(Closed) Why can’t people seem to let me be peacefully agnostic??

posted 8 years ago in Secular
Post # 32
Member
10846 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Hey guys! Can we all respect each other’s beliefs in here? I know religion is a sensitive topic, but as much as you don’t want someone pushing their religious beliefs on you, it’s equally as insensitive to call their spiritual beliefs names. We can all be different without belittling each other. A reminder of the TOS:

ii.      While individuals sometimes disagree, we expect such disagreements to be handled in a mature manner.  Please refrain from leaving comments that exhibit intolerance for individuals or groups of people including excessive rudeness, defamatory remarks, racist remarks, threats, or profanity directed at other members.


OP: You’re going to have to take the bull by the horns and let your friends know that you’re not religious and have no intentions of changing your mind. I have a number of very religious friends and we’ve had really interesting conversations about our differences in belief, and respect each other’s choices. It’s not something they push on me, nor I on them since we know each other’s boundaries and belief systems. I think we respect each other the more for it. 

Post # 34
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

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@MrsDrRose612:  I was wondering the same thing…..I don’t agree with everything being said (I’m Christian), but nothing seemed too offensive so far.

And fwiw, I would be incredibly bugged if friends were sending me live feeds to church services or always pushing their beliefs on me.  People that are constantly posting religious (or anti-religious) things on FB get the eye-roll from me.

Post # 35
Member
2152 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I am agnostic, too. I have family members who are SUPER religious and are always making some sort of comment, and I’ve never been the kind to bite my tongue…I guess I’m not peacefully agnostic 😉 I feel the same way-I don’t randomly tell people that I don’t believe in the church, so I don’t appreciate when it’s assumed that I am religious.

Last Christmas, I was at an Aunt’s house with the rest of my father’s side of the family…they began talking endlessly about the different churches in their area, and asked if I went to church that day. When I said no, they asked why, and I said I don’t go unless it’s for a wedding or funeral, without getting into my own beliefs. An uncle then said something like “Well, when you get married, the church __________” I forget what he said, since my mind was reeling…I hate the assumptions!! I told him and the rest of my aunts and whoever else at the table, that my Boyfriend or Best Friend and I are firmly against getting married in any kind of a church..and left the table. Ugh.

Also, I cooked the entire meal for Christmas Eve and Christmas day, and not because I believe in Christmas, but because I enjoy my family being together and like the traditions…well, my SUPER religious-constantly preaching to everyone-practically a nun-aunt, always feels the need to make a very long winded prayer before dinner. I can handle a simple one, but she literally reads something the length of 3-4 full paragraphs that I just find ridiculous. She was sick this year, and I was actually very excited about not having to listen to her before dinner speech….and she sent it with her husband to read!! He wipped out the paper and I said “REALLY? Still? I thought we were going to get out of it”. I’ve had enough.

Post # 36
Member
706 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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@bakerella: Would you mind clarifying what specifically was disrespectful in this thread? Thanks!

Post # 37
Member
13562 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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@MrsDrRose612: 
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@hisgoosiegirl: 
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@mckernae:   I’ll step in and answer your questions to bakerella. As I said in my earlier post, I completely agree that it stinks when people push their beliefs down your throat, whether it’s political beliefs, religious beliefs, or whether to believe in Santa Claus. And it seems like the thread overall is in agreement that it’s about respect, and how respect needs to go both ways. I saw references to God/a god being a ‘made up dude in the sky’ and religion being ‘made up bullshit,’ and that didn’t seem as respectful, so I got concerned that the thread could turn a little sour. And I didn’t want that to happen, because so far, this thread has been so cool and civil, and that’s awesome.

I didn’t want to react emotionally though, so I asked some of the other hostesses what they thought, and bakerella just popped in to try to preempt a turn in the tides.

I think we’ve all seen threads about religion on WB, whether pro- or anti-religion, that unnecessarily turn into a war instead of continuing to be an awesome discussion. And I didn’t want that to happen.

That said, I didn’t mean to interrupt the discussion, and I’m sorry for that!

Post # 38
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

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@Gemstone:  makes sense. I saw those things as well, and chose to ignore. I guess I see the point though….these types of threads usually do take a quick turn off a cliff.

Thanks for the clarification!

Post # 40
Member
867 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

If you truly believed that there was no God or heaven, neither of you would be getting as upset about it!  People who are at peace with their decisions are generally not angry about them nor do they feel the need to defend them!

The fact of the matter is that there is a God.  That much is certain, beyond a shadow of a doubt.  I personally however feel that organized religion is bullsh!t.  The rest is for us to figure out for ourselves.

It’s never a good idea to discuss religion with people, especially not in a public forum.  It is asking for all kinds of trouble.

Post # 41
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

“If you truly believed that there was no God or heaven, neither of you would be getting as upset about it!  People who are at peace with their decisions are generally not angry about them nor do they feel the need to defend them!”

I don’t know if this is necessarily true. To give you an example, I believe that colds are caused by viruses (crazy, right?). My mother on the other hand believes that colds are caused by coldness. So even though I am at peace with my knowledge about viruses, it still drives me nuts when she lectures me on leaving the house with damp hair or drinking cold drinks, or tries to guilt trip me into dressing like a north pole explorer (or else I will catch pneumonia and die), every. single. time. If there was more than one person telling me about this theory and trying to get me to act according to their beliefs, I would get pretty upset about this.

Post # 42
Member
13562 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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@AprilJo2011:  Haha. Amazing example. 🙂

Post # 44
Member
5976 posts
Bee Keeper

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@ViaMinorViator: I also don’t agree with your first statement. What the OP is getting upset about is someone trying to make her believe in something that she doesn’t want to believe in. 

Post # 45
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Over time we slowly but surely lost touch with our evangelical friends. We still have a few Catholic and Christian friends, but they keep their religions to themselves in the same way that I don’t run around telling them there is no god. 

Post # 46
Member
1828 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

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@AprilJo2011:  That is a great analogy, as my mom thinks the same thing!

I’ve had friends who have been pushy about their religion, and about me being agnostic/atheist (still trying to figure it all out). One of the things that I have found to say to them that gets them to back off is along these lines:

Me: Why do you believe in your god?
Them: Because it feels right to me. (or something along those lines).

Me: So, you’re saying something inside of you is telling you that what you believe is true? That believing in god is the right choice?

Them: Yes!

Me: Well, try to imagine that I have that feeling too, except that it’s telling me with all my heart that it’s not right to believe in god. That it isn’t true. Just think about it.

Them:…..

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