(Closed) Why can’t I just “relax?”

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Step 1: Breath.
Step 2: Find something that makes YOU happy and do it.  Ban all of the stuff that bothers you from being talked about mentioned, or alluded to  for that time.

I was going through the same thing and went to go see a counceler. She told me to look at my life and get rid of the clutter, what is stresing you out that you really, really don’t NEED to be worrying about? Get rid of it. Idenity what it is that is bothering you, and make baby steps to change it. Do something differently everyday.

So far its working for me, I hope it helps you.

Post # 4
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I am the same!! It is a natural thing I feel like I was born with. My mother is also the same way. My Fiance is opposite. This helps me. He really helps me to be a more relaxed person. Even my boss laughs at me because he says I am wound like a rubber band. So now I try to joke with him without being so serious. My daughter is a very serious kid as well!! 

I handle stress and worry terribly. If I don’t hear from someone I worry. I worry when I drive. I worry that this and this is out of place. I even worry and stress about things that havent happened yet! Ha!! I’m a mess!!

I finally got some anti-anxiety medication that seems to help. I even feel better just KNOWING they are in my purse. I very rarely take them unless my mind is spinning at night. 

I hope you feel better! I can totally sympathize girl!

Post # 6
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t have any advice- but I know how you feel, I’m the exact same way. Even when I’m having fun, I am worrying! I hate it. I just want to be able to roll with the punches.

Post # 7
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Legallyblondiebride: Ugh I do the EXACT same thing.. planning out conversations for scenarios that have not (and probably will not) happen.

Post # 9
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I am pretty much the same way and Fiance hates it.  He’s always telling me to relax, but I simply can’t.

At work last night, one of the RNs did a relaxation group with the patients.  It taught you ways to relax, stretch, and breathe.  It was fantastic.  I had to join in because I was on a 1:1 with a patient (where someone has to be with them at all times) and I couldn’t believe how amazing I felt.

You can find a DVD or probably even youtube it (I’ll see if I can find something) to use every morning and night or only when you feel super stressed/upset.

I definitely plan to follow through with using the techniques I learned every night.

Post # 10
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee

I can relate I am just like you, always worried about the next thing, I am always in the future, go go go, i actually drive myself crazy. My Fiance is the opposite and just live’s in the moment, he tries his best to help me relax, it is a hard thing to overcome. The best thing I have found is to make a mental note to stop stressing. I mean if I am stressing out I actually say to myself, “stop worrying it will be fine”, or “I don’t need to worry about this for another like 3 months, so stop”. This helps me mentally shut off and relax but it is a daily battle.  You are not alone, just make sure every night before bed you sit with you partner (or animal, or whatever else bring you comfort) alone with no distractions and just breathe and think of nothing else but that moment in time. It will help.

ETA: I also do the conversation thing. lol

Post # 11
Member
3520 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@Legallyblondiebride: I know this sounds silly, but I had roommate once who really savored life.  If she was eating a banana, she’s say “Wow, that was a really good banana… perfect!  No spots or nothin! (she was from OK).”  After every TV show, it was “Well now, that was a good show.  What did you think?” and then a 5 minute discussion about what we liked.  Point is, she was so positive all the time, I started doing it too.

If you stop and concentrate on one thing at a time, it might help.

Post # 12
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@Legallyblondiebride: Wow! Before reading this thread I thought I was the only one who did this!   My FH is the most relaxed person you will ever meet and I am the total opposite.  We are 38 days out and I am totally freaking out and stressing over everything and FH keeps saying everything will work itself out and be perfectly fine.  I wish I could have one day of stress and worry free!

Post # 13
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@junehearts: Wow… I thought I was the only one that did that Innocent

Post # 14
Member
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I don’t want to try to diagnose you over the Internet (ha) but have you ever thought you might have an anxiety disorder? I did (do) the same things you describe and it eventually progressed to the point of anxiety attacks. I was diagnosed with GAD and I don’t have to take meds, instead I learned strategies to cope! It’s nice to live my life, wake up on a sunny day and actually enjoy it without “picking” at something whether it is health worries, loved one’s safety or worries about the future or whatever! Something I couldn’t remember doing.

Might be worth looking into.

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