(Closed) "Why can't you wait?" (RANTING)

posted 6 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
Member
2335 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Some of the distant family on my FI’s side have made comments like this, as well as an uncle of mine, although not outright to our faces. It’s been in the form of remarks to our parents.

I’m in a similar situation as you are- I’ve been with my Fiance for four years (almost 5 by the wedding) and we’re TIRED of waiting. We HAVE been waiting. Lol.

People are just rude. Most of the family who made those kind of comments got married in their late late 30s/early 40s or have never been married at all. I suspect there’s some bitterness there.

Post # 4
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m sorry you’re going through a discouraging time.  I understand the frustration, but they’re only opinions.  Everyone has one no matter what do, where, and look.  If you two are ready then CONGRATULATIONS!  This is such an exciting time so please don’t let anyone rain on your parade.  You two know each other best.  =) 

Post # 5
Member
1722 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

UGH!!!! I feel ya girl, I hear it all the time from family, people who are supposed to support me!!  Technically I am waiting but that is just because we are all broke lol but if we weren’t my wedding would be in a month!!!! lol I just tell them why wait? Who knows if there is going to be a tomorrow? I want to shout off the roof tops that I love my man and want to be with him for the rest of my life and that is not gonna change!  even if I am young.  Dont let anyone stop you from doing what makes you happy! I know I wont 🙂

Post # 6
Member
2577 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

People will always make negative comments, don’t let it get to you!

If it is right, then go for it.

Post # 7
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2005

Their opinions don’t matter is how I look at it lol. As long as the couple is happy (and for me my parents approve) I really don’t care what anyone else has to say. 

Enjoy your life and your decisions. <3

Your last sentence is something I’ve voiced often because of stuff like this lol.

Post # 8
Member
486 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Haha. I love your comment about no one being invited to the wedding anymore! The only person I have had a problem with is my dad…for the longest time he kept trying to push us to wait and Fiance and I have been together for 4.5 years. The rest of my family keeps saying that it’s about time. 

Post # 9
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Before my hubby and i got married that’s all we’ve heard I’ve been with him for..going on 6 years in august. It is annoying and stressful to keep hearing the same “excusses” that the family did give us on my why NEED to wait. We’ve made our decision and got married with hardly anyone their (courthouse). 

Post # 10
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I got some of that too… but you have to look at it in the point of view of : You’re lucky to have someone in your life that you want to marry. You should take this more as the opportunity of telling that person what an amazing person you are going to marry… I know I married the man of my dreams, sweet, caring and my best friend.

 

Maybe they married the wrong person and think everyone will do the same. Tell them you are going with your gut feeling and thats that. Nothing they say will change your mind about your Fiance.

Post # 11
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2018 - the oak tree of peover

luckily i haven’t really faced this problem (i’m 21 and been with my bf 5 years, i don’t know about your situation!) and had friends/family asking if we were thinking about an engagement for about a year before it happened. sometimes i do wonder if people i’m less close to think i’m too young, which is annoying because frankly they don’t really know anything about our relationship!

to be fair people are probably only trying to look out for you. alot of younger couples do end up divorcing etc because you change so much as you grow but at the end of the day it’s up to you not them, and i feel if you’re adult enough to make this decision you’ll be adult enough to deal with it if it goes wrong! and on the flip side of the coin you hear amazing stories of couples that met young and stayed together forever – why shouldn’t that be you?! plus, at the end of the day only you and you Fiance know how you feel together. 🙂

oh, and i totally agree that if you were older it would be questioning why you waited so long!

Post # 12
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I haven’t heard anything like this since we were engaged, a year and a half ago now, but I remember people sharing their opinions before he popped the question, about how young people should wait and ‘be young’, you know the whole  ‘Marriage is for grown-ups’ thing.

We’ve been togather 8 years, I’m 23 and we’re getting married in 3 weeks. How many people who are older than me can say they’ve been together for eight years before marrying?? Surely not many. I never let other people dictate how I should live, especially when it comes to my relationship. Nobody else knows the depth of a relationship except the two people in it! Whether you’ve been together 1 year or 20, you know when its time to tie the knot :).

Post # 13
Member
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@swimchica:  I know what you’re saying! I just always say back “when you know its right, its right”

Post # 14
Member
2006 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I always responded with “Well we know we want to be together, its not like we are going to break up to go do separate “young” things, so why would we want to wait to start our lives together?”

Post # 15
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

My fiance and I have pushed our wedding back to April 19, 2014 and all we keep hearing is why dont you just do it now? WTF mind your own business…we arent doing it now because we want to have an awesome wedding!

I agree with wanting to tell people to STFU

Post # 16
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Sounds like the story of Goldie Locks and the Three bears. Someone’s always gonna say it’s Too hot or it’s too cold. Rarely is it ever just right for anyone but you and your Fiance.

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