(Closed) Why can’t people seem to let me be peacefully agnostic??

posted 8 years ago in Secular
Post # 18
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think that people forget about etiquette and common sense when it comes to religion.  If you had told them you really weren’t into cats, they’d have to be pretty cat crazy to continually send you pictures and videos of them.  But, because it’s religion, they feel like they’re justified in pushing it on anyone, and that really they’re helping and you’ll thank them later, and that they know what’s best.

FI’s mom is always trying to get him to go back to church.  We’re both agnostic, and she’s had a hard time accepting that.  I can’t get mad at her about it because, as she put it, religion has given her such joy and a sense of purpose and makes her life better, and she just wants us to have that too because she loves us.  So, even if she’s not going to change our minds or anything, I don’t get annoyed by it because I know she’s doing it because she wants us to be happy, not because of any ‘holier-than-thou’ viewpoint.

Also, to be fair, I know a lot of atheists who do the same thing, and to me that’s even worse.  I have an atheist friend who, when he hears that someone has any sort of religious belief, always says “You know that’s a myth, right? I thought you were smart.”  

Post # 20
83 posts
Worker bee

I feel for you 🙁 The same thing happens to me with a few people. It’s always the same people too. If your friends continue to do this, I’d just be honest with them and respectfully tell them that their behavior makes you feel uncomfortable and you feel like they are pushing their religion on you. If they are truly your friends, then they will understand and stop being so pushy with you.

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@Eva Peron:  I completely agree that we are in a connected world, and that people will react to things according to their beliefs. As an agnostic, if someone offers up that they are praying for me when I post a problem of mine to facebook, I understand that they are wishing me well in the best way they know how and I don’t think it’s a big deal. What the op’s friends are doing, though, is not what you are describing. They are pushing onto her, without any trigger on the op’s part, their own religious beliefs when they know that she believes differently. It is like an agnostic or atheist continually sending a religious friend unprompted links to rationalist convention footage, or sending websites about how to avoid mentioning God in your ceremony, or responding to a facebook status about a problem with “you shouldn’t pray because it doesn’t work.” That is annoying and inapropriate, no matter where it’s coming from, and I disagree that she should simply ignore this behavior, especially if it continues.

(I just read my response and I realized it could be interpreted as a personal attack. I assure you, it is not! I just wanted to throw in my two cents 🙂 so please don’t take it the wrong way!)

Post # 22
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would probably either ignore them or start being a jerk until they realize they need to shut up. I usually go with ignoring though because it’s easier.

Post # 23
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m not religious, I believe in a God and heaven but not religion. I think some people who are religious (definitely not all, but some) like to believe in God and heaven and all that goes with it because it makes them feel better. Some people like to think there is a reason behind everything and that there is some greater plan. Some people just like to believe that their loved ones are watching over them. I think that believing these things makes people feel better, it relaxes them in times of stress and comforts them. I see no harm in this. I love to believe that my family members who have passed away are watching over me. Some of these people feel threatened or scared when others do not believe the same. They may think they are being told that no one is watching over them and they shouldn’t think that way.

That being said I hate when people try to force their beliefs on to others. We should everyone believe what they want and approach life how they want. I would never tell someone they have to believe in heaven if they do not, that is annoying and rude. I would not get married in a church and I would be mad if that was pushed. In general I think religion is a very sensative topic in which people feel they are being attacked when you don’t agree with them, which is sad.

Post # 24
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Are you deleting all the religious FB posts?  If only those posts continuously disappear, then maybe they will get the message eventually.

To the people who text you religious things, I would text back: Thanks for thinking of us, but as you know we are not religious and won’t use this.

Post # 25
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I tihnk you just need to talk with them and tell them how you feel. Most decent people would then leave you alone about it, and if they don’t, tell them your friendship will suffer because of their lack of respect for your views.

People need to realize that unless someone directly askes them about religion, they should probably keep their mouths shut on the topic. I find it incredibly rude when people start talking down to me because I don’t believe in some made up dude in the sky. Guess what people? I went to Catholic school for 6 years, read the bible cover to cover I don’t know how many times, and I probably know more than you about what goes on in it. That is the reason I feel the way I do, because I educated myself, realized it was all just made up bullshit that people with too much time on their hands put together, and found my path.

Post # 27
1986 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t push my views on others and I don’t expect them to push theirs on me, I realize some of them think I might be silly for believing in something more and that is fine.  That said, I don’t like when people post their religious views on my facebook- regardless of if they line up with my own beliefs.

But maybe I’m just weird.

Post # 29
13561 posts
Honey Beekeeper

This kind of thing makes me really sad. I’m a Christian, but I can confidently say that none of my friends/acquaintances/whomever see me as someone who pushes her religion in everyone’s faces. That’s seriously not cool in my book, and it makes the rest of us look bad. For me, being a Christian means loving and accepting fellow man, not ostracizing them.

My philosophy has always been that I will respect your beliefs, and I hope you can respect mine, too. Easy peasy, right? If only everyone were content to let others believe what they choose.

Post # 30
5976 posts
Bee Keeper

Being relatively religious, I understand that they want to try to “save” as many people as they can, but it’s almost as if you’re telling them you don’t like a particiular food, and they keep trying to get you to eat it. The more you say you don’t like it or don’t want to hear about it, the more they push their views on you. 

I think you taking the high road and just politely declining is the way to go for now. Something along the lines of what AprilJo2011 said about how you won’t use whatever it is they’re pushing on you. Part of being Christian is being tolerant, and your friends certainly aren’t doing that. Maybe you could remind them of that :o) 

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