Post # 1
So I’ve been thinking for a long while about changing careers after the wedding. I want to become a vet tech. I’m well aware that it is a very hard job – not just playing with animals all day. I get it. I’m not an idiot. HOWEVER my mom is totally unsupportive. She just keeps telling me “that’s not for you. you could never do that” blah blah blah. My Fiance is 110% supportive and thinks it is a great idea for me because he knows how unfulfilled I am career-wise and ow I feel like nothing I’m doing has any significance whatsoever. It just really is getting to me that my mom doesn’t feel like I’m capable of being a strong enough person to handle the job. It really pisses me off. All I want is a little support from her. She can voice concerns in a CONSTRUCTIVE way, but in almost thirty years of my life she has yet to learn how to do that so why start now? It is a huge decision, and one I’m not taking lightly, and it just burns my ass that she thinks that I just woke up and decided that I wanted to change careers and randomly picked vet tech without actually looking into it. Is it so wrong to want some words of encouragement instead of neverending negativity? I don’t know what I expected but it’s really disheartening that she can’t even pretend she believes in me. Fiance does, though, and that’s what really matters ultimately. Still, le sigh.
Post # 3
Awww…she really should be more supportive. Long ago though I decided to only listen to my mom when I need her advice. She offers it freely, but I don’t get too disheartened when I ignore her and she complains. I mean, come on, I am an adult and don’t have major impulses like I did as a teenager!
Post # 4
Oh, yeah, also I forgot to mention that maybe I’d take career advice from her more seriously if she ACTUALLY HAD A JOB. It’s easy to sit at home all day with the dog and email me about how you think my plans are unrealistic for the person I am and how I should just stick to something easy. BLERGH.
Post # 5
Ugh. That is really frustrating. Have you tried to tell her you need a little support? Not sure if that will help or not, but at least you know you’ve done everything you can do.
Post # 6
For now honestly I’m not even gonna go there with her. I know I’m not going to get what I need from her and things have been going pretty smoothly with wedding planning so I’m just gonna ride that out, keep things positive between us, and deal with it later. I’m not making anymoves right now anyway. But I am going to continue looking into my options and formulating a plan of action for the future. I mean, I’m almost 30 years old. I don’t need her permission to switch careers or to do anything. It would be nice, though, if she didn’t make me feel like I’m not capable of doing it.
Post # 7
Follow your heart. Work takes up too much of our life to not be satisfied with our position. I’ve bumped around, and it’s taken me years to find my place. Now, I’m so content. Best wishes!
Post # 8
I have the same thing happen with my parents every time I mention anything like this! I think what it comes down to is that they’re just unable to handle me taking any risks because they’re so afraid it won’t work out – to be fair, not all of the risks I’ve taken in my career have worked out in the past.
But the truth is that you’ve got to do what makes you happy. Parents always come around eventually.
One thing I learned over the past several years is not to let them get inside my head – because believing in their fears I might not succeed was one of the number one things that helped me fail.
Post # 9
I totally get you!! My Mom also offers her advice freely while sitting at home with the dog. She’s never had a job the whole time my parents have been married. So I go to my Dad for career advice.
Usually though, at least my Mom is right. About everything. It’s really annoying actually. And I can’t keep anything from her either, she reads minds. It’s almost superhuman.
That said, give what she’s saying some thought (you obviously are since it bothers you so much) and table that decision until after the wedding. I understand what it’s like to be unhappy with your career and want a change, so definitely pursue it if you can’t get it out of your mind!
Post # 10
UGH! I totally understand wanting the type of support you DESERVE from your mom and not getting it. Total SUCK. Thank goodness your Fiance is giving you the support to follow after what you want.
Who knows what kinds of issues lurk behind your mom poo-pooing on your ideas… but, it totally sucks. 🙁
Post # 11
I used to work at a vet’s office. And I couldn’t handle it. I suggest contacting a few vet’s in your area and ask them if you can come in and observe them for a week or two, and then make your decision.
Post # 12
I have a general rule of not discussing things with people I know aren’t going to be supportive. It sucks that one of those people is your mother, and one of those things is your future career plans, but sometimes the important thing is to keep yourself sane! I’d just stop discussing the plans with her completely and instead confide in your Fiance and friends who will be excited for you!