am a very indecisive person and typically I like to shop alone. However, wedding dress shopping, and other wedding-related things have primarily been situations where I am shopping with other people. For example, my mom would’ve flipped out if I had tried on wedding dresses alone! Ultimately what happened regarding my “wedding dress regret,” was that I didn’t go with the first dress I fell in love with because my mom didn’t like it. I ended up buying a dress that I felt was a compromise between what she loved and what I loved, only to realize I didn’t love the dress I purchased. I went back and exchanged it for the first one I tried on and I couldn’t be happier. Some things we brides “regret” are simply because we have a hard time making decisions in the first place or because we felt like we made choices based on someone else’s opinion. I’m glad to hear that you have no regrets about your wedding! I don’t think most of us brides will regret our weddings either, but we’re just being picky along the way 😛
Post # 14
Contrary to what some bees said about this being a community of support, I personally felt my few moments of regret BECAUSE of things like the Bee (or Pinterest, or Style Me Pretty, etc). In retrospect, everything was 100% perfect, but the times when I did doubt my decisions were when I was comparing myself and my choices to other people’s choices. I think that’s why it’s important to stop looking once you find something you love if you’re the kind of person who operates as a compare-er. Like me!
EDIT: I do think WB is a community of support for the most part!