(Closed) Why can’t they just support me?!? ARGH

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Awww…she really should be more supportive. Long ago though I decided to only listen to my mom when I need her advice. She offers it freely, but I don’t get too disheartened when I ignore her and she complains. I mean, come on, I am an adult and don’t have major impulses like I did as a teenager!

Post # 5
Member
2066 posts
Buzzing bee

Ugh.  That is really frustrating.  Have you tried to tell her you need a little support?  Not sure if that will help or not, but at least you know you’ve done everything you can do.

Post # 7
Member
581 posts
Busy bee

Follow your heart.  Work takes up too much of our life to not be satisfied with our position.  I’ve bumped around, and it’s taken me years to find my place.  Now, I’m so content.  Best wishes!

Post # 8
Member
14 posts
Newbee

I have the same thing happen with my parents every time I mention anything like this! I think what it comes down to is that they’re just unable to handle me taking any risks because they’re so afraid it won’t work out – to be fair, not all of the risks I’ve taken in my career have worked out in the past.

 

But the truth is that you’ve got to do what makes you happy. Parents always come around eventually.

 

One thing I learned over the past several years is not to let them get inside my head – because believing in their fears I might not succeed was one of the number one things that helped me fail.

Post # 9
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I totally get you!! My Mom also offers her advice freely while sitting at home with the dog. She’s never had a job the whole time my parents have been married. So I go to my Dad for career advice.

Usually though, at least my Mom is right. About everything. It’s really annoying actually. And I can’t keep anything from her either, she reads minds. It’s almost superhuman. 

That said, give what she’s saying some thought (you obviously are since it bothers you so much) and table that decision until after the wedding. I understand what it’s like to be unhappy with your career and want a change, so definitely pursue it if you can’t get it out of your mind!

Post # 10
Member
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

UGH!  I totally understand wanting the type of support you DESERVE from your mom and not getting it.  Total SUCK.  Thank goodness your Fiance is giving you the support to follow after what you want.

Who knows what kinds of issues lurk behind your mom poo-pooing on your ideas… but, it totally sucks. 🙁

Post # 11
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I used to work at a vet’s office. And I couldn’t handle it. I suggest contacting a few vet’s in your area and ask them if you can come in and observe them for a week or two, and then make your decision.

Post # 12
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

I have a general rule of not discussing things with people I know aren’t going to be supportive. It sucks that one of those people is your mother, and one of those things is your future career plans, but sometimes the important thing is to keep yourself sane! I’d just stop discussing the plans with her completely and instead confide in your Fiance and friends who will be excited for you!

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