I’m sure there are tons of rants on this here already but I’m adding another one…
We are 2 weeks from our deadline and we’ve only heard from half of our guests. We invited 127, we have 40 yes’s and 25 no’s. A lot of the question mark guests (people we weren’t confident if they’d say yes or no) still haven’t answered. I’m getting super annoyed. What’s even MORE annoying is the friends who’ve gotten married in the last year, the people who you think would know how annoying this is, HAVEN’T RSVP’d yet!! Invites were mailed February 17…grrrrrr, rant over.
As you probably know (since this rant happens all the time), you can’t really be mad if you still have 2 weeks until your deadline. 2 days, I would start getting a little moody, yes. But 2 weeks? That’s FOREVER for some people.
pharmy: I know it’s loads of time, I’m just one of those people who send things back right away so people waiting 6 weeks to mail a card just doesn’t make sense to me 🙂
Now we have 10 days and I’m still waiting on that 50%. Whatever I don’t have when I get home the Tuesday after deadline (Friday and Monday are holidays) I’ll be calling/emailing/texting to get an answer.
We mailed our invites around the same time you did and our RSVP date is just over a week away. Almost but not quite half have been returned. I am completely astounded that the response rate is this low too. Quite a few of them are just lazy family members that might be assuming we know that they are or are not coming (but still, we paid to put stamps on those return envelopes for a reason!). A good number of the non-returns are our high school and college friends that really just don’t get wedding etiquette at all.
MsGinkgo: They still have 2 weeks and if they are unsure, they’ll use up the time trying to figure out how to make it work. Would you feel better if they just sent it back as a “no” right away, just to get it back to you? Or if they sent back a “yes” and then no-showed?
You’ll get more back in the next 2 weeks. Promise.
j_jaye: my date is a month before the wedding, I just don’t understand why people wait so long to send a response to something they’ve known about for a year – I’m more annoyed by the people like FH’s parents who don’t seem to think they need to bother because we know they’re coming.
bitsybee: I know most will come back, but I know I’ll have to chase some on time and I know they’re not actually late yet.
You are two weeks away from your deadline and you are annoyed with people for not sending the cards back? Heck, I hardly ever send them back until close to the deadline. Your wedding is hte MOST important thing going on in your world. To the people you invite, it is just another thing going on in their worlds. Those little cards are so easy to lose or misplace. I am a single mom (well not for much longer) of 2 small kids. I have a full time job, plus kids in activities, ect. I get a blue ton of mail every day. I try to remember to sort it and throw out the junk and keep the stuff I need to respond to in my mail basket, but sometimes I get sidetracked by kid things or a work call or one of the other 8 trillion things I do in a day. People aren’t being rude. They have their own lives with a million things going on in them, and your wedding, while it is the most important thing to you, isn’t the most pressing matter in their lives. I try to always send that little card back, but sometimes, I am not sure if I can go until closer to the wedding, so I just barely make the RSVP date. And sometimes I lose that stupid little card and have to contact the bride and let them know. Anyway, cut your guests some slack, if your date hasn’t even passed.
there’s no point in getting upset before the deadline. bees who want their rsvps in earlier shoud set earlier deadlines (so I hope bees stop trying to make everybody have deadlines of 2 wks to 1 month before wedding- it depends on the situation).
If you want, get upset when ppl actually miss the deadline, but there is absolutely nothing rude with sending an rsvp in by the deadline. if you gave them 6 weeks to rsvp, but really want all the rsvps after only 4 weeks, then you should’ve set the deadline for a bit earlier than you actually want all responses by. no need to stress. so much is stressful in wedding planning & life, why create stress when there shouldn’t be any? good luck
& by the way, there’s no way I could’ve waited until 1 month out for our rsvps either – because we’re doing rounds of invites, final guest count and payments are due 1 month out, and we’re a destination wedding for all w/discounted hotel blocks closing 2 months out in an expensive area. So I set my deadline much earlier & I sent a polite reminder to those who missed the deadline (since I did ask them to rsvp pretty early after all), then I’m individually contacting the last few holdouts (and patiently waiting on a few who said they’d know a bit later).
MsGinkgo: You still have 2 weeks.. theres plenty of time for the responses to come in! Just take a deep breath, and let it out. I gave it 1 week after the deadline before I started hunting people down. There were only 40 guests at our wedding and I figured it was easiest on everyone to do the website response. So I just had them rsvp on our wedding website. Super simple right? takes 2 seconds? no. no, people are super uber lazy aparently, we only had responses from bridal party, and my parents, and a close family friend. I had to hunt down everyone else. Not fun having to call your future brother in law asking if he had forgotten to rsvp a week after he was supose to let you know. ;p Good luck hun! I hope all the responses get to you in time
I came in here thinking your RSVP date had passed. It is TWO weeks from now. why are you already upset? As a bride who had to chase down almost half our invites, trust me, this is not an issue (yet). There are a lot of other things you should be worried about.
My RSVP date is Apri 15th, so just days away. And I am finding that the RSVP’s are rolling in now. I personally am not a last minute person when it comes to stuff like this, and drives me crazy when people are. BUt you gave them a date for a reason and lots of people stick to that date. SO i would say, expect your RSVP’s closer to the closure date. Good Luck!
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